Growing up dyspraxic?

Getting assessed for your dyspraxia, getting help, disability allowance etc.

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fearthecuteness
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Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby fearthecuteness » Tue Nov 17, 2015 4:02 pm

I think I may have dyspraxia but I want to get an opinion from other people who have it before I go speak to my GP about this. Here's my life story:
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During my childhood I pretty much became known by my family as the kid who was always clumsy and day dreaming. I used to day dream a lot and get distracted easily which made learning in school very hard for me. Due to this I fell behind in class so much and I remember for a year having extra help with reading and writing. My hand writing, to this day, has always been terrible. No matter how hard I try I can never make it neat. With being clumpsy I still have the occasional times now where my plate of food (or at least my cutlery) will end up on the floor. Luckily that doesn't happen too often now but I used to be terrible for carrying anything around or walking/running without tripping up. I've been told since I was a child that I also run "funny".
I have very poor posture and during my time at high school people would make fun of me behind my back because of how I would walk or run. They even made fun of me because of how I would talk about the same things a lot, somewhat repeating the same things a lot. Even now I will say something to someone and quite often they will reply with "Yeah, you've told me that before". Due to things like this I ended up with no friends in high school. Because of this reason and because I've always fell behind at school I gave up even trying and ended up with a lot of Ds and Es in my GCSEs. I was also never any good at any kind of sports and I think the hardest sports for me were ones involving jumping and I can't jump far or high (I litterally couldn't do a single hurdle for example). My mum actually took me to a GP to see if I could be diagnosed with it but they never diagnosed me. Although that was when I was quite young (about 6 maybe) and I've heard it's hard to diagnose young children.

I have always been terrible with arriving places in time and my parents always nagged at me growing up for "having no conecpt of time". This has always got me into trouble whenever I've worked somewhere. Working has always been hard for me too. My first job was at a factory. I quit after one day because of how repeitive it was and my brain couldn't handle it at all. With my next job I could never get all of my work finished in time (due to distraction again) and I got demoted to a job there with less hours and less to do. The job after that I found really difficult for the fact I was on my feet constatly. I worked there for nine months and still couldn't get used to being on my feet all day. I was also suffering from depression at the time so I took a lot of sick days off. When the boss called me in for an assessment I found it too difficult to talk to him about face to face so I got my sister to write a letter about it and I gave that to him. I got my sister to write it out for me because I've never been any good at expressing myself, especially when it comes to emotions. There's a lot of times too where I'm just saying a simple sentence and I will slightly mispronounce a few words or mumble without realising which makes me hard to understand sometimes. Another problem I also have with work is following even simple instructions. Most of the time when people will give me instructions to do something I haven't done before I usually have to go back and ask them to repeat everything again.

I am now 25 and living at home with my partner and my five year old son. I find a lot of adult life difficult because I find things like everyday tasks pretty difficult. Because of this I can never seem to keep my flat clean which can get me feeling very anxious (among other things). My partner also comes back from work and gets annoyed because I haven't done anything all day. I always plan to get this place tidy but something ends up happening like I get distracted or I just don't have enough time (I'm pretty slow at doing things). Even when I do get this place tidy it actually looks more like an organised mess then anything. I also get stressed out easily with little things and will end up shouting at my son quite a bit which I hate doing! Even when we were moving to this place we had to set back the moving date another week because I was finding packing too stressful. I find it hard to cook too. I can just about do ready meals but with my lack of concept of time things end up burnt sometimes. I've tried making my own food before but I found even the easy recipes hard to follow.

If you took the time to read all that then I'm so sorry it was so long but I really appreciate you reading all of that. As you can see, I've spent pretty much my whole life trying to find myself since I've never belonged with the "normal people". I just really wanna find out where I belong. I hope that maybe if I do have dyspraxia then it might actually help me find ways to cope with my daily life too. I also want to hopefully go to college to retake my english and maths GCSEs so it can help me find a new job easier.

So what are your opinions on this. I would really love some advice.

fearthecuteness
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby fearthecuteness » Wed Nov 18, 2015 5:13 pm

Can anyone out there please give me an opinion? :(

Tom fod
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby Tom fod » Wed Nov 18, 2015 7:50 pm

Hi
I've noted your posting and was considering a comprehensive response and will do this just as soon as I can. Been a mad few days workwise so if anyone else has any ideas please feel free to respond in interim
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby Tom fod » Wed Nov 18, 2015 11:35 pm

Hi and welcome

While i can't say 'yes you do' in a professional capacity it would be worth speaking to your GP. However as you may have seen from other posts here obtaining a formal diagnosis as an adult via the NHS is seldom easy and GPs may not know who or where to refer you due to patchy/non existent provision.

