Ignorance of Dyspraxia

[maria]

My older, non-dyspraxic half sister told me yesterday that I couldn't possibly be dyspraxic because:-

I've never been diagnosed by a doctor (I've never sought a diagnosis because I only heard of it a few years back and as I'm now in my 50s it hardly seems worth it.)

I write as a hobby and "dyspraxic people have no imagination, it said so in a leaflet from her grandson's school". (Either that school is publishing startlingly inaccurate information about dyspraxia or she's confusing it with some other condition, as it can overlap with several. Plus, one of the hallmarks of dyspraxia is our creativity!)

I even did an online test to prove it to her and asked whether or not she agreed with each answer. If she didn't agree, I marked "no". The result was still, "a higher than average set of indicators for dyspraxia". I KNOW I am dyspraxic. I have all the classic dyspraxic signs - high verbal ability, low practical ability, lack of co-ordination, poor manual dexterity, both left and right-handed, no sense of direction etc.

I now realise my late Mum was dyspraxic, but my sister argued she couldn't have been "because she could knit" Well, okay, she could, but just basic stuff like baby clothes and dolls clothes and always using a knitting pattern. Anyway, I can knit but don't (even tho I'm mainly right-handed I couldn't figure it out as a 10-year-old when right-handed people tried to show me how; it only finally made sense when a left-handed girl demonstrated! ) Mum had several dyspraxic traits, including being neither right nor left-handed, and Dad often had to help out with practical tasks, even putting my hair in a pony tail for school because Mum couldn't!

I get so fed up of non-dyspraxic people telling me I'm not dyspraxic (one well-meaning friend even told me I couldn't be "because I'm normal" ) So...after the Xmas/New Year I just might make an appointment with my GP (not that I'm holding my breath, I believe a lot of GPs have never even heard of it). Seems a bit daft really, if I have a headache I don't need a doctor/occupational therapist/psychologist to tell me I have a headache , but it just might shut up the doubters.

Or is one of the symptoms of being non-dyspraxic thinking you know everything there is to know about dyspraxia? Anyway, just letting off steam so thanks for listening!

[Mopps]

I am 58 years old and went to school in the 60,s that was a time when teachers had never heard of the word Dyspraxia, I also have Dyslexia,and Dyscalcula ,too. I have one non Dyspraxic friend who. Can't take me any more I think sadly she feels I am getting on her wick I don't mean to get on people's wick but I can't help it. On of the syptoms of Dyspraxia is you can talk a lot about it I have tried to explain to this friend but she has got fed up and does not want to know. She said to me once it is not that you can't do things but that you won't try to do them. This is not true. Yes Dyspraxics as you say are creative I like to write too. It is poetry I like to write to help people going through a difficult time. Though I write other types Hymns funny poems. Ecta I make jewellery. And cards as a hobby. And sell them to raise funds for a charity I support. People who have not experienced Dyspraxia for them selfs have no idea of the struggles we have to go through every day some days for me are not to bad then other days can be very stressful. I live with my 92 year old mother who does not like when I get emotional as that is another symptom and anxious. And stressed out too she has often said to me when I am crying oh stop yer greeting will you.I just don't know what we can do do get non Dyspraxics to understand what it is like for us Dyspraxics. I go to a learning centre twice a week in our town and the Tutors are very helpful and give you great support so I feel that is good and they always encourage you and never put you down atall. I will always be happy to listen to you if you find none else will. Keep up the writing it is a very good interest to have.

Mopps

[maria]

Hi Mopps, sorry you are going through such a tough time. I don't suffer from dyslexia, nor, from what I gather, dyscalculia (tho I do HATE maths! ) but I share your frustration about people not understanding dyspraxia. I don't really like to mention it too much but sometimes I have to eg "I rarely cook because it really is too much hassle for me remembering to do everything at once" - "I buy ready prepared veg either frozen or tinned because have you EVER tried grating carrots when you're dyspraxic?" - "I NEVER iron curtains or bedding because ironing is the most hated and pointless task on earth AND probably the most difficult!"

My sister re-read the leaflet and admitted she'd misread it in the first place! But I might well see if I get a confirmation diagnosis anyway. I'm lucky enough to have three really good (non-dyspraxic) friends even though they do think I'm making excuses about not being able to cook, iron etc and find it amusing. They really are lovely, caring people though. I am off on holiday tomorrow so away now till January.

[Mopps]

Thanks for your email and hope you have a good Holiday away. Good you have good non Dyspraxic friends I have a really good one too.we were at Primary school together and still keep up with each other we support each other a lot. If she needs to off load I let her and the same with me she lets me.'she encourages me I. Things I can do and not to worry about things I can't do. I hate cooking and don't use a cooker much just the microwave. I am so fussy with food a Dyspraxic thing I have heard before. One of the foods I hate are veg and salad things I wonder if any other person does too?I do hope you do get a diagnose for whatever you need. Think this is a good forum because people take an interest in the others not just themselves. I have a non Dyspraxic friend as I maybe said before to you I just seem to get on her wick a lot and often she would not reply to my texts or Emails I sent about things and that upset me greatly as I was maybe needing help or advice on a matter but she could not take this Dyspraxia and Dyslexia and Dyscalcula thing with me in the end and I felt she was getting I patient. I always try to be caring and show understanding if I can if someone has a problem even though I might have a lot myself.

Thanks again for your reply,

Mopps