Hey

Introduce yourself here, a bit about you and your interests.

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Not Human At All
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Hey

Postby Not Human At All » Wed Mar 01, 2017 8:32 pm

I'm Beth, a 19 year old university student who's been diagnosed with dyspraxia (and dyslexia, but I don't think my dyslexia is that bad - especially compared to how bad the dyspraxia is) for over a year. For many years, I've thought I was slow and I've experienced lots of problems such as not knowing how to use or do things (despite other people knowing pretty much straight away), doing things slowly, forgetting/losing things and getting dates and times confused. Another problem that impacted on my education was my handwriting - I have a slow writing speed and, often, even I can't read it. I got what would be considered good grades at school, so no one picked up on me having any kind of condition, so I didn't get any support at school and got no special requirements in my GCSEs - I still have no idea how I managed to pass with my awful handwriting. When I started my A Levels, my tutors realised my handwriting could cause problems and suggested a use a laptop for exams, which helped a lot, but I never got a diagnosis. I spoke to the disability department at my university to ask about using laptops in exams and from there, they sent me for an assessment. I was diagnosed with specific learning difficulties of a dyslexic-dyspraxic nature and now get both use of a laptop and 25% extra time. What I'm worried about now is what I career I could possibly do when I leave university. I'm currently studying Biochemistry & Genetics (if only I'd have known I was dyspraxic and not clever enough before I chose my subject) and I'm rubbish enough at second year laboratory practicals, so working in labs or industry is out of the question. I'm desperately looking for some career I could do but everything seems to have some requirement that means I just couldn't do it - like organisational skills, time management, technical ability, attention to detail... I have so many weaknesses that are so disabling, and absolutely nothing to make up for it! I feel like I have no future and it makes me feel so depressed, anxious and negative about myself. I've was always very academic and really wanted to get a good education and then a graduate career - the thought of not being able to do that breaks me, and makes me question the point of struggling through university. :(

Tom fod
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Re: Hey

Postby Tom fod » Wed Mar 01, 2017 11:09 pm

Hi Beth and welcome

There's another member here who's doing a Chemistry Degree see viewtopic.php?f=12&t=5469

I didn't go to University myself as tbh I was scared I would not manage financially and that was before I really understood about dyspraxia. I just thought I was useless. Learning I had the condition was hard. in part it explained why but it did cause me a lot of worry about what the label would mean and how others would perceive/judge me. There's no denying that things are more difficult and we have to work harder but you're not unintelligent, you just think differently (and this can be a very positive thing) and with trial and error you will find a niche for yourself.

I did Chemistry and Biology at A Level but only managed an AS at Chemistry and Ungraded at Biology Molar calculations and trying to get my head around genetics fried my poor brain too. Please don't feel you have to be defined by the label or constrained by others' notion of what someone with a Neurodiversity Condition can or cannot do
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Not Human At All
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:53 pm

Re: Hey

Postby Not Human At All » Thu Mar 02, 2017 12:29 am

Tom fod wrote:Hi Beth and welcome

There's another member here who's doing a Chemistry Degree see viewtopic.php?f=12&t=5469

I didn't go to University myself as tbh I was scared I would not manage financially and that was before I really understood about dyspraxia. I just thought I was useless. Learning I had the condition was hard. in part it explained why but it did cause me a lot of worry about what the label would mean and how others would perceive/judge me. There's no denying that things are more difficult and we have to work harder but you're not unintelligent, you just think differently (and this can be a very positive thing) and with trial and error you will find a niche for yourself.

