Actual help

Getting assessed for your dyspraxia, getting help, disability allowance etc.

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Sozzem
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Actual help

Post by Sozzem » Mon Mar 05, 2018 12:38 pm

Is there anything I can do or take that will actually help?
People have reccomended I apply for pip but that’s not going to make me feel better if that makes sense.
Is there anything that I can ask a doctor for even if just to feel a little more focused and stop me day dreaming all the time?
It’s casuing me issues at work and I’m my relationship b cause I just phase out all the time and it’s taking me down a dark road because I’m just beginning to resent myself because I’m my mind it feels like I should be able to just decide to be focused but I can’t.

Tom fod
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Re: Actual help

Post by Tom fod » Mon Mar 05, 2018 4:33 pm

Finding help specific to dyspraxia is difficult and getting the right help for you is difficult in respect that you need to be able to communicate what you need though you/your employer could seek advice from Access to Work. Most of us find that the more stressed we are the worse our performance is so it may be worthwhile speaking with your manager to see if there is any way to help you stay focused? is it particular tasks? Is your work role clearly defined enough or sufficiently stimulating? Most of us find that the more stressed we are, the worse our performance is so it may be worthwhile speaking to your manager to see if there is any way to help you stay focused? is it particular tasks? Is your work role clearly defined enough?

A doctor is the only one who can advise on what might be appropriate medication wise There is often a crossover with ADD /ADHD. If you qualify for PIP, the extra money in theory might help (if you have money worries),Though it depends on how you feel about making a claim. They tend to say no first time so it is worth appealing if that is a road you want/need or choose to go down?

Hope that helps. It is worth looking in our Work, Day to day Living and Getting Help and Assessment sections,
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Sozzem
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Re: Actual help

Post by Sozzem » Tue Mar 06, 2018 10:20 am

Hi Tom,


Thanks again for your reply!
I work as an implementation specialist at a software company so it’s extremely hard for me to organise myself and not get distracted, my pain points, mostly are..

1. I could plan my day but a client will likely call or email with something urgent or my manager will need me to jump on an issue - this makes life really hard because I’ll stop doing what I was setting up, in order to respond to the new clients urgent email, so now I have to sort the new issue but not forget that I’m still on the first clients server and that I need to get back to that after, but then o get asked to do something. Sooner or later I end up with so many things I need to do that I can’t remember where o am with any and then I’ll just panic and do non of it.

2. Time
Where the hell does it go?! When I get really stressed out I doodle a lot, it’s the only way I’ve found to think about something else until the stress has gone but then all the sudden it’s been an hour and it doesn’t feel like it’s been long.

3. Compulsions
Do you ever get it where like you know you need to do something else but there’s something On your head and it feels like you have to do that? Like I could be about to call a customer but then I say dream for a second about something and then I feel like I can’t carry on working until I’ve either doodled what I thought about or until I’ve completed whatever task it is I’ve just made up in my head.

My jobs is stimulating and stuff and I really enjoy it, I’m just becoming more aware of how I am by the day and my sense of self resentment it going through the roof to the point that some days i wake up and have really dark thoughts about myself and feel like evrybthing is too much, like yesterday for example which led me here in the first place. But then today I woke up and I feel really positive, I hate that every day I’m either happy or depressed and it’s lkke I have no control over it

Tom fod
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Re: Actual help

Post by Tom fod » Tue Mar 06, 2018 11:26 pm

Multiple demands on our time are difficult and finding the point where we can say No or No but I can look later are extremely difficult and the most demanding clients who are most vocal are worst. Do you find yourself staying till stupid o’clock in the evenings and whilst you’re grateful to have a job you can have some days/weeks where you think this is killing me or is this how it’s meant to be?

I think we need to be mindful of our personal thresholds and work life balance but I think we fear being seen as not pulling our weight even though we often take on far more than we should.

I find I too will find distractions to put off tasks I fear will turn out to be difficult, like calling Mr, Mrs or Miss Awkward to ask for clarification when you’re expecting he’ go off on one about something or dreading yet another phone call as you’re the last one left at 3.30 and just want to get home.

Is this something where your manager has flagged up a need to do better? Is your manager Dyspraxia Aware?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Sozzem
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Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:31 am

Re: Actual help

Post by Sozzem » Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:48 am

Hi Tom,

There’s something so strange that a complete stranger completely gets me! Absolutely what you’re saying 100%
It’s so refreshing for someone else to have the same experiences in life haha.
My manager is also my friend and in my appraisal, mos Tod my points to improve on are essentially dyspraxia symptoms but everyone is aware they just don’t fully understand it if that makes sense. I don’t get any grief but I do get micro managed now and then which can be frustrating but it helps at times

Tom fod
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Re: Actual help

Post by Tom fod » Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:37 pm

I think it is massively important for anyone to have a good working relationship with management as if this breaks down or is non existent you're probably better off walking.

