From Bristol

Introduce yourself here, a bit about you and your interests.

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Jessydotcom
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Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:56 am

From Bristol

Post by Jessydotcom » Sun Jan 24, 2016 10:32 am

Dear all

My name is Jess. I am 26 as of the 15th January 2016.

I live in Bristol, close to Cabot Circus. In September I got married to my husband Gary. Gary has Asperges syndrome, partial deafness and depression. I have dyspraxia. I was diagnosed at a young age. Some how we work together.

I work for Lyons Davidson Bristol and I am training to become a Cost Lawyer.

Right now my Husband and I are saving money for a deposit to get a Mortgage.

Hobbies: spa/swimming, cats, sci-fi tv shows, board gaming.

How has dyspraxia affected me?

In the past I had very messy handwriting. I hold a pen different to normal folk. I was always the last person to picked on a team.

Recently though I can never work out if my problems are linked to dyspraxia or I am just being human. If there is a daily problem is it part of the normal functioning of being a human being. All humans have their limits. Or is it the problem specifically linked to having dyspraxia. Perhaps its not so important but sometimes I like to know is it just me or is everyoneelse experiencing.

Work/ Studying: Academically I am smart. I got a first in law and nearly a distinction in my LPC (my marks were at distinction level but I had to resit an interviewing and advising skill). Last year I did an ACL course and my marks were 3% more than my Manager. Exams were lot better since I got allowed to use a computer in the exam.
However, there are things that are just frustrating. Deadlines. I managed deadlines at University as they were generally spread out. This week I had a deadline every other day. Its not I could not do the work in that time. It panics me and maybe it tAkes a lot out of me. I have mentioned this to my Manager. She suggested she could reduce the number of files I am allocated. I do not think this would solve the issue.
A lot of my job involves negotiating with the otherside. I am not a massive fan of using the telephone. I think I get a bit of anxiety. When I do talk to sometime I am good at telling them what I need to say. i plan it in my head. What I am not always great is responding. I often get brain freeze. Sometimes people speak too fast that I have not orocessed what the person has said to me. I have my coping strategies but I would like to eventually move past them. Usually I try as much as I can make a note of what people say and say something like I need to take instructions. Eventually I would like to get to a position where I can have a full on debate over the phone.
I prefer letter writing in my negotiations. It gives me more planning and responding time. However, I need to be better at being more assertive, this orobably applies onnthe telephone. Sometimes its getting the words together which is difficult. There are ways to say things and ways not to say things.

Social: I have a few close freinds. I struggle breaking bounaries with people, being myself around others. Some people its more natural than others but a lot of people there is an invisible brick wall. I am not massive fans of large group situations as I struggle to follow different conversations. Sometimes I struggle talking to one person for a long period of time and I zone in and out of conversations. My husband hates when I do this. I day dream often. When I talk to people or talking to a group I sometimes plan the conversation. Problem is I get frustrated when my my very detailed plan doesnt happen.

I am quite clumsy and I often lose things. Most things that get lost on my side of the bed, my clutter area. I worry what my husband thinks of me. He jokingly associates me with Miranda on bbc iplayer. She has extreme clumsiness but I say its more exagerated than my clumsiness.

Driving: i had passed my driving test on an automatic car for the first time but I only just scraped a pass. I do own a car because we cannot justify the cost and we walk to work. My Father in law is going to help me sort out renting a car every now and then especially when seeing family. Dyspraxia did affect me when I learnt. I often hesitated when on roundabouts. My instructor said I have to find the moment and go for it.

Housework: not a massive fan especially when working full time. I am quite lazy when I have to use force/ muscles.

Fatigue: I get tired very early. Sometimes I am in bed by 8/9 pm sleep by 10 pm. Sometimes I am in bed and fall asleep before my husband goes to bed.

Please introduce yourself. If you are in Bristol or Reading area (use to live in Reading), or Dorset (parents live there) or if you are a lawyer I would like to know.

Ram
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Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:30 am

Re: From Bristol

Post by Ram » Sun Jan 24, 2016 7:39 pm

Welcome to the site, Jess.