The Dyspraxia Foundation have a website with a section about getting diagnosis and what info to go armed with when you go to see your GP. You could take what you've written above as it's a good starting point. The Foundation also have a helpline which you can find the number for on here.

If your efforts with the NHS fall flat and you do enrol at college they may be able able to help get you assessed.

I think the trick with cooking is to gain an understanding of the basic principles/theory and try to take it a step at a time. It doesn't always matter if things aren't done precisely in the exact order/quantities. With your tidying try to set your target to one task at a time rather than going aaargggrhhh everything needs doing and ending up doing little that can be detected later. I'm guessing your move packing was stressing because you were trying to do it perfectly but the chaos took over. I find it's important to try and maintain a feeling of control but there is so much I/we just can't and dyspraxia loves to be a spanner in the works. Sometimes leaving something gives it a chance to sort itself out (or someone else to) or it gives you a chance to think of a solution that works for you personally.

If you have any more questions please feel free to ask. I can't guarantee someone will reply within 24 , 48hrs or even a week or more sometimes. It's a case of the right person with an appropriate idea/knowledge seeing your post at the right time.

Please let us know how you get on and do have a good look around at other's posts and the responses provided.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

mattie
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby mattie » Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:07 am

I agree with Tom re: a formal diagnosis. It's more than possible that you have dyspraxia - your symptoms do seem to fit perfectly. I guess only a professional diagnostician or OT can answer your question as to whether you have it or not, but your description does indicate it may be worth pursuing a form diagnosis - if, indeed, you deem it worthwhile (see my own opinion on this below).

I am not generally a big fan of formal diagnoses under normal circumstances. I think labelling oneself can be quite damaging and encourage a mode of thinking which results in a negative type of self-fulfilling prophesy (i.e. I am dyspraxic, therefore I am socially inept/would be unable to do X/Y/Z). I also don't think it necessarily makes others more understanding of the difficulties we face, especially in the case of more mild/moderate forms of dyspraxia. People will still, in most cases, be very judgemental and not make allowances for any differences. Furthermore, dyspraxia may be deemed a negative by many employers, even though anti-disability discrimination laws are designed to protect employees against any discrimination.

That doesn't, of course, mean that formal diagnoses are not worthwhile. If you would derive some kind of benefit from getting a formal diagnosis then I think you have to weigh it against any negatives. In your particular case, if you want to go back to college it may be worthwhile in terms of the amount of extra support you'd get. I was diagnosed from a very young age, so I never really had a choice on whether or not to seek out a diagnosis. I would have done anyway given the amount of extra help and support that is provided throughout school and uni...I needed it! If you are just curious about whether your 'differences' are because you are, in fact, dyspraxic, then I suggest you consider all of the above and ask yourself whether a formal diagnosis can ever provide the answers and assurances that you seek.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.

fearthecuteness
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby fearthecuteness » Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:47 pm

Thanks everyone for your replies. I will have more of a look around here and the dyspraxia foundation website to see about getting assessed. Does anyone know if the phone number for the helpline is free?

Tom fod wrote:I find it's important to try and maintain a feeling of control but there is so much I/we just can't and dyspraxia loves to be a spanner in the works. Sometimes leaving something gives it a chance to sort itself out (or someone else to) or it gives you a chance to think of a solution that works for you personally.


I can think of a perfect example for this. A while ago now we had a group of people round mine for the evening/night and my partner cooked dinner for everyone. The next morning my kitchen was in that much of a mess I felt like I had no control over the situation whatsoever so I took one look at it and had an anxiety attack. My partner had to take care of it after being at work all day. Poor thing.

@Mattie Yeah I get what you mean. Despite all that though, it would be good to know what's wrong with me. Since of course I went for an assessment when I was young I've spent my whole life wondering if dyspraxia is the reason there's something wrong with me. It would just be good to put my mind at ease. If I know if this is the reason then I can do more research into this and hopefully I will know the best way to control my daily life. if that makes sense. Either way, it would just be nice at least to put my mind at ease after 20 (or slightly less) years.