I work best when I'm allowed freedom and flexibility but also my managers have an open door policy where I'm not afraid to go over and say can you just confirm I'm going about x the right way, without the manager sighng oh no not again I told you to do . .

I've struggled where my responsibilities were not clearly defined as I strive for excellence and chastise myself if I perceive that I have not made sufficient progress. It's odd, but sometimes, "good enough but by X time is all they want". I'm very much a frustrated (and often frazzled) perfectionist.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

allesandro
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Re: Actual help

Post by allesandro » Thu Mar 08, 2018 2:47 am

I totally agree with Tom about the importance of a good working relationship with management. And I agree that if you don't have one you might as well walk. I worked for myself from 1999-2017, but recently retired from private practice. I started a job with a horrible boss who was very intolerant to say the least. Well, I got better with my job performance, but by then it was too late she had already written me off. But I would say I should have left by November at the latest, because by then she had become pedantic, rude, and offensive. When I finally brought that up the day I resigned or effectively had been fired she didn't even remember any of the times she had been abusive. Anyway, the point is, don't do what I did. Don't stay too long in a situation where you don't have the support of management. If you have a rude and demeaning boss--quit; get out of there, it's not worth the assault on your self esteem. Find something that is compatible with your interests and talents and a workplace that isn't going to be perfectionistic and detail oriented. Find a workplace that appreciates your skills and talents above and beyond the small mistakes that you may make, or the extra time it might take for you to learn something new.
As far as meds are concerned Tom is correct: only a physician can really help you with that but find a qualified one. See either a psychiatrist who is knowledgeable about neurological disorders or go to a neurologist. As a therapist, I have treated many people with ADD ( I'm not a physician) and many people struggle to find the right meds that help them. It's often a process of trial and error with regard to meds, dosage, and the health of the particular patient. But know that there are options. There are stimulant meds and non stimulant meds as well as neuroepinephrine reuptake inghibitors, you need a good relationship with a qualified and trusted physician with whom you have confidence and feel comfortable.

Sozzem
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Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:31 am

Re: Actual help

Post by Sozzem » Thu Mar 08, 2018 5:17 pm

Absolutely agree with you guys. It’s made a massive difference for me working at such an accepting company. I’ve always struggled to keep jobs in the past and have been accused of using my difficulties as an excuse and it was horrible because I want nothing more than to be the best at what I do.
I’ve booked an appointment with my doctor on Friday next week I’m just unsure right now what to actually say. I’m really awkward about explaining this stuff to people Especially if I don’t know them if that makes sense. But the it’s effecting my mental health lately so I’m desperate to do something about it.
I just don’t want to underplay it out of pride and set fobbed off basically lol.
How do you guys deal with friends and stuff? Like I have friends I can turn to but I don’t feel like I have a best friend if that makes sense it’s more than I’m tolerated as a token part of any group. Like at work I get along with everyone and have no enemies but I’m never invited to stuff unless it’s like a whole department thing. Just feel very excluded.
Sorry I’m ranting a lot! I’ve never had anyone understand me like you guys do and I guess it’s nice not to feel so alone, usually feel like I’m less than everyone else it’s nice to feel like I’m the same as some people

Tom fod
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Re: Actual help

Post by Tom fod » Fri Mar 09, 2018 8:44 am

Not a rant at all. if you need to offload you can do that here. I sense that your friends and/or colleagues must value you, but as is sadly all too common, you/we struggle to see that a lot of the time due to self~esteem?

If you organised a night or meal out to celebrate a birthday who would you count on as being likely to want to come along?

I think managers need to be aware of difficulties we might face but they need to avoid being nit picky and appreciate we may take slightly longer but we are no less capable of delivering a high quality result in the right environment.

When you go to your Gp take along a short list of what is bothering you and have some examples and idea of how you would like them to try to help. If possible take some information re Dyspraxia as not all GPS are very aware of what it is.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

allesandro
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Re: Actual help

Post by allesandro » Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:09 pm

I agree that managers need to be less nit picky with us and more accepting of the fact that it takes us longer to complete tasks. But where are those managers? In my experience, they take the stance that time is money, why should I employ you when I could employ someone who will work much more efficiently and get more done during the course of a day, which would give me more bang for my buck. I have found this true even in nonprofit agencies I've worked for. But then again, I'm in the US, I don't know how it is in the UK. My brother-in-law worked in London for two years in the early 90's and said things are more relaxed there than here from his perspective; the employees he was managing were very resistant to his attempts to implement American 'work your fingers to the bone' policies. I don't know if that is generally true in the UK or just his personal experience.

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