I did Chemistry and Biology at A Level but only managed an AS at Chemistry and Ungraded at Biology Molar calculations and trying to get my head around genetics fried my poor brain too. Please don't feel you have to be defined by the label or constrained by others' notion of what someone with a Neurodiversity Condition can or cannot do


Ah, thanks for letting me know! And thank you for the advice. Maybe if I work hard I'll be able to find something. I've had an short appointment with a careers adviser and I'm going to have a longer one with someone from my department, so that might help a bit. :)

welshwizard
Getting settled in
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Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2017 8:38 am

Re: Hey

Postby welshwizard » Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:26 pm

Are you interested in research? If you enjoy lab work but are worried about time-pressured jobs like pathology etc, could something like research fit you? Still lab based but also possibly less deadline-y (but needing a lot of personal organisation, although you could maybe tackle that by putting external structure in place). There are often a lot of funded PhD places for biochem and/or genetics I think?

Sorry if that's no help - not an expert in the area, but my thoughts if it's any use to you.

Not Human At All
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:53 pm

Re: Hey

Postby Not Human At All » Fri Mar 03, 2017 4:09 pm

welshwizard wrote:Are you interested in research? If you enjoy lab work but are worried about time-pressured jobs like pathology etc, could something like research fit you? Still lab based but also possibly less deadline-y (but needing a lot of personal organisation, although you could maybe tackle that by putting external structure in place). There are often a lot of funded PhD places for biochem and/or genetics I think?

Sorry if that's no help - not an expert in the area, but my thoughts if it's any use to you.


Potentially I would be, but my dyspraxia means I'm awful at any practical stuff and am nowhere near precise enough. I'd just end up messing up the results and ruining everything. Also I'm getting a support worker to help me in labs, and I can't see anyone being willing to employ me and then employ an extra person to support me, when they could just employ one person who can actually do the work. :P I suppose in the past I had this kind of dream of being a research scientist working on things that could really benefit the world (sadly that's out of the question now), but I actually don't enjoy lab work. However, this may be more because it reminds me of how useless and incompetent I am, which is really depressing, and the risk of messing up and doing something stupid just stresses me out. Maybe if I changed my attitude to it, it may be less depressing, but I don't know... Thanks for your suggestion, though. :)

Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: Hey

Postby Tom fod » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:02 pm

Hi again Beth

I think we all feel hopeless at times and have disaster days. It is rarely easy but try to look at it from the perspective that your late diagnosis is testament to the fact that you have shown you are capable of developing personal coping strategies that have masked the conditions existence.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Not Human At All
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:53 pm

Re: Hey

Postby Not Human At All » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:35 pm

Tom fod wrote:Hi again Beth

I think we all feel hopeless at times and have disaster days. It is rarely easy but try to look at it from the perspective that your late diagnosis is testament to the fact that you have shown you are capable of developing personal coping strategies that have masked the conditions existence.


Thank you. I've been feeling extremely hopeless lately. I feel like I have no skills or strength to make up for all of my weaknesses and that my future is never going to be anything but misery and difficulty. I'm just constantly imagining watching all my friends get great jobs after finishing their degree, and then me struggling to hold down any kind of job. The main issue is that it's as if my idea of how I am and what I will do in my life has been completely shattered. I think I have identity issues in that, when I find out something about myself, I make it like that's entirely what I am. Growing up, my identity was a very academic, career-minded person and now I'm starting to feel like I may not be able to have an academic career. I just don't think I can accept that and now a lot of my identity is based around being dyspraxic and feeling depressed and hopeless. I feel like I'm useless and I'm struggling to find purpose in my life. Sorry, I think I'm rambling now and I know I'm being a bit pathetic and over-the-top. I know I should stop worrying about the future and enjoy my life now - I'm wasting the best time of my life being upset about something I don't have control over, but I can't stop. I think it's worth mentioning that I'm currently seeing a counsellor from my university's counselling service to help me deal with these feelings. :P

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1560
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Hey

