Is my daughter Dyspraxic?

[Hefferlump]

Hi, I hope this’ll be okay. I’m trying to figure out whether my daughter may be Dyspraxic. She’s nearly 40 years old. We’ve always had a difficult relationship. Throughout all the years she lived at home she never once ‘tidied’ her room when taken to task. Instead, she’d sit with something very small and kind of organise that a bit or get sidetracked doing something unrelated..like drawing.

In her late 30s now, she has a daughter (6 yrs). She’s never held down a job for very long, and usually only part-time ones. Her house is a complete and utter mess. If she or her daughter drop anything, including food, she doesn’t worry about picking it up. She’s always seemed a little slow with her motor skills, too, being a little clumsy. Even when she comes to visit, the onus is very much on me to organise everything, including picking up after my daughter. I did notice, when she was here at Christmas, that she’s set her phone alarm for some online computer game interaction and went on with what I was doing wondering whether it might be laziness or depression. Someone mentioned Dyspraxia when talking about their children just recently and it stuck with me. My daughter told me a couple of years back, very confidently, that she’d read up on it on the Internet and had a hoarding disorder. I’m wondering whether any of this sounds familiar with anyone. I just want to try and help my daughter. These things weren’t quite as out in the open as they are now when she was growing up.

I thank you if you’ve read this far and apologise if it appears in the wrong place...

[Tom fod]

Hi, I hope this’ll be okay. I’m trying to figure out whether my daughter may be Dyspraxic. She’s nearly 40 years old. We’ve always had a difficult relationship. Throughout all the years she lived at home she never once ‘tidied’ her room when taken to task. Instead, she’d sit with something very small and kind of organise that a bit or get sidetracked doing something unrelated..like drawing.

In her late 30s now, she has a daughter (6 yrs). She’s never held down a job for very long, and usually only part-time ones. Her house is a complete and utter mess. If she or her daughter drop anything, including food, she doesn’t worry about picking it up. She’s always seemed a little slow with her motor skills, too, being a little clumsy. Even when she comes to visit, the onus is very much on me to organise everything, including picking up after my daughter. I did notice, when she was here at Christmas, that she’s set her phone alarm for some online computer game interaction and went on with what I was doing wondering whether it might be laziness or depression. Someone mentioned Dyspraxia when talking about their children just recently and it stuck with me. My daughter told me a couple of years back, very confidently, that she’d read up on it on the Internet and had a hoarding disorder. I’m wondering whether any of this sounds familiar with anyone. I just want to try and help my daughter. These things weren’t quite as out in the open as they are now when she was growing up.

I thank you if you’ve read this far and apologise if it appears in the wrong place...

The tone of your writing unfortunately comes across as very judgemental and condescending of your daughter. I can appreciate you may feel exasperated and that you quite naturally want to see her suceed, but it seems like you are finding fault with everything she does or doesn't do.

There is not a great deal of support out there and getting confirmatory 'diagnosis' as an adult via NHS is difficult. Post diagnosis support is also near impossible to find.

She may well have got her stubborness from you and it is very possible she has become depressed and/or suffers with anxiety. Dyspraxia can equally co-occur with ADD/ADHD but it is not going to help speculating on reported traits.

We do get enquiries from parents and partners and your tone does rather make one's blood boil.

[Hefferlump]

Well, I’m sorry it was seen that way. You might’ve been a little quick to judge me there. I was trying to be matter of fact and concise. Thank you.

[Tom fod]

Believe me, it was a much more gentle and considered reply than my initial reaction!

How do you think your daughter (or another member of our community) would be feeling if they visited and read your ‘matter of fact and concise', post slagging them off in this way?

[Jim]

Apart from general difficulties with her motor skills there is relatively little information in there to judge.

Being untidy isn’t really a fair pointer towards dyspraxia.

The fact that she herself has recognised things within herself and researched it leading to her suspicion about a hoarding disorder suggests she could do with some support.

My suggestion would be to encourage her to see her GP and maybe be referred to a specialist who ever that may be.

[cfedsas]

The best way to help with diagnosis is to start monitoring your child and recording these observations daily. Your child's symptoms should be observed continuously for at least six months to diagnose dyspraxia.
Your notes will tell you that your child's behavior is constant and hinders daily activities. This method helped me in establishing the diagnosis of my daughter. We adopted her young, so we were prepared for unexpected illnesses. Foster Plus is an effort of 11 social service agencies, which has helped us greatly. Also, contact a specialist.