Dyspraxic Adults

Am I the only person here who's cautious about answering the telephone? Especially if I don't recognise the number which is most of the time. I don't really like using phones that much especially if it's to talk to someone I don't already know that well, it creates anxiety in me as I'm never quite sure what to say and really struggle to find the right words and properly address the question. A number of people have pointed out that they've seen me shaking when making phone calls. Is this commonly experienced amongst dyspraxics or am I just being ridiculous?

I guess I could relate to that in a little way. I used to avoid answering the phone if I could.

However answering phones makes up a large part of my job. So I'm basically over that particular little niggle now.

I still ignore unknown numbers on my personal phone though.

Desert Rose wrote:Am I the only person here who's cautious about answering the telephone? Especially if I don't recognise the number which is most of the time. I don't really like using phones that much especially if it's to talk to someone I don't already know that well, it creates anxiety in me as I'm never quite sure what to say and really struggle to find the right words and properly address the question. A number of people have pointed out that they've seen me shaking when making phone calls. Is this commonly experienced amongst dyspraxics or am I just being ridiculous?

No one here is going to accuse you of being ridiculous! 8-) There are a variety of reasons why anyone might be nervous about answering the phone at work (or at home). In a business /service there's a much higher degree of on the spot pressure, to take in, process what you are being asked and respond correctly there and then to satisfy the callers requirement(s) or manage their expectations. It's understandably a nightmare scenario fo a lot of people!

Background noise. A busy office and lots of calls and remembering/ensuring follow-up actions are completed/passed on correctly to the right people, all add up to fry our poor brains, especially when we're in unfamilar territory.and or the caller you're speaking to is in a hurry and/or stressed themself.

Similarly, making a call yourself to obtain info or to relay it correctly can be equally stressful. Email and other kinds of messaging are great but sometimes picking up the phone is the best way to get things moving in the right direction.

I think that if you have to do it, you'll hopefully find the fear lessens as you gain confidence.

The Parachute Regiment have a training motto Knowlege Dispels Fear. I think I'd venture that the prospect of falling 40 ft off a climbing frame is too terrifying for me though I've done some advwnturous but not (by my standards 8-) insane stuff.

I agree with most of the above - my last (nearly) full-time job as an employee was in a small open-plan office where 3 - 4 people could be on the phone at the same time - a dyspraxic's nightmare!

I also have problems remembering to phone people, related to short-term memory I think (and perhaps a bit of phone phobia to be honest), and often cause offence as a result.

Regards

Welcome AshleyCuneo !

Yes I do have some trouble with answering the phone or my phone.... I will stutter and say MMM.... and try to say Hello? does anyone else stutter when answering the phone?

Steve.

Desert Rose wrote:Am I the only person here who's cautious about answering the telephone? Especially if I don't recognise the number which is most of the time. I don't really like using phones that much especially if it's to talk to someone I don't already know that well, it creates anxiety in me as I'm never quite sure what to say and really struggle to find the right words and properly address the question. A number of people have pointed out that they've seen me shaking when making phone calls. Is this commonly experienced amongst dyspraxics or am I just being ridiculous?

I don't find this at all ridiculous, for years I have also been cautious about answering the phone to numbers I don't know (or in some cases do) It feels like a hot stomach dropping sensation has come over me and sometimes i can get anxious and also start trembling. Sometimes I fear it may be someone who doesn't like me who has got hold of my number. Sometimes a paranoia, and other times I don't really know why. Its also the same for ringing people, I worry who will answer the phone, i worry about their reaction even if they are perfectly fine with me ringing. I must add I've got anxious in the past and rang someone i know more than once in a short space of time and they've either not answered or I've ended up getting a good telling off then always feeling ashamed. Even where I've rang to inquire why so and so was doing this as a teenager (I have had past problems with so called friends and their parents insulting me in the past (I have Hypocondraplasia) I have suffered mental health problems that were known by them, which of course would give them more to laugh about. People would shout at me and in cases get personal even if I was trying to reasonably confront them. So maybe that has controbuted with my issues regarding this. I am still trying to get a formal dyspraxia assessment. It seems true that a lot of adults never seem to get a diagnosis. Does any of this relate to anyone else?

