Looking after a house!

Cooking, finances, shopping and any regular tasks that are challenging

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SarahTheScout
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Looking after a house!

Postby SarahTheScout » Wed May 16, 2018 12:30 pm

Hi all, I live alone (my partner comes to visit me often, she lives in Cheshire, I'm in Yorkshire), and probably one of my biggest causes of stress is looking after my house. I just can't do it! Can't keep it tidy, can't keep on top of the washing up or laundry, can't even contact the landlord for repairs very easily. Trouble is, I don't like mess because it makes me even more unproductive because it overwhelms me. The more mess, the more unproductive, the more mess! It's a vicious cycle. I have various things in place like a whiteboard with various jobs on (which day is the black bin and which is the green, for example). My partner tells me that if I just put things away when I'd used them then it'd be fine because it wouldn't get in a mess to start with, but that's so much easier said than done when living with dyspraxia! I've tried to explain that to her but she doesn't live with the condition so will never fully understand what it's like.

I was mainly just venting (finally, people who (hopefully) understand what it's like!!), but any advice for managing this would be really helpful, please...

Edit: Just realised that I might have put this in the wrong place. Should it be in day to day living?

Tom fod
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby Tom fod » Thu May 17, 2018 12:51 am

Your wish is my command but regrettably (or fortunately) I’m miles away in Gloucester and as a bloke I suspect my flat may be in a worse state.

My friend has suggested doing it a corner at a time but not sure throwing/shifting crap from one corner to the other three counts. Whilst some might say a tidy house is indicative of a wasted life seeing disorder is an unpleasant reminder of all we’re not good with. Perhaps we need a general household management tips thread.

Chez Tom one-time/ex Cub Scout it’s very much be prepared to witness an unholy mess!
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

SarahTheScout
Getting settled in
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Joined: Tue May 15, 2018 8:24 pm

Re: Looking after a house!

Postby SarahTheScout » Thu May 17, 2018 12:54 pm

I’m a current Scout (section leader for a troops in Leeds)! And it’s the same, be very much prepared for an almighty mess. Haha I know what you mean about shifting stuff from one corner to another! I make piles... the “upstairs” pile, the “shelf” pile, the “kitchen” pile, the “recycling” pile... and then the piles stay there whilst I’m distracted by something else, then I trip over them trying to do something else, and they end up mixed up and all over again...

I think a general household management tips thread would be awesome... someone might have got it sorted...!

RedRevolver
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby RedRevolver » Thu May 17, 2018 10:58 pm

I'm the same. I grew up with neglectful parents, too, so I've never been in an environment where I've been shown how to do it, so I get really stressed out. Wish I could be better but it's unlikely to ever happen as I've developed other health problems.

SarahTheScout
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby SarahTheScout » Fri May 18, 2018 12:40 am

I get you. I grew up learning how to do the things, but never really being very good at them. My first childminder person taught me how to fold up clothes to put them in the drawer, but I always struggled to make everything fit... And I only learned about 6 months ago that you can use the wardrobe for more than just really smart clothes!

RedRevolver
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby RedRevolver » Fri May 18, 2018 1:49 am

When I do them, I usually get praised for how well it's done. I just put so much energy into it that I just want to sit down forever, the fact it takes away all my energy to do anything I enjoy and I never get any help to do them. I'm not entirely sure why I've always found it so hard to attract people that can actually work in a team, and not do things in total isolation (e.g. you do the washing up, and I'll do it next time, not, I'll wash up, and you can dry them and put stuff away, and next time we can swap roles etc.).

But for anyone that is in a position to work with someone else, I think it's a good place to start regarding household chores.

SarahTheScout
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby SarahTheScout » Fri May 18, 2018 10:54 am

RedRevolver wrote:When I do them, I usually get praised for how well it's done. I just put so much energy into it that I just want to sit down forever, the fact it takes away all my energy to do anything I enjoy and I never get any help to do them. I'm not entirely sure why I've always found it so hard to attract people that can actually work in a team, and not do things in total isolation (e.g. you do the washing up, and I'll do it next time, not, I'll wash up, and you can dry them and put stuff away, and next time we can swap roles etc.).

But for anyone that is in a position to work with someone else, I think it's a good place to start regarding household chores.



It's a very good point, actually. I hadn't considered it that way. I don't live with my partner but when she comes to stay, she does help me with stuff. Often she'll wash and I'll dry because I get awful cramp in my hands washing up. A nasty combination of dyspraxia and hypermobility, I think! But yeah she does help when she's here, but I really struggle when she's not.

allesandro
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby allesandro » Sat May 26, 2018 1:52 am

I think one could literally spend every moment cleaning, scrubbing, washing clothes, etc. I recently had to take a couple of weeks to care for my mother and literally could not keep up with any of it. She does a much better job than I do and she's 90. Next time instead of dyspraxia, I'm going to request that I get OCD for something that makes me compulsively neat and clean.

SarahTheScout
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby SarahTheScout » Wed May 30, 2018 6:43 pm

allesandro wrote:I think one could literally spend every moment cleaning, scrubbing, washing clothes, etc. I recently had to take a couple of weeks to care for my mother and literally could not keep up with any of it. She does a much better job than I do and she's 90. Next time instead of dyspraxia, I'm going to request that I get OCD for something that makes me compulsively neat and clean.


:lol: :lol: The worst combination would be dyspraxia and OCD! I was diagnosed with OCD traits several years ago (it doesn't affect me so badly now) and it wasn't much fun!

allesandro
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Re: Looking after a house!

Postby allesandro » Thu May 31, 2018 11:41 am

well, maybe just not having dyspraxia would be good enough


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