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Ynahdc
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun May 22, 2016 4:10 pm

Hello everyone

Post by Ynahdc »

I am a female from the uk age 30.
I always knew something wasn't quite right. I would constantly be sent for dyslexia tests in school and I would get so frustrated because I knew it wasn't that at all!
I only discovered dyspraxia when I hit 26. I read through it all and it was like looking in a mirror.
What really sucks is I cannot get any diagnosis. There is still a huge lack of awareness and it affects every part of my life.

My description of dyspraxia for non-dyspraxics.

Imagine you use imperial weight measurements to judge the weight of a newborn baby.
Somebody gives you the weight of their baby in kg's
You pause, you really don't know what that weight is. You may ask google what that weight is.

Think about spending your whole life using an analog clock. someone tells you 'meet me in the library at 16 hundred hours sharp'
Do you find yourself sometimes counting in your head?
13 = 1 14=2 etc until you think 'ah yes that means 4'oclock.'

Now imagine your brain thinks this way no matter which measurement is used.
This is what it feels like to lose track of time, to be unable to judge distance and unable to predict weight in your head as a person with dyspraxia.
You must be careful not to burn the house down whilst cooking! lol

Imagine you drank too much alcohol as a teen. You have to walk back into your house and act sober or your mum will bust you - No pressure!
What do you struggle with in this situation?
Perhaps controlling your speech pitch or tone.
Gathering your thoughts correctly so you sound sober
Your spacial awareness is screwed, so make sure you enter the correct house!
It's quite tricky but with a bit of practice you may pull it off, although only for a short period of time; so maybe heading upstairs to your room might be best so you can hide.

When drunk you also have heighten emotions. Things that don't affect you when sober will hit you hard when you are drunk. You may also be overly aggressive depending on you as a person.

This is how it feels to function as a dyspraxic when you try to act professional at work or in a meeting etc. You constantly feel the need to carry yourself in a 'normal' way.
You don't like feeling lost in a building either and you know you will look a bit dumb if you ask for directions Every time despite entering that building EVERY day.

You're doing DIY. You have the task of putting a picture up using a hammer and a nail.
But that would be too easy right.
So now imagine you have to put this picture up whilst wearing boxing gloves.
Not so easy now is it....
You also have your partner whinging in the background about not trusting you with a hammer.
'You might smash a hole in the wall!!' He says
He's begging you to let him do the DIY as it's painful for him to watch you!

Also All DIY instructions are in Chinese to you - just to make you feel more useless than you already do!
Of course your partner is fluent in Chinese scripture- lucky him!

Imagine every time you have an in-depth conversation with someone. every other sentence they will reply in Jamaican patois.

You are expected to know what they are saying; they will look down on you if you don't. You can kind of understand what they are saying but a lot of the time you walk away from the encounter only to realise a while after what they actually meant.

This is normal everyday conversation for a dyspraxic. You do adapt quite well eventually. You get better the older you get. Patois grows on you.

Everything is over sensitive. So smells are stronger- stay away from perfumes! , taste is stronger, texture of food can make you gag, noise can affect how you process your thoughts, clothes are a nightmare as you don't feel comfortable and notice labels in them etc.

Tests are a huge nightmare. Every darn question will be as hard as

'A train travels a 150miles an hour. Bananas approach you from your left, oranges from your right. If you are on the train how many apples are you holding?'

Your friends pens scribble away whilst you sit patiently picking apart the question in a desperate attempt to solve it.

Just one more added bonus for you.
Everything is a distraction. So you have to be extremely careful about how you balance your life and day.
The internet is your enemy- you can get drawn in to it while time passes you by. You have a strong focus when it comes to things you are interested in.
It's like constantly having 'shiny things' dangled around that you are desperate to explore.
Yet other things you cannot focus on. Like listening to a speech on 'the many different ways you could use piece of string' - in a monotone voice
zzzzzzzzzz
Lists are helpful and post it notes.
Personally I become a bit ocd. I push all objects in my house against walls so I don't trip. I plan things a little too much to ensure I don't forget my responsibilities. There are calendars and lists everywhere!

I hold my hands out to tell left from right. Left makes an 'L' shape with my thumb and finger.

All this is invisible to most people. Well, if they do notice they assume you are eccentric, crazy or dumb.

You cannot tell everyone you meet you have dyspraxia.

The people who do know vary with response.

Some believe the boxing gloves are a figment of your imagination. They also believe you are not intelligent and that you do not try hard enough.

Some do believe you thank god.

Some half believe you but don't really understand how much it affects you. They say things like 'god made us to think in different ways'
A nice sentiment ... But maybe they should try thinking this way their whole lives or even for a day! They would soon change their tune.
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2947
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Hello everyone

Post by Tom fod »

Hi and welcome and thank you for sharing your analogies to try to better describe dyspraxia to the non dyspraxic. I hope you find the forums helpful.

There are some crossovers with dyslexia so that might go some way to explaining why you were tested for dyslexia but yes it is annoying when you mention dyspraxia and the person you're talking to can only comprehend the idea of dyslexia (and that view/knowledge too may be somewhat limited). It's never easy trying to explain something that makes itself difficult to explain. It's intensely annoying that some people treat us as 'a bit thick or slow' when really that description is so much more applicable to them.

I too have to work hard to appear normal though that is not always foolproof and it is tiring. I find I employ a bit of OCD in my coping strategies and ofter have to look at me hands when I'm trying to identify left/right. It is a pain but we often have gifts in that we can see solutions others have not as we think about and approach problems differently. We are also often very determined and have to be as it is often feels like a struggle to be understood and appreciated whether we choose to openly avow dyspraxia or only tell those we really have to.

We all have unique experiences so feel free to politely differ on what I've spouted here.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Ynahdc
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun May 22, 2016 4:10 pm

Re: Hello everyone

Post by Ynahdc »

Thanks for your reply Tom.
I decided to write in a way that a non dyspraxic may be able to relate to purely because my children have been pointed out as having learning difficulties too and it has been a complete nightmare to get the schools to understand dyspraxia. They will often hint at autism or adhd (which is possible btw as my partner has adhd) but I know they have either dyspraxia or traits of dyspraxia in the mix of the their struggles and there is very little structured ways to access and help them. Hence me literally writing a description out about my own experiences to them. I cannot express myself very well verbally on the spot. So I thought to hell with it I will email it to them, which I originally did.
I also think it's really important to show children with dyspraxia and their parents positive role models of adults who have 'adapted' themselves to tackle difficult tasks in life.
We can do some amazing things. We often rewire our brains and can sometimes produce amazing work. I personally have found some subjects I can spot things and link things with ease. I would often use research as a way of 'winding down' from thinking. That may sound strange but the simplistic thoughts and sequences are my issue.
Complicated thoughts in my head are most definitely jumbled but I have no need to explain them to anyone. I can just store them in a jumble and my brain will reach for them when needed. I often have impressive lightbulb moments. I also think if you experience difficulties you tend to become more empathetic and have a drive to care and also challenge ideas in many subjects and ways.
We are unique and we have our place in the world.
Jules
Getting settled in
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 8:21 am

Re: Hello everyone

Post by Jules »

You have described exactly how I feel.
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2947
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Hello everyone

Post by Tom fod »

Jules wrote:You have described exactly how I feel.
Hi Jules

Welcome to our corner of the web. Glad you've found us
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
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