Hello everybody

Introduce yourself here, a bit about you and your interests.

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godofthunder24
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:01 pm

Hello everybody

Post by godofthunder24 »

I've just joined the board because I believe symptoms I've had since a child (I'm now 47) are either because of Dyspraxia or something very similar. I also have 3 year old son and I can see some of the Dyspraxic traits in him - poor co-ordination walking, unable to jump etc.

For myself I'm a bit of a contradiction. I work in IT but my main hobby ever since I can remember is playing the drums. I've done pretty well considering it's a hobby and have played abroad and in front of thousands of people. I've also taught drums for quite a number of years. The bit that surprises me is that drums take co-ordination and and setting up a kit is a task that requires understanding how the different parts fit together. In all other aspects of my life where putting things together or co-ordinating my actions are required I've really struggled.

I'm finding that with my son there are many aspects to life where you have to cope e.g. fitting a car seat, putting up stair gates, assembling a trampoline, correctly attaching the straps on a buggy etc. These are difficult enough in themselves but even worse are those moments when you have to anticipate things that might happen to your son e.g. you'll fall off the sofa, you'll tip over in your ride-along on that uneven ground.

The problem is that I don't see these things coming - it's like they either don't occur to me or I can't work out how 2 physical objects are going to interact with each other (it could be me and another object or two other objects). This has led me to lead a "safe" existence where I'll avoid situations where my brain wouldn't be able to process the information correctly to keep me safe. You could think of it as having no common sense in a way.

I don't know if any of this strikes a chord but I'm getting anxious that if you combine my traits and safety awareness with my sons similar traits that this will impact him even further. Our only saving grace is that my wife is totally the opposite and has bags of common sense so I'm hoping that some of this will win in the end.

Anyway, this is my introduction and I think I'll be spending more time here reading other people's stories and trying to understand if Dyspraxia is playing a part in all of this.

Thanks.
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2946
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Hello everybody

Post by Tom fod »

Hi and welcome, I like your choice of username.

We're all very different and by no means fit the model of what someone with dyspraxia can.can't do, has/doesn't have, is/is not. We're all unique. So whilst you're adept at drumming and have a sense of rhythm (not something we with dyspraxia are supposed to be allowed to have!), you do seem to beat yourself over stuff which you rightly feel you should be better at, for the sake of your son/family. I think that to an extent you do have 'common sense' in the sense that you have an appreciation of your limitations, (even if they are frustrating for you.)

As regards the notion of 'common sense' does this actually exist. People are always doing silly even downright stupid things and mostly they get away relatively unscathed and sometimes even store the experience/knowledge to avoid a similar mishap re-occurring. That said we are creatures of habit and sometimes we do make the same mistakes over and over.

I think we're sometimes too risk averse as in many ways minor mishaps and learning from these is an important life lesson. That said I'm not about to try to self-rewire my flat, extract a friends tooth or buy a chainsaw and have a go at felling a tree just for the hell of it (all extreme examples I know.) I'm not saying completely throw caution to the wind, there is no harm in trying to push boundaries a little and be a bit adventurous. Despite your self confessed lack of common sense, poor sense of hazard perception or inability to foresee cause and effect you haven't done badly really?

Hope this of some comfort but feel free to disagree or challenge my ramblings here.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
nickye
Power poster
Posts: 158
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:16 pm

Re: Hello everybody

Post by nickye »

Hi there

I thought I'd sent a reply, but I think it couldn't have posted properly. Welcome to the forum. Like you, I'm 47 (soon to be 48 though - how did that happen?!) I found out I had dyspraxia only about three years ago, but it made a lot of sense to me when I found out about it.

My daughter is now 14, but when she was a baby I had a lot of trouble with practical things like putting up the pushchair and putting the car seat in the car etc. I couldn't understand why. I had spent years avoiding most practical tasks, and I worked in an office. I did eventually learn to drive - it took me about three years! When I went to work in pre-school when my daughter started school I struggled with getting the kitchen tasks done on time, and couldn't remember where equipment went in the room. I loved the kids though - and often ended up helping ones with special needs.

I have become better at practical things the more I've done them. I find that if I can do something that i can practice again and again - like playing the piano or knitting then it is fine. It's when I have to do something 'suddenly' or in the middle of doing/thinking about other things. Then I feel in a panic and I think people are picking on me and/or laughing at me. They are not always really, but that's how I feel. I quite understand why you could play the drums (that's brilliant - my piano is nowhere near that standard) but struggle with everyday things. My driving instructur used to say to me why do you find it difficult to drive when youc an play the piano and have co-ordination.

Gradually I'm feeling happier about thigns and I now work as a classroom assistant in a college. All these 'odd' things that have happend over the years make sense to me now.

I hope you get as much out of this forum as I do, it's really good, and people are very supportive.

Nicky
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