hi im new here

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dyspraxia gothic
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Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2019 4:32 am

hi im new here

Post by dyspraxia gothic » Thu Apr 11, 2019 4:54 am

half past 5 in the morning and i decide to join a forum for dyspraxic adults. why?

purely selfish reasons: i want to be better at being human. dyspraxia feels to me like a condition which impedes my ability to just exist. and when just existing takes double the effort, its far harder to also thrive and succeed.

however, i am not happy with just existing. i am not happy with "good enough". i am not satisfied with things being alright for me "considering i'm dyspraxic." i was diagnosed at university, when i went to be assesed for dyslexia. since then it has been a primary focus for my anger, frustration and resentment.

the list of things i struggle with is long, but because i'm relatively smart i manage to scrape by. as i said, though, this pisses me off no end. no attention or support is given to me and the areas i struggle with most, simply because i put in effort across the board and come out better at some things than others. it is then presumed that i am simply "only trying at things i like". um, no. i don't enjoy small talk or boring chit chat and yet i do it every damn day.

i am sorry, if this introduction comes across as exhausting: it is too early in the morning, i need to get to work. i am also sometimes resistant to things that are supposed to help. i want to be better. i am not here just for the sympathy and community, i actively want to ****ing crush this dyspraxia. wish the general medical community could be arsed to do a bit of research.

i will come back when i am feeling better
hi everyone x

Dyspenny
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Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:58 am

Re: hi im new here

Post by Dyspenny » Fri Apr 12, 2019 8:31 am

Hi all, I've just joined the forum this morning too - like you I'm looking around trying to find anything that will help me understand better 55 years of not understanding why everything feels so difficult - why I still struggle to be where 'Neurotypical' people of my own age are by now.

I'm waiting for an assessment but can now see that my lifelong issues are all related to DysXXX (add in your own variety here). I have long held frustration issues related to emotional, financial, work and social areas - although in some ways I'm talented and successful in my chosen field, its still an incredibly hard slog to keep going, with very little support / understanding from others who know what I'm going through. I still feel like an alien landed on this planet sometimes where I don't speak the language.

I have had a previous not so sure diagnosis of ADHD but this doesn't seem to cover a lot of my issues / challenges - in fact no single 'Dys' label seems to describe my exact experience, though reading others' description of early years / school experience was eerily familiar, so I am not alone.

I'd like to connect with others who are in the same situation and learn more about how they cope, what mechanisms they use, what support they got / get, how they adjusted to this life / diagnosis etc on a practical and emotional level.

Many thanks :P

Woody
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Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 12:03 pm

Re: hi im new here

Post by Woody » Fri Apr 12, 2019 1:38 pm

Hi all,

I'm a 59 year old undiagnosed dyspraxic (My GP is trying to help with this) writer, lecturer and academic coach. Yes, like all of you I'm brilliant at some stuff. Yes, I can write a novel but I can't fill in a tax return form or Student ILP without multiple typos and messy scribbles and forgetting what I wrote 2 seconds ago and have lost teaching jobs because of this (I'm probably dyslexic too and can't organise my finances to save my life). I've been supporting a student with her Educational Psychology thesis, and what do you know, I read what might have been my own school case study over and over. I think my adult son has the condition too, and I'm beginning to see it in one of my grandchildren; at least his school-teachers won't slap him for trancing out like I used to. Well they say knowledge is power; realising my problem can at least inform theirs. Very interested to read your stories; it feels like coming home. Thank you for sharing, and thank you, kind website hosts, for being there.
p.s. I find walking helps.

Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: hi im new here

Post by Tom fod » Fri Apr 12, 2019 10:16 pm

Hi Dyspraxia Gothic, Dyspenny and Woody and welcome to our oasis. Nice to see three new members as what with multiple closed Facebook Groups we're quite old stool tech on here with no liking option, we have been a bit of a backwater for a while.

I guess I would say I'm relatively mildly affected though my Dyspraxicness often begs to differ on that and I have and do suffer some crushing bad days. Sadly because it is a complex condition it is regrettably something that can't be cured or 'grown out of' so in many ways you have to outmanoeuvre it. My sense of humour helps me and I've likened it to having a pesky goblin who shadows me and try to mess things up. some of the time I can outmanoeuvre him with humour and good grace, other times he reduces me to a spitting snarling beast not unlike himself.

Sometimes it's good to come here too offload your day or weeks frustrations to people who won't judge you and who understand something of how you feel and can offer solidarity and even suggest a different way of viewing things. I've always set myself high standards and am won't to beat myself up if I can't maintain or realise them. I first arrived here myself in 2011 whilst looking for info.The Forum was actually created back in 2006!

There's a huge degree of variation in how people are affected and the success of their coping and not coping strategies. There are crossovers with other Neurodiversity or related/co-occurring conditions such as, but certainly not limited to or necessarily the same as: Dyslexia, ADHD, NVLD, ASD SPD Hypermobility. Getting formal recognition or confirmation as an adult is rarely straightforwards and private companies such as Dyspraxia UK (not to be confused with the Dyspraxia Foundation) offer assessments costing in some cases upwards of £750.

Woody
I certainly enjoy a good walk myself.

The movement is growing so do check out my friend Pete's online magazine site Dyspraxia and Life for equally useful info and inspiration.
Last edited by Tom fod on Fri Apr 12, 2019 11:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: More comprehensive response
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Dyspenny
New member - welcome them!
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Joined: Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:58 am

Re: hi im new here

Post by Dyspenny » Sun Apr 14, 2019 6:10 pm

Thanx for the welcome Woody. Yes I find walking really helps me too - I feel better able to cope, and being out in nature is my medicine...

I'm not sure quite where to turn to get help, but hopefully the assessment will provide some sign-posts....,it's difficult to admit to some of my issues as a women I have learned to conform and hide a lot of them, which has produced a lot of shame that I can't do what others apparently easily can. My mother is ASD I believe and very badly dyspraxia, my Dad was ADHD with some signs of dyslexia, so I am probably a mash-up of both, this means that my motor skills are quite good in some areas - I am a good dancer but rubbish in other areas - typing this message has meant me re-typing practically every other word as the right letters all come out in the wrong order, just like Eric Morecambe i note classic Andre Previn sketch where he's playing Grieg's piano concerto and all wrongly and he says to Andre Previn - I'm playing all the right notes, just not in the right order! Pretty much sums up my life so far.

Has anyone joined any decent adult local meet up / support groups? I'm in the South East....be interested to know if they were worth joining, helpful, fun or supportive.....

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2095
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: hi im new here

Post by Tom fod » Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:14 pm

Hi Penny

Woody? You've passed the Dyspraxia test it was I who responded to welcome the three of you in one post (so my own fault in part) 8-)

Sadly it seems all too many support groups are for parents or younger persons aged up to around 25. The Dyspraxia Foundation (DF) occasionally hold conferences and hold an annual AGM in London. It's worth searching this forum and googling your hometown + dyspraxia support group and seeing if you get any results. I'm guess the DF would be able to enlighten you, but they might understandingly want you to join.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Andrew_S_Hatton
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Re: hi im new here

Post by Andrew_S_Hatton » Mon Apr 22, 2019 3:10 pm

Pleaase respond to the replies those who have had responses here - let us keep things going.

I am sorry that we have so few exchanges.

I too sometimes find myself writing posts in the early hours of the morning.

one of the good things I like about fora like these is that theya re always open.

So thanks for the posts, I have tried to reply to all unanswered posts this afternoon and am sorry folk did not get replies. If you can reply to others as well, thank you very much.

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