Hi,
I heard about dyspraxia a couple years ago whilst I was researching my son's struggles with fine and gross motor skills. He is now 11 1/2. He has learned to tie his shoes about 8 months ago, and it was great feeling for him, as it was real struggle for him to accomplish. He still has moments where he needs to go over it again, but he now seems to be more routine with it. I am about 90% certain that he has dyspraxia and am researching how to get him some help. He is currently homeschooled and does well, though he has some struggles He's ahead on some subjects, like history or geography, behind on other, like things that need multiple steps, like math or reading comprehension, and right on target for other subjects. Looking back, I see some similarities between he and I, and believe that this is something that I am also dealing with.
Some concerns I have as he gets older is his feeling of not fitting in. He doesn't have much interest in participating in some things that he's "not good at" but he gets bored very easily because he doesn't have some of the skills to do things his younger brother is partaking in, such puzzles, building Legos, or even team sports. He seems like he would like to be interested, but doesn't like the anxiety he feels that he doesn't get it as quick as others, which is his own personal perfectionism. He gets stuck on talking about a loop of subjects he's memorised, but he doesn't expand his repertoire. Things trip him up that others easily get, either physically or with comprehension, and he gets frustrated as he has a harder time of things. I encourage him, and stress to him that everyone is different, and we all have our strengths or things we struggle with, however, in the moment, when you're 11, it feels like you are the only one. I recall have many physical struggles as a youth, particularly with sports and coordination and I see that he has these same struggles, but they seem to bother him more as he is a boy. He's very sociable, for now, loves hanging out with friends, and all. He comes on a bit strong, as he's very chatty, so he is oftentimes shunned by "cooler" kids.
He is now feeling like he is not as intelligent as he "should be" because he takes longer with all sorts of puzzles, or he can't think of something to build with construction toys or Legos. He can't conceptualise something and make it happen. His handwriting is a struggle, though slowly improving. His words and numbers always float away and he cannot seem to write on the lines. I fear that these things he struggles with will affect his self-confidence even more as he ages. I was thinking we could work on some practising of these particularly skills.
How have others dealt with the struggles when they were younger? And what are some ways I can encourage him, especially when I know how he feels, even in a minor way? As he approaches his teen years, I want him to feel encouraged and hopeful, as it is a very trying time for a young person. Also, I plan to contact his doctor, as I am fairly convinced after research that this is something he may have. I only know of one other child that has dyspraxia and his parents have opted for private care, however, at the time I do not have these resources. I am not sure how or where to go for help, besides his doctor. What is something else I can do to help him with daily things?
Thank you, and any information would be greatly appreciated.
mamaduck
Hello--my son (and I) may have dypraxia
Moderator: Moderator Team
Re: Hello--my son (and I) may have dypraxia
Hi
I'm guessing you may not be from Great Britain and I apologise in not knowing much about home schooling or special educational needs other than from my own experiences in a British comprehensive school which were not great but I suppose I've done ok despite feeling marked out by the extra allowances I received 20+ years ago now and having to be dragged to see just about every kind of specialist.
I too struggled with maths, shoe laces, learning to ride a bike, handwriting, colouring in and generally being 'a bit different' given a general lack of interest in competitive sport. I'm a perfectionist and while at times I can and am persistent sometimes I would be better taking a step back to reconsider relative importance in the grand scheme of things
It may be worth looking into dyslexia and ADHD as these are sometimes/often co-occurring conditions. Comparing him to his brother or other boys his age is to my mind a little too subjective but I'm not in any way a specialist in any relevant fields.
You sound like you're doing a good job. I suppose I could suggest as well as guidance he does need freedom to explore and find alternative personal strategies for doing things where the normal/accepted way is not as viable for him. I don't know what private care might consist of but a good mentor to help him develop resilience when faced with harsh realities of life that we all face (dyspraxic or otherwise) is key. I wish 'cooler' could be redefined to mean accepting and inclusive but children are cruel.
Caged in Chaos by Victoria Biggs may be of interest and I'm sure there are other books too. Not sure if you've come across the Dyspraxia Foundation. Their website may be of interest but may be of more limited value to those outside the UK. There is quite a lot of stuff on You Tube and a Dyspraxic Teens Forum.
I'm guessing you may not be from Great Britain and I apologise in not knowing much about home schooling or special educational needs other than from my own experiences in a British comprehensive school which were not great but I suppose I've done ok despite feeling marked out by the extra allowances I received 20+ years ago now and having to be dragged to see just about every kind of specialist.
I too struggled with maths, shoe laces, learning to ride a bike, handwriting, colouring in and generally being 'a bit different' given a general lack of interest in competitive sport. I'm a perfectionist and while at times I can and am persistent sometimes I would be better taking a step back to reconsider relative importance in the grand scheme of things
It may be worth looking into dyslexia and ADHD as these are sometimes/often co-occurring conditions. Comparing him to his brother or other boys his age is to my mind a little too subjective but I'm not in any way a specialist in any relevant fields.
You sound like you're doing a good job. I suppose I could suggest as well as guidance he does need freedom to explore and find alternative personal strategies for doing things where the normal/accepted way is not as viable for him. I don't know what private care might consist of but a good mentor to help him develop resilience when faced with harsh realities of life that we all face (dyspraxic or otherwise) is key. I wish 'cooler' could be redefined to mean accepting and inclusive but children are cruel.
Caged in Chaos by Victoria Biggs may be of interest and I'm sure there are other books too. Not sure if you've come across the Dyspraxia Foundation. Their website may be of interest but may be of more limited value to those outside the UK. There is quite a lot of stuff on You Tube and a Dyspraxic Teens Forum.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)