So, I saw the Neurologist today... Advice please!!!

[Ldyalb]

- neurologist says I'm neurologically sound, I have weak reflexes but not weak enough to fall into the abnormal range. he says I'm in good health.

- he wants me to have a brain scan, he agrees I have learning difficulties and he thinks this will be due to faulty brain wiring, he said they can't really pick that up in a scan but he'd be interested to see if there's any abnormaities in my brain's development, i.e. one side more developed than the other. He says it's highly unlikely that there will be much difference as if I can get a degree then my brain is probably very well developed and I'm just wired up differently to most people. I'm seeing him again on 29th July and will have a brain scan sometime between now and then.

- he says technically he could diagnose me with dyspraxia, he says he's done so before for someone who self-diagnosed themselves like I did as he saw they were intelligent enough to have done their research but he's reluctant to as he feels that a diagnosis may make it harder for me in the workplace. He says he definitely feels that there is something preventing me from learning how to co-ordinate myself etc and that he doens't know much about dyspraxia but feels that would come under the category. He is also considering referring me to a psychologist for further assessment.

- he said he's prepared to give me a letter stating I have learning difficulties to help me pass tests for graduate jobs (i.e. get extra time) but he feels that's a bad idea as he feels I should try and find a job in something else - he says I'm failing the tests for a reason. But that doesn't help me - if I'm not going to get a graduate job I may as well have stayed at Peacocks and not gone to uni, i'd be in the same place as now, maybe better as I'd probs be a trainee manager by now.

- he said as I'm intelligent and articulate I've obviously managed to do a good job of coping with my difficulties and haven't been held back (I'd disagree, I'm sure I'd have got much better grades at school had I had help and these difficulties have held me back in music and sport). He says I need to play to my strengths which is all well and good but I don't have any.

So basically I've got to wait until I see him again in 6 months to discuss the results of the brain scan, I'm having a really hard time right now emotionally, I'm really struggling to accept myself for who I am. For me the pros of diagnosis are greater than the cons;

Pros: would hopefully make me feel better about myself as I can tell people I have dyspraxia, I fear I come across badly to people as I can't drive and don't have a graduate job so that if I could say I had a condition which made it difficult for me to learn to drive (I am truly abysmal and doubt I'll ever be able to drive) and also made it difficult for me to pass the tests I need to for a graduate job (maths is my downfall, I'm pretty sure I have dyscalculia also) it would make people be less unpleasant to me. Ditto for when I fall, trip, drop things etc, I'm fed up of being told to 'be more careful' - I am careful, it's not MY fault. There's also a possibility that a diagnosis would help me in terms of searching for a job in terms of diversity in the workplace. A diagnosis may also open up the prospect of cognitive behavioural therapy and maybe counselling, I feel some may be useful to help me with my self-esteem issues and to help me accept myself the way I am.

Cons: it may prejudice people against me, people may just think I'm making it up (the 'dyslexia isn't real, it's just an excuse for people who can't read' esque people), it could harm me in the workplace as people may think I'd be more trouble than I'm worth.

So basically I'm asking for opinions, for those who are self-diagnosed - do you find people are understanding? or do they dismiss it without an 'official' diagnosis? Do you think a diagnosis would be a hindrance in terms if finding jobs or do you think it could help?

and for those who are 'officially' diagnosed - do you find people to be understanding? do you find finding work difficult?

[Liz944]

To be honest you will always get people who don't believe or understand anything about dyspraxia and some who do understand with or without an offical diagnosis. I think you need to realise that you can't change other people and you can only change yourself.... You need to get to a stage where you are happy and can accept your own strengths and weaknesses and find out your own limitations. I am sure there are graduate jobs out there that do not have tests before the interview its just a matter of finding them. If you feel that a diagnosis is beneficial for you then I would push the issue with your doctor.

[Ldyalb]

You're right, there are some but I've not heard back from any of the ones I applied to, I failed tests for several, like the Civil Service (was gutted, that's where the bf works and we'd both like to be working there as the public sector has a lot of perks, and arguably would be more understanding of any problems such as when they paid for my bf to see a Counsellor last year), with bf's help I passed the Royal Mail tests but failed spectacularly at the phone interview. The problem is that for many graduate schemes you have to fill in an application form, if you pass that you do online tests, then perhaps a phone interview, then you have to do more tests but at an assessment centre, probably have to do a presentation and group exercises there too and then you get an actual interview. It's a very long winded and complicated process, my bf was going to assessment centres all over the place last year. I seem to be failing at the first hurdle, such is the life of a graduate in a recession Have applied for a paid internship in HR so am hoping to hear from them soon, it would be perfect as is 6 months and would be a huge boost for me when applying to graduate jobs next year. (One consolation is that even though I don't have a graduate job I do have A job, it's only 3 days a week but considering how hard it is to find work for people generally at the moment it's definitely something to about)

I may speak to the Dr about counselling, my self-esteem is very low and I think something like that could really help, I tend to be more dyspraxic when I'm upset so boosting my confidence will hopefully make me a little less accident prone and foster a positive outlook

Cheers Liz, you've made me feel better - good advice on not changing others, that's something I've forgotten over these last few weeks At least the neurologist hasn't 'written me off' so to speak, he says he's very interested in the relationship between the brain and people who have neurological problems without actually having a neurological problem (if that makes sense??) so he's very keen to get my brain scanned and to see if there's any correlation. And getting him to refer me to a psychologist was my Dr's original intent (she couldn't refer me as the surgery only refers people who are depressed/anxious etc) so if he does that for me then that will help too.

[Evasura]

Geez, sorry it was so disappointing. and 6 months!!!Well, I can just bear with you. Can't give any advice, as you know I'm also going for diagnosis. I suggested before LSA, which is a lovely job and you can mvoe from there into High skilled LSA (I think that's what is called). I am sorry also because the system in this country seems so unfair. Maths are overrated and I really don't understand why students have to do compulsory Maths GCSE and you need Maths for some jobs that will require very basic Maths skills. I'm not sure I would have made it to become a teacher if I had had to do all those exams (in Spain you can drop Maths in Y10 and it's not required for PGCE) and just because I'm from another EU country I have access to a qualification that people with my same skills (or lack of them) wouln't get. Good luck and loads of effort and work. The force be with you???

[Liz944]

With the job situation its hard at the moment but with the end of the recession (provided things don't get worse...) hopefully the job market will start getting back to normal.... I work for a council and we had a job going in our department and 106 people applied so I would not get to worried that you are getting knocked back at the first hurdle its just not a good time to be job hunting... Have you tried any local government posts as they tend to have good support networks in place with good benefits.