Postby Tom fod » Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:47 pm

Not Human At All wrote: Thank you. I've been feeling extremely hopeless lately. I feel like I have no skills or strength to make up for all of my weaknesses and that my future is never going to be anything but misery and difficulty. I'm just constantly imagining watching all my friends get great jobs after finishing their degree, and then me struggling to hold down any kind of job. The main issue is that it's as if my idea of how I am and what I will do in my life has been completely shattered. I think I have identity issues in that, when I find out something about myself, I make it like that's entirely what I am. Growing up, my identity was a very academic, career-minded person and now I'm starting to feel like I may not be able to have an academic career. I just don't think I can accept that and now a lot of my identity is based around being dyspraxic and feeling depressed and hopeless. I feel like I'm useless and I'm struggling to find purpose in my life. Sorry, I think I'm rambling now and I know I'm being a bit pathetic and over-the-top. I know I should stop worrying about the future and enjoy my life now - I'm wasting the best time of my life being upset about something I don't have control over, but I can't stop. I think it's worth mentioning that I'm currently seeing a counsellor from my university's counselling service to help me deal with these feelings. :P



Hi again Beth
Glad to read you/ve got some counselling sessions lined up. I've experienced many of the same feelings you've had and it is/was very difficult nigh on impossible for others to convince me that it was not the end of the world. Remember being Dyspraxic is only a part of your identity and working through what the revelation of diagnosis will mean for you is not easy, but I reckon you can. Try to be be kind to yourself as you are worth that.

You're still Beth and you are human, even if you don't feel that way right now. I had some CBT counselling around 5 years ago now as I was really struggling at work and with other life pressures. My learning about Dyspraxia came a bit later but I found this site really helped me back then, when I first discovered it.

Anyway enough platitudes. Wishing you a nice weekend.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

DanAu96
Getting settled in
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2016 11:05 pm

Re: Hey

Postby DanAu96 » Sat Mar 04, 2017 8:39 pm

Tom fod wrote:Hi Beth and welcome

There's another member here who's doing a Chemistry Degree see viewtopic.php?f=12&t=5469

I didn't go to University myself as tbh I was scared I would not manage financially and that was before I really understood about dyspraxia. I just thought I was useless. Learning I had the condition was hard. in part it explained why but it did cause me a lot of worry about what the label would mean and how others would perceive/judge me. There's no denying that things are more difficult and we have to work harder but you're not unintelligent, you just think differently (and this can be a very positive thing) and with trial and error you will find a niche for yourself.

I did Chemistry and Biology at A Level but only managed an AS at Chemistry and Ungraded at Biology Molar calculations and trying to get my head around genetics fried my poor brain too. Please don't feel you have to be defined by the label or constrained by others' notion of what someone with a Neurodiversity Condition can or cannot do



Hello

Not Human At All
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:53 pm

Re: Hey

Postby Not Human At All » Sat Mar 04, 2017 8:45 pm

Tom fod wrote:Hi again Beth
Glad to read you/ve got some counselling sessions lined up. I've experienced many of the same feelings you've had and it is/was very difficult nigh on impossible for others to convince me that it was not the end of the world. Remember being Dyspraxic is only a part of your identity and working through what the revelation of diagnosis will mean for you is not easy, but I reckon you can. Try to be be kind to yourself as you are worth that.

You're still Beth and you are human, even if you don't feel that way right now. I had some CBT counselling around 5 years ago now as I was really struggling at work and with other life pressures. My learning about Dyspraxia came a bit later but I found this site really helped me back then, when I first discovered it.

Anyway enough platitudes. Wishing you a nice weekend.


Thank you, and you too. :)

DanAu96 wrote:Hello


Hi. :)

Not Human At All
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:53 pm

Re: Hey

Postby Not Human At All » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:49 pm

Choosay wrote:Hi Beth and welcome
Illegal link removed. We do not tolerate the posting of links to dodgy websites for the poster's commercial gain


Thanks. :)
Last edited by Tom fod on Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Removal of illegal URL link in quoted post

Tom fod
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Posts: 1560
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Hey

Postby Tom fod » Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:12 pm

Beth
It was difficult to see as it was in white text but Choosay was not here as a genuine member instead he or she posted multiple advertising links to a commercial website, which is expressly forbidden here. Please never click on and refrain from quoting posts containing such links.

Please report such posts immediately using the Report Post icon so that we can take them down.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)


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