Greetings

[MummyJ]

Hello

I'm 32 years old and undiagnosed. My son is nearly 5 and has suspected verbal dyspraxia with possible dyspraxia affecting other motor skills too. We're convinced it is what he has and are awaiting paediatric review.

I've been reading up about it and it was a bit of a shock how many dyspraxic traits I seem to have. It's explaining a lot to me and I feel like I'm getting a better understanding of myself. I've always felt a bit different and have a history of depression so it's helping to find what is likely an explanation for the difficulties I've had/have.

I've read it's very difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult and I do get by as I am (just not often elegantly lol) so I'm not sure if I'll try to get medical opinion. My priority is getting my son help.

I'd love to get to know people on here and increase my understanding of the condition.

[nickye]

Hi

Welcome to the forum. I hope it helps you as much as it's helped me over the past couple of years

I'm 46 now and got a diagnosis of dyspraxia last year, so it is never too late! I must admit I didn't get that far through the NHS and I did pay to go privately. I still find a lot of people don't know about dyspraxia, especially in the adults, but I think there is quite a lot of informal help out there, and I've found just knowing why I've had these difficulties is helping me a lot. Just ot know that there are other people around like me.

I know I often mention it on here but the Dyspraxia Foundation is really good, and there are other good things on the web ncluding facebook page for dyspraxia foundation and you tube videos by The TWo Dyspraxics (Matthew and Barbara).

I've found that my depression is miles better since the diagnosis. Even if you don't get a diagnosis as such, I'm sure finding out more will help you. I really understand your son is your priority, and I hope there is more help for children nowadays. But I think helping yourself and finding out more will also help your son. As I've had depression I think my family has suffered, and helping myself helps them.

I was always really negative about myself because I felt different. I dont' want to sound too gloomy as I have a good life and lots of friends. I also find that having dyspraxia gives you a lot of a patience and understanding, and this will definitely help your son. I've always found that other people's attitudes often cause more problem than the difficulty itself. I met someone the other day whose son has severe dyslexia and dyspraxia, but because he had a lot of help when young has just gone off to university.

Good luck with everything, and do look after yourself as well (although I don't always take my own advice!)

Nicky

[MummyJ]

Thank you for your kind welcome.

I'm so glad to have found out about the condition as it feels like a relief to have an explanation. There's been so many things I've found difficult and have struggled with compared to the average person.

Going right back to not being able to tie my shoelaces or ride a bike until quite a long time after my peers. I always dreaded going to gym as my coordination was terrible and I avoided learning how to drive until I was 26 and then it took me 1.5 years of lessons. Even now I have to do a running commentary in my head of what I'm doing when I'm driving so that I don't feel unsure and panicked.

Academically, I was considered by teachers to be clever at school. Anything practical was a lot harder though and exams rarely went well as they'd panic me.

I worked full time until I had my first child and I used to be so exhausted by the end of the week that I'd need to sleep a ridiculous amount at the weekend as though I was completely drained and none of my colleagues seemed to struggle that way. I was good at my job but looking back, it's like I had to put a lot more effort in than what it should have required.

I've always had to watch to see how others do a task as I struggle to do it with only verbal instruction. Then I have to try to memorise it in order to talk myself through how to do it. Instructions of more than a couple of parts are a struggle unless I write it down.

I have a habit of taking things completely literally. If something is ambiguous then I have to try to tell from social cues just what a person means so that's something that's became easier with age but it's not something that comes naturally. Similarly, sometimes I don't read social situations well and then worry that I've seemed annoying or irritating to someone.

It's a lot easier for me now as I am a full time mum to my kids. I'll return to the workplace when they are a bit older and I'll likely be in a low stress part time role and that will be a lot easier to handle. I currently take medication for anxiety and it's mostly under control. So I don't feel too much in need of help. Knowing that there's a likely reason for how I am is a massive help and so will places like this for support

It's a big relief that my son won't need to struggle through without help as there's so much more knowledge of it now. He reminds me so much of how I was as a child.