lizzie1991 wrote: I don't find this at all ridiculous, for years I have also been cautious about answering the phone to numbers I don't know (or in some cases do) It feels like a hot stomach dropping sensation has come over me and sometimes i can get anxious and also start trembling. Sometimes I fear it may be someone who doesn't like me who has got hold of my number. Sometimes a paranoia, and other times I don't really know why. Its also the same for ringing people, I worry who will answer the phone, i worry about their reaction even if they are perfectly fine with me ringing. I must add I've got anxious in the past and rang someone i know more than once in a short space of time and they've either not answered or I've ended up getting a good telling off then always feeling ashamed. Even where I've rang to inquire why so and so was doing this as a teenager (I have had past problems with so called friends and their parents insulting me in the past (I have Hypocondraplasia) I have suffered mental health problems that were known by them, which of course would give them more to laugh about. People would shout at me and in cases get personal even if I was trying to reasonably confront them. So maybe that has controbuted with my issues regarding this. I am still trying to get a formal dyspraxia assessment. It seems true that a lot of adults never seem to get a diagnosis. Does any of this relate to anyone else?

Sadly it seems you've encountered some horrid people and it's really not surprising you suffer with anxiety because some people are unable to treat you with the respect you deserve.

Desert Rose wrote:Am I the only person here who's cautious about answering the telephone? Especially if I don't recognise the number which is most of the time. I don't really like using phones that much especially if it's to talk to someone I don't already know that well, it creates anxiety in me as I'm never quite sure what to say and really struggle to find the right words and properly address the question. A number of people have pointed out that they've seen me shaking when making phone calls. Is this commonly experienced amongst dyspraxics or am I just being ridiculous?

I had this really bad when i was younger i was petrified

I have the same issue. It is especially anxiety provoking if the person is not someone I wish to speak with at that moment. That often has to do with either my struggle to stay focused on the task at hand, or if I already have too much going on in the way of stress and attempting to manage it I don't need anyone else piling more stress on me.

I used to work at a call centre for PS3 and PS2 support, and it was horrific for me. I absolutely despised that job. I was verbally abused so often, once for 40 minutes regarding a guy's copy of a game, and he was 40 years old! I was 20 and didn't really know what to do, so I just stayed calm and dealt with it. Actually, a little anecdote from this is that I once used the word unscrupulous, and my manager implicitly told me not to use large words. The pay was terrible as well. It wasn't minimum wage, in fairness, but the shifts were horrid, and everything. I was so much happier at my next job in web development. Our company did Sainsbury's, Boots, GAME, Selfridges, Dunelm, and many other big brands. It was much better pay and pretty cool. Finally, I just realised I used an Oxford comma by mistake, but I'll leave it in to honour them.

You're not alone! I 'm so cautious about answering the phone, even to people I'm fairly comfortable with. I panic when the phone rings about what they might want and whether I can respond properly or if I'll fluff it up... I just don't answer half the time. Sometimes I call back a bit later after I've worked up to it. Unknown numbers usually turn out to be telesales anyway so that's fine, but I do feel bad about ignoring friends and family. There's times when even composing a text can cause me hours of stress and anguish, while I procrastinate and re-edit a hundred times... I'm trying hard to cut out the procrastination element now though. I find if I don't think too hard about communicating it all goes a lot better.

I feel really nervous talking to people that I don't know, which I why in the past that I had failed interviews for call centres due to me stuttering or forgetting what I was going to say,

I'd hate to work in a call centre proper as it is not something I think I'd be good at or want to do. though I'm more used to dealing with phone calls as I've gained experience and confidence.

I'm fine with actually answering the phone and taking a message for someone- I always make sure to write it down and I'm not afraid to ask the person on the end of the phone to repeat something if I haven't got part of the message. However I do often struggle if the call is for me and the person on the other end says something unexpected. It's not that I get nervous, I just can't think on the spot.

I've always been very cautious about answering the phone. I think because it's so difficult for me to retore equilibrium after receiving bad news. So, particularly if things are already going badly, I am very cautious about answering the phone.