Daily living

[Watsonsazrob]

My son is 28 and lives in supported housing. He is constantly hounded by support workers for not doing things eg showering, cleaning his teeth or getting up! He has lots of visual reminders but nothing works as he’s just not motivated to do these things. Any advice? I am thinking about finding somebody who offers CBT Thanks

[Andrew_S_Hatton]

Thanks for the enquiry, such difficulties are very familiar to me.

I am driven to be a bit better organised when there is something I feel committed to outside of my home.

Nowadays, that is rarely more than once or twice a month, but then I bath and shave because I take a little pride in my appearance and would be ashamed If others could smell me.

I am 69, and realised I was dyspraxic aged 50.


I have no suggestions but it maybe that The Dyspraxia Foundation helpline, do have information suitable for parents trying to support adults with Dyspraxia about whom they feel some responsibility.

[Tom fod]

Sorry to read of your son's predicament. From my own experienxe, CBT itself requires a degree of motivation but it can help you to challenge any inner feelings of worthlessness.

I do agree he needs help in order to feel empowered and motivated and to want to do things for himself. Since he is an adult could joining this forum help? Have you managed to have meaningful discussions with the people who support him?

[Jim]

There could be a level of depression in there... which could go some small way to explaining a lack of motivation to look after himself.

[Watsonsazrob]

Thank you for your replies. He is taking antidepressants for depression, when he remembers to take them. I have tried he Dyspraxia foundation to be told that there is nobody supporting in our area. We joined a support group which was mainly younger people but fizzled out when the person who managed the group was unable to arrange meet-ups. I am sorry to hear of your struggles too but so glad you have found the motivation to do things. I will try and encourage him to join this forum. Short of him moving back home I really don’t know what else to do?

[Tom fod]

Is moving back home something he'd want to do?

What has motivated him in the past and could this be rekindled?

[EnigmaticLila]

I got to points of being purely exhausted where doing anything was too much. Even making food was impossible. I was on antidepressants but I wasn't able to take them regularly so I just ended up with a bunch of side effects - one if them being shakiness so that made it all the worse. The only thing that helped was going to occupational therapy. I have more energy than before because I'm not using as many mental resources to do things. Small things that helped were having microwave meals, sleeping in comfy clothes that didn't always require me to change, cleaning parts of myself using the sink rather than full on showers and then chewing mints when I couldn't brush my teeth.
CBT can help with motivation but if it is just pure exhaustion and not depression then the load of daily living needs to be eased and as counter productive as it sounds, that requires more exercises which an OT will give out to do.
To start with my OT made me stop using my thinking processes (I was remembering how to do things rather than using the planning pathways) and I had to do new obstacle courses everyday for a week or to do things I'd usually do differently. To help me, my brother posted up signs around my house instructing me to jump, use a different hand, walk backwards, etc. The next week I had to find where my body was in space by actively being aware of when I was crashing into things and having to do every task slowly. I now have rhythmic movements to do so that I have better coordination.
Everything got worse before it got better but I have definitely got 10x more energy than before.