Do you prefer specifics, when people ask you questions?

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KirbyKitty
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Do you prefer specifics, when people ask you questions?

Postby KirbyKitty » Sun Sep 11, 2016 12:24 pm

I find when people ask me questions, I prefer for them to ask what they want to ask (specifically) and not infer it. Socially, I find a lot of the way we talk to one another relies on social cues, small talk and general banter. Having Dyspraxia, I prefer if people ask me a specific question like, "Did you find what you wanted at the shops?" Instead of "How was the shops?" If they ask the latter it makes me not as forthcoming with things to say. Similarly to small talk, when people ask "How are you?" It might be better if they ask something more specific really.

So I wanted to know if other people that have Dyspraxia, prefer people ask specific questions when talking to them, say friends and family. Instead of leaving it open and casual. Do you they reveal less, if people don't ask specific questions?


Thank you!

Tom fod
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Re: Do you prefer specifics, when people ask you questions?

Postby Tom fod » Sun Sep 11, 2016 7:23 pm

KirbyKitty wrote:I find when people ask me questions, I prefer for them to ask what they want to ask (specifically) and not infer it. Socially, I find a lot of the way we talk to one another relies on social cues, small talk and general banter. Having Dyspraxia, I prefer if people ask me a specific question like, "Did you find what you wanted at the shops?" Instead of "How was the shops?" If they ask the latter it makes me not as forthcoming with things to say. Similarly to small talk, when people ask "How are you?" It might be better if they ask something more specific really.

So I wanted to know if other people that have Dyspraxia, prefer people ask specific questions when talking to them, say friends and family. Instead of leaving it open and casual. Do you they reveal less, if people don't ask specific questions?

Thank you!


I'd immediately feel like correcting them on the correct form "how were the shops" though I guess I would probably bite back my pedantry and not answer with that or . . "well they're very much still the same, you choose what you want and have to pay the going rate for the goods before walking out with them."

Unfortunately we can't really control what or how people ask us questions and equally it is our prerogative as to how we answer and in how much detail. We do tend to not always pick up on subtexts and tend to take a more literal interpretation but as humans, dyspraxia aside, we are often lacking in effectiveness/efficiency in how we communicate with each other.
Tom
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OneClumsyDragon
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Re: Do you prefer specifics, when people ask you questions?

Postby OneClumsyDragon » Wed Sep 14, 2016 9:26 am

Yeah, I've had a similar problem
All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.

poodlelover81
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Re: Do you prefer specifics, when people ask you questions?

Postby poodlelover81 » Wed Nov 02, 2016 2:03 pm

Yes. I hate it when people ask me things like "Would you mind taking out the trash?". It's like "heck, yeah I mind". And then I get confused :-s I wish they would just flat-up tell me to take out the trash instead of asking me if I mind, as I tend to take things very literally. My best friend is a sarcastic asshole & loves picking on my tendency to take things literally lol

skyebison
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Re: Do you prefer specifics, when people ask you questions?

Postby skyebison » Thu Nov 03, 2016 5:28 am

KirbyKitty wrote:Similarly to small talk, when people ask "How are you?" It might be better if they ask something more specific really.


They aren't actually asking how you are. It's more of a statement phrased as a question to be polite. Unfortunately you're not supposed to say anything other than "Good, thanks, how are you?" unless it's a close friend. Talking about the weather is a safe topic and makes you seem more socially competent so you could say "Oh, I'm good, but how about all this rain? I'd be better if it let up!"

KirbyKitty wrote:I find a lot of the way we talk to one another relies on social cues, small talk and general banter. Having Dyspraxia, I prefer if people ask me a specific question


I really prefer specific answers to questions. An old teammate invited me to dinner at her place once, I inquired if SOs were invited and she said "Oh, I think it's just the team this time." Drove me bonkers. I'm sure she was trying to say no politely, but it would have been better if she said, "No sorry, just the team this time."

KirbyKitty wrote: So I wanted to know if other people that have Dyspraxia, prefer people ask specific questions when talking to them, say friends and family. Instead of leaving it open and casual. Do you they reveal less, if people don't ask specific questions?


Depends on the context. If I'm just casually chatting with someone I like open ended questions so the conversation can go anywhere and get interesting. Multiple people have told me the key to good conversation is asking open ended questions and letting the other person talk about themselves. If I'm at work though I want questions and answers to be direct and to the point so I understand what is expected of me. Not that I'm antisocial at work, but I would rather have my boss tell me my report sucks and what I need to fix than to have her try to phrase it nicely and leave me confused about what I need to fix.

Matt1988
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Re: Do you prefer specifics, when people ask you questions?

Postby Matt1988 » Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:17 pm

Yeah I much prefer the questions to be specific. I tend to ask and answer questions in a very matter of fact way anyway. If I want something or I'm asking for someone else then I'll ask only about that thing and then walk away, small talk doesn't tend to enter my mind. I think anything but the specifics is a bit of a bore and a waste of time plus I get anxious if people don't get to the point of what they are trying to say cause that's the only thing I'll be focused on, anything else is irrelevant. It makes me quite impatient sometimes but that's anxiety.


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