Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Getting assessed for your dyspraxia, getting help, disability allowance etc.

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mollysue
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Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Post by mollysue » Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:47 am

Hi I'm a parent of a 19 yr old with dyspraxia and social anxiety. She is attending college for the forth year and is comfortable with what is expected. It's just things still remain difficult lots of support needed she wont pay in shops. Loves routine hates change. I'm just wondering is help and support still available and an option despite her age. I feel like since she left school we have just had to get on with it. I worry how her life is going to turn out.

Tom fod
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Re: Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Post by Tom fod » Thu Aug 03, 2017 6:26 pm

Hi Mollysue

If you want to tell her about this Forum we'd be pleased to welcome her here. (it's quiet here but you will get a responses.

If you wish, we can even remove your post and my response, that is, if you feel you'd rather she not know you were ever here.

You/she are probably best trying to seek help for the anxiety. Sadly there is little (if any) Dyspraxia specific help out there. If you've already tried her GP/Health Services? Do her college have a Welfare Service that can offer counselling/Talking Therapies Such as CBT or Mindfulness to better avoid panic stations.

We tend to have long memories and have a tendency to overthink and panic. Feeling uncertain can bring all our fears to the surface hence probably quite a few of us find comfort in our routines.

There is also some Dyspraxia related content on You Tube including (but not limited to . . https://www.youtube.com/user/krystalxforever/featured

The Dyspraxia Foundation should also be able to offer useful ideas and they run a Helpline. I hope this is helpful but feel please do feel free to ask more if needed.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

mollysue
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:34 am

Re: Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Post by mollysue » Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:36 pm

Hi thank you for your reply. My daughter has had CBT through her doctor. At the moment she is no longer having it as she had so many sessions and felt she had had enough. Its hard though as much as I am supporting her, you feel a sense of not knowing what to do and where to turn :(
My daughter is on her I phone most of the time listening to music and also draws on her I pad everyday. We have suggested driving lessons but she is not ready. What's the best advice? ? She is not independent she wont cook or anything like that.

Tom fod
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Posts: 1926
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Location: SW UK

Re: Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Post by Tom fod » Fri Aug 04, 2017 10:06 am

I can understand why you're concerned and if you look at posts on the forum you'll find examples of other peoples' similar situations. Have you talked to her about these concerns? I suspect she shares them but is maybe using avoidance tactics as she feels incapable and afraid

Does she have siblings/friends who she is comparing herself to/being compared to?. This likely heightens her anxiety and the challenge is for her to feel she can (and wants) to break out of this cycle. I think you can only try to encourage her so much before it becomes counterproductive.

Sorry this is not a more helpful answer. I don't reallyhave the personal life experiences to better respond but hoping one or some of the other members here can offer some helpful thoughts.

Does she know about this forum and would she join?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

mollysue
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:34 am

Re: Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Post by mollysue » Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:46 pm

Hi I don't know if she knows about the forum and don't think she would join. Do people with Dyspraxia tend to have issues with weight?

Tom fod
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Posts: 1926
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Post by Tom fod » Sat Aug 05, 2017 6:31 pm

Hi again

That's not an easy one to answer, we come in all shapes and sizes. I don't know if any direct links have been found or proven. As we tend to be a bit clumsy, though there is definitely more to the condition than just that, it is quite common that some of us are not exactly sporty which probably does contribute in some ways. Because the condition is a developmental difference that occurred in utero, people can also have various other co-occurring conditions.

The Dyspraxia Foundation have an increasingly active young members wing and people like Krystal (see link in my other post) have You Tube Channels, Blogs, Vlogs, Facebook pages and meet ups etc. The Foundation also run Workshops for adults. I've not been to any myself but a few people here have.

Re joining the forum, If people want to post questions or otherwise add content themselves, then registration is required. However, I'm aware there are members here who have joined but never posted and probably quite a few who just read the posts in the public areas of the forum and have yet to formally register. I guess this kind of forum is 'a bit old hat' these days and as we're often quite a reticent bunch in general the forum has in many respects quite a slow pace for responses. I like to respond promptly to cries for help as to me that feels important, though I unfortunately don't have answers for everything.

In my last post I said "I don't really have the personal life experiences to better respond" what I meant was, I was unable to answer as fully as I might since I'm single, have yet to be a parent and don't drive. (I'm also visually impaired). That said, despite the difficulties being dyspraxic brings, I've been fortunate that I've been able to harness the positives including determination and hard work to forge a career, run my own (relatively chaotic) household and I've also travelled to various parts of the world generally on small group holidays. Not knowing about or understanding my dyspraxic self meant my teens, twenties and up to my mid thirties were/felt pretty difficult/miserable at times. One of the difficulties I find I have is feeling the need to try and explain myself and struggling to do so. Unsurprisingly this makes us prone to depression, anxiety etc.

Primarily we're a support group for adults who have the condition. it can feel a bit awkward responding to parents, spouses and partners, as effectively we're talking about a potential member 'behind their back' and we'd ideally like them to join so they can contribute and ask the questions directly themselves. That said, many parents discover that they may also be dyspraxic themselves.

All the best
Last edited by Tom fod on Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1926
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Not sure what to do feel isolated and alone

Post by Tom fod » Mon Aug 07, 2017 8:44 am

Ps

I had some sessions of CBT when I was struggling at work and before I learned about and was able to accept my dyspraxic self. I found it did work for me but at least with me I find I have to make a conscious effort to employ the techniques to keep myself from sinking deeply into low points. I found the concept of countering negative feelings with evidence to the contrary was difficult to invest in at times.

Please reassure your daughter she is not worthless and that she can hold her head up high as being different can be an asset.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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