Congratulations on getting 1st class degree in Law. That's no mean feat!

I certainly can relate to some of the struggles you mention with oral communication in spur of the moment situations.

Stooeyja
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Joined: Fri May 12, 2017 1:37 pm

Re: From Bristol

Post by Stooeyja » Fri May 12, 2017 1:51 pm

Does anyone know of any support groups in Bristol?

Tom fod
Administrator
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: From Bristol

Post by Tom fod » Fri May 12, 2017 11:17 pm

Hi and welcome.
I'm pretty sure one of our relatively recent members mentioned a Bristol-based group. I'll draw his attention to your post.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

darkneo
Getting settled in
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2014 8:30 pm
Location: Bristol

Re: From Bristol

Post by darkneo » Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:44 am

Hi Everyone, I am Darkneo and I also live in Bristol ! It would be great if there was a group in Bristol and I cud go to it to get some help and make friends.

Darkneo.

"Welcome to the real world Neo....."

Pistachio
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Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2017 10:45 am

Re: From Bristol

Post by Pistachio » Sat Sep 16, 2017 1:05 pm

Hi guys,
I'm Steph, I live in Bristol too... yeah let's start a group! Or at least go for a beer? :)

Jess, I empathise with so much of what you said, I would like to just say "Ditto"! You are not alone. I am seriously phone phobic, even when friends or my mum rings I get really anxious, normally I just let it ring out and call them back at some later time (or not), after I have fretted a while. I get brain freeze all the time, or drift off and forget to listen, or there's awkward silences. I can't keep up with the average pace of conversation, I just process spoken word much slower than most folk... I definitely take in a lot more when reading. I'm far from stupid but I really feel I come across like a bumbling idiot sometimes! My main coping mechanism for this has always been avoiding people or getting drunk with them. I'm much more myself after a couple of beers. There must be other solutions though (not that I'm giving up the beer, that would be madness).

I'm 32 and I've not gone through the official diagnosis marathon yet, but from what I've been reading and the various online tests I've done, it seems I've a fun mix of Dyspraxia and ADHD. I also tested borderline for Aspergers, which runs in the family.

There's a blurry crossover between the three but I have a lot of symptoms that are dyspraxia specific, and that's the one that resonates the most, if I had to guess at a label. But yes we are people too, and varied ones, and in a few years they'll probably have a name for every type of personality and call it a syndrome. I don't know how I feel about that yet, and I've never had much luck with doctors, so I don't know if I'll go for the official diagnosis. It would have been handy about 30 years ago!

I'm just hoping I can find some better coping strategies now I have an indication of where to look. My fine motor skills are good (I make jewellery for a living), but the broader stuff is tricky. The outside world stuff. I have literally no sense of direction... I get lost inside friends houses, in pubs, on short routes I've taken hundreds of times. I can't ride a bike uphill, even though I'm relatively fit. It just grinds to a halt, or I fall over. I bump into things and injure myself every day, I stumble or trip over for no reason at all. I have actually walked into a lamp post on more than one occasion. I never learnt to drive because I am terrified and I think maybe that's a good thing... When I cycle I run read lights before I see them, or get on roundabouts without remembering to look first. I've now given up cycling.

All my life I've been described as weird, clumsy, careless, ditzy, moody, directionless and unmotivated... (I'm really selling myself here haha... I'm also actually quite nice, honest!)... anyway I suppose it's nice to have a different label to use that encompasses all of that crap and puts it in a more understanding light. I'm still kind of reeling from the shock because I only did the tests yesterday and didn't expect to pass with SUCH flying colours. Now the hard bit is to figure out what was nature and what was nurture, and if that even matters, and what on earth to do about it.

I work from home because normal employment just never worked for me, for many dyspraxic reasons, and also because they were crap jobs. I have no idea how I've made it this far with self-employment, it's doing ok after a few years but really I'm barely holding it together. And I am always missing deadlines that I could have easily kept. I'm just phenomenally distractible. I'm meant to be doing something else right now, instead of writing this, in my pajamas, having forgotten to have breakfast.

