Wondering if it ever gets better

[orcboyphil]

Hello, I'm new here and I expect everybodies seen this topic a thousand times already.

I've been statemented for as long as I can remember. I've always had the problem of crreating friendships, I'm always shy, heck a friends wife thinks I hate her because I ever talk to her. Though I have tried explaing to him I get akward around people i don't really know, i'm not sure if he understands.

I've been unemployed for most of the last three years, that was til a few months ago when I got a job. That lasted 4 weeks, the manager said I was too uncommunicative when I was let go. I'm 29 in 9 days time. I also loose my flat in a months time unless i pay the arrears. Impossible even if I used every penny from my benefits. I've never had any financial control, I've always been a spendthrift and I know that thats my own fault not some immaturity in brain development.

I found out I was type 1 diabetic almost three years ago and really I'm highly suprised I've not suffered any comlications yet. I constantly forget to take my medication (Symavastin designed to control colestral, one taken before bed) or forget I've taken it, get worried and then o'd (Insulin shot each meal time and a shot around 10pm). The shot at 10 I often forget leaving it til around midnight or even latter or again forgetting I've taken it and giving myself a double dose.

I've had people try and seek me help before but I've always been told I don't qualify, I'm not disabled enougth to get any help, yet I find everyday living more of a challenge than I can manage. I've got nobody at the moment to help me, dad died from Angina when I was eight, mum died from cancer 9 years ago. My aunt took me in at the time but she died 3 years ago (same day as I was diagnosed with diabeties and sent into hospital). She was the one who looked for any type of help for me, but was told I wasn't disabled enougth.

I'm currently seriously depressed, I really can't see life getting any better, and I hate the thought of life on the dole being just a burden. This is proberly why I'm too ashamed to try and seek help. Or it might just be the thought of going and telling somebody I dont know all of my problems face to face. It might seem stupid that I can do it on an inpersonable message board, but I think its easier this way. I'll proberly never meet the people I talk to here so its easier to blurt out all this crap.

[Osymandus]

WEll first a huge hug for being so amazing and brave . Second , there is help and as your unemployed as wel lyo qualify for many different things , the jobcentre im with have been helping out a great deal with Disability advisers and as i have also been signed off for about the last 10 months with depression help and understanding . It is there . Which area are you in ?

Also speak to your local GP and self refer yourself (if your not already ) for psychicatrict help . Being Dyspraxic inhibits our ability to plan and execute it if we don't have the motivation there (and there maybe other reasons i know mine is as well ) theses need to be looked at .

If yo uneed any other help NHS wise Peter oh help could help ??
Also http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/ there should be one in your area , they will understand and help point you locally .

hugs