Tom fod
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby Tom fod » Thu Nov 19, 2015 7:08 pm

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4524

Helpline is unfortunately not freephone and can only be called during business hours

Try not to think of it always as something wrong. We`re different but not necessarily unable to achieve through hard work and the flexibility to be allowed to use a different more suitable for us approach
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

fearthecuteness
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby fearthecuteness » Thu Nov 19, 2015 7:54 pm

That's a shame. I only have a mobile too so who knows how much that'll cost me.

Yeah, I'm sorry if that came out offensive to anyone. I guess because of how people have treated me it's just been put into my head that there's something wrong with me. But you are definitely right about the being different part and being able to achieve things in our own ways. :)

mattie
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby mattie » Thu Nov 19, 2015 8:49 pm

I totally understand about your need to find answers. When I was a teen there was less known about dyspraxia, so only the physical aspect was ever mentioned.

Tom is right, dyspraxia has many advantages too. For instance, many of us are smarter than average because we are able to fixate/obsess about certain topics/things.

Best of luck. :)

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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby Tom fod » Mon Nov 23, 2015 12:11 am

fearthecuteness wrote:That's a shame. I only have a mobile too so who knows how much that'll cost me.

Yeah, I'm sorry if that came out offensive to anyone. I guess because of how people have treated me it's just been put into my head that there's something wrong with me. But you are definitely right about the being different part and being able to achieve things in our own ways. :)


Really no offence taken at way you feel. I'd say I was more offended by fact that you've been treated in such a way by certain people that you feel it is all your fault.

Calls to helpline shd fall within inclusive minutes but check T&Cs for your packsge. I believe you may also be able to email. Alternatively do you have a friend or relative who wd let you call from their land line?
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Tomtom
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby Tomtom » Mon Nov 23, 2015 3:36 am

Mattie's point about the self-fulfilling prophecy is important. Don't let any of your perceived shortcomings define you, or they will lead to greater anxiety when you are in a situation that forces you to acknowledge them, instead; think of them as parts of you that have more room for growth. Personally, If I ever feel like something may be beyond me, I remember the hook from Nas' song 'Ether' (not a family friendly song by the way) which essentially says 'I will not lose', and I remind myself that if I really focus, then I can overcome whatever obstacle is confronting me :)

fearthecuteness
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby fearthecuteness » Mon Dec 07, 2015 1:21 pm

Tom fod wrote:
fearthecuteness wrote:Calls to helpline shd fall within inclusive minutes but check T&Cs for your packsge. I believe you may also be able to email. Alternatively do you have a friend or relative who wd let you call from their land line?


That'd be great if I can email instead of calling. I'd prefer that for the fact that I do better with emailing then phoning. I find with phone calls I always forget what people have said (I can't focus on listening to the conversation and writing things down at the same time), forget things I wanted to say to people or never say things the way I want to.
Of course, the only downside would be waiting for a responce because I don't like that either. Are they ok with people talking on behalf of you? I'm thinking maybe I could get my mum to speak to them as I want her to be with me when I go to the GP anyway.

fearthecuteness
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby fearthecuteness » Mon Dec 07, 2015 1:25 pm

Tomtom wrote:Mattie's point about the self-fulfilling prophecy is important. Don't let any of your perceived shortcomings define you, or they will lead to greater anxiety when you are in a situation that forces you to acknowledge them, instead; think of them as parts of you that have more room for growth. Personally, If I ever feel like something may be beyond me, I remember the hook from Nas' song 'Ether' (not a family friendly song by the way) which essentially says 'I will not lose', and I remind myself that if I really focus, then I can overcome whatever obstacle is confronting me :)


That's a good idea. I started thinking maybe I should start finding ways to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones. A song is a good way to remember things too. :)

fearthecuteness
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby fearthecuteness » Thu Feb 11, 2016 11:26 am

Well I have a phone appointment next week with a doctor. I think it's a therapist that they're going to refer me to after the phone appointment but can't really remember to be honest. Hoping I will get some help. :)

Tomtom
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Re: Growing up dyspraxic?

Postby Tomtom » Sat Feb 13, 2016 11:25 am

Good luck, sometimes just having a label for your problems can be a big relief for some people, hope it all goes well :)


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