Emotionally and socially I'm all over the place. I have really good friends, and they're great people who I've known for years, but I'm still awkward with them most of the time. I don't know how much they see it, people often mistake me for confident because I'm colourful and I say inappropriate things from time to time. I struggle to keep up with the speed of conversation, or keep focus on it, and the brain freeze silence is often mistaken for being a good listener. These are the perks haha.

I've become very adept at hiding all these things most of the time, and compensating as best I can, but it's soooo frustrating and sometimes really embarrassing. It would be so great to laugh about these struggles with people who understand :D

By the way I'm generally not this talkative in real life! God I've written my life story on here. Sorry about that. It's been bottling up for 32 years! Thank you for letting me let it out, it's a massive relief.

I also love board games and sci-fi and cats :D
Might I suggest the Bag of Nails for a meet-up?

darkneo
Getting settled in
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2014 8:30 pm
Location: Bristol

Re: From Bristol

Post by darkneo » Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:07 am

Hi Steph

That sounds like a great idea..... I'm Steve... I live in Bristol as well so it would be great to meet up I also like Sci-fi.

Please get in contact

Steve.

Januaryjones
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Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:35 pm

Re: From Bristol

Post by Januaryjones » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:05 pm

Hi, I just came across this thread and am a new member to the site. I have not been diagnosed with dyspraxia but am looking into diagnosis - particularly somewhere in or near bristol and came across this thread.

Basically I've been trying to pass my driving test after years on and off and am feeling very frustrated at not passing & am on my 5/6th attempt in an automatic car. :-({|=
My ex always joked that I had some kind of disability because I always lose things, get lost & am quite clumsy but I just ignored the teasing ( perhaps having got used to it in my school days)
I was so frustrated with my last driving test 3 minors & one major I started to feel like something was wrong with me and started to look into my issues. (I took a right turn into a no entry in the last 5minutes of my test!) I struggle with left and right directions so was so focused on getting the right turn correct my brain didnt connect that I couldn't enter where the no entry signs were - the examiner said take the next 'available' right which confused me. Ive been thinking if I can get examiners to bear in my spacial awareness & left / right issues in mind I might pass.
Upon online research I came across dyspraxia and dyslexia for issues with left & right but found I ticked a lot of boxes for dyspraxia. I did a couple of online tests which included questions about my childhood and again found I ticked a lot of boxes & got feed back that I most likely have dyspraxia. Just reading this thread I feel I have a lot in common with everyone on here!

I dont know what to do next, I'm not sure what my Dr will think if I randomly visit & say hey I think I have dyspraxia! I'm quite keen on a private test but its expensive. Does anyone know of any places that do pre tests where they can look into if it is worth doing a test in the first place. I'm only self diagnosing myself & would really only want to pay for a test if it was likely to show I had dyspraxia. Also are there any down sides to having a diagnosis of dyspraxia - I'm in my 30s and work in education!

Thanks for reading :)

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1798
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: From Bristol

Post by Tom fod » Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:00 pm

Hi January and Welcome

Speaking to your GP is not necessarily a dead end. Do go armed with information, not all GPs are that familiar with the condition, so print out and take along those online tests results. You'll also need to cover the impact that this is having on your quality of life/meeting your potential. Unfortunately NHS provision is patchy so your GP may be forced to be quite 'imaginative' in looking for non-specific ways to help. You'll likely have to be determined, polite and persistent The Dyspraxia Foundation Website has helpful info on seeking assistance/diagnosis.

Disclosing to an employer is a frightening prospect for any of us as we quite naturally fear our employer will see such an admission as our being unable/unfit to fulfil our role. However, there are employers who recognise and value diversity and who are prepared to look into what reasonable adjustments are appropriate to enable them to get the best from and for their staff member.

There are driving instructors that look to assist people with disabilities/conditions to learn to drive, of course you will have to prove you are/can be a competent driver. Sorry this is not something I'm an expert in as I'm visually impaired so haven't had the fun.

All the best and don't be afraid to revert if you have further questions.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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