Dealing with and Discussing FINANCES!

[Smuggler]

I can't keep on top of my finances, im often overdrawn or receiving unauthorised over-draughts. Internet banking creates a mind block for me, checking letter, balances, bills, all fries my brain -

Now, on top of that, i've realised I can't talk about it. My girlfriend, struggles with my complete disorganisation and neglect of my (and her) finances, and this is a major cause of worry for her. This mean she's often asking. checking up and 'nagging' at me about this stuff.

I find i completely shut down, I can't talk about it, I just curl into a metaphorical ball and ask her to leave me alone. That infuriates and worries her further and it almost always ends up in an argument.

Can anyone suggest A - Resources to help me deal with my finances better, and B - Anything on how to discuss with a dyspraxic person about things like this?

I read a post here about the fear and panic when someone asks you to plan ahead. I get that completely, and it's the same feeling I get when asked to think and explain my finances.

Feeling rather desperate after another argument about this... can anyone offer any help or links to published info?
Thanks
R

[Tom fod]

Hi Smuggler

The key is to know what you have coming in, what you are spending it on and how much you then have left after you have paid all the essential bills to spend on nice-to-have treats. You also need to think about creating a reserve to cover emergencies should they occur.

I know it can be a drag but analysing where your money goes and identifying what is legitimate spend and what is waste that you cannot really afford to throw money away on, is really important if you want to plan for the future.

It sounds like you could ask for ideas/advice on how your girlfriend manages money as showing at least an interest may help to avoid some of the rows.

You can also try

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/? ... tAod-WQAfg

and/or

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/bankin ... t-planning.

Not an easy answer I'm afraid but hope this helps.

[Smuggler]

Hey man,

Thanks for replying! Those links look good altho I still go into brain freeze just looking at them.
I understand the principles behind budgeting, but its coping with, and developing the routine I have never been able to master. Also there is something about the wording or layout of these things just send me into a spin. I wish there was some sort of specially laid out recording sheets or a guide to financing and recording for dyspraxics, which explained the science behind why these things confuse my brain, and how to work round them!
Thanks again man.

[Tom fod]

Your welcome.

It needs to be something you can slot into your routine and that won't become a chore and be abandoned. Due to the jobs I've had, my upbringing (my dad was always miserly) and my OCD type nature it's easier for me. Although I do admit my spreadsheet record is not up to date and I don't scrutinise and stay on top of my spending as much as I sometimes feel I should, but equally I sometimes cannot be arsed to make a sandwich and instead treat myself to a burger or subway. Do that every day and I'd be down £40+ with nothing but a larger waistline to show for it.

I'm guessing the word spreadsheet fills you with horror and sends you into a spin but it could be as simple as having a sheet of paper or a list written a whiteboard with a box at the top containing a figure of what you have coming in. I imagine there are apps out there but I must admit I'd be guarded about their security. As a musician do you get paid a regular amount? I'm assuming the money you earn gets paid into a bank account? Does an agent and/or accountant do any of this for you? Do you have friends who could help advise you on how they keep up with their finances to give you ideas for a personal system of your own?

Having established how much you have coming in, you then need to examine where the money goes each month. by listing regular outgoings such as rent, council tax, Mobile phone, electricity water and other regular payments that leave your account, (looking at your bank statements should help).

Do you take money out in cash to spend and/or make purchases on a card (or cards - not good if you have lots)? How often do you take out cash and how much.

You need to add all of these up and then subtract the total of these from the figure at the top which should leave you with the 'amount you have to play with'. If it all adds up to more than is coming in, you need to think about where you might make changes/savings.

I guess the trick is to try and bring some order and routine into your life which I'm guessing may not be the easiest thing given the industry you work in. I imagine trying to keep up with responsibilities like analysing your spending is likely to get in the way of your busy and hectic lifestyle and going out and having fun. Dyspraxia does make it more difficult but there are just as many non-dyspraxics who are struggling with finances and investing time and energy now could save you and protect your future.

Hope you can find a balance and maybe your girlfriend might help you with your ideas for creating your own personal solution if you were to ask? Do make sure it is a system that works for you though. I hope some of this helps you to create a system that works for you. Please don't post any details about what you earn here.