Social Anxiety

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jad101
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Social Anxiety

Postby jad101 » Mon May 06, 2013 12:28 am

Does anyone else with dyspraxia have social anxiety?? i am really self conscious around people especially due to my dyspraxia .i mean i hate being in big groups unless ive known them along time and im super nervous around new people.
i mean sometimes i want to break out and and talk to people but im scared tbh. I lock myself from others because i hate being judged. maybe its due to years of being bullied because i had dyspraxia which has brought this on.

Speedless
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Speedless » Mon May 06, 2013 5:49 pm

I think it's something that may develop from being dyspraxic. I know I've done it, at an early age I was really self concious of how I wrote, ate and even how I stood! And I just moved it on to different things throughout my life.


One thing I've found helpful is coming up with 2 theories. Theory a being the worst possible out come & theory b the best and looking back on them after the day and seeing which one was true. It just helps to recognise that my initial anxiety only comes true 10% of the time and the more I did it, the better I felt that theory b would come true the more confident I felt about myself when stuck in social situation. Just give yourself time, patience and understanding, and you'll get there :)

prittm
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby prittm » Tue May 07, 2013 12:12 pm

I also have social anxiety because of my dyspraxia.It frustrates me.Just like you when I dont like been in a large crowd of people and I am terrible around new people(its like I am afraid what they will think of me)a recent example of this is I am in a book club and there was 5 new people around my age join and I found myself talking to the members I already know and didn't say anything to them new ones.Its like I know what I want to do but for some reason I just cant bring myself to do it ,I was also bullied but I doubt it is anything to do with that.

Moot
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Moot » Tue May 07, 2013 6:26 pm

Yup - I definitely have social anxieties. >:
Hopefully not making too many moot points... heh... *ahem* :D

prittm
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby prittm » Tue May 07, 2013 6:36 pm

How does it affect you then moot please?

williamsuk
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby williamsuk » Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:07 am

I find that im absolutely fine talking to new ppl for the first time...so long as they don't ask me too many personal questions. but I hate small talk, and would rather keep my head down and pretend I didn't see someone I know, rather than have to engage. this probably makes me appear rude! I try to actively work on it, so as not to offend too much. I would never have the nerve to call an old friend, or knock on their door uninvited. I am frequently invited places, but never take ppl up on it because im afraid they wont like me if I mess up, by being too over the top. I feel invisible, so I am surprised when ppl all over the place seem to know who I am! then I worry that I have portrayed the wrong image or said or done something wrong! nightmare!! sali x

EmRose9
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby EmRose9 » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:36 pm

I know this is quite an old post but I can relate to the topic at hand in quite a big way. I have only recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia but have suffered with panic attacks/social anxiety since I was around 9 years old (I'm 21 now) and the idea that they could be connected makes so much sense. Things have always been difficult, I have never had that many friends and constantly avoided situations where I would be with large groups of people and I might make a spectacle of myself (e.g public speaking and physical education classes). I just thought this was because I was shy and slightly too chubby to be any good at sport or have friends (sad I know). Also, small talk is one of my least favourite things and I get so wrapped up in thinking about what other people thought about me I just started avoiding them altogether.
As I got older, panic attacks started occuring and I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder which I started taking medication for after I managed to fail some modules at college and university due to not doing any of the public speeches I was required to. It was weird, because I was perfectly fine with the content but could never process exactly what I wanted to say, surrounded by a large group of people who I believed were out to criticise nevermind the questions they might ask once the speech is completed. Things got better as I started to obtain support from professionals, who eventually suggested I should be screened for dyspraxia and this is where I am at now :)
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Alan
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Alan » Tue Oct 29, 2013 12:23 pm

Hi Jad,
To deal with social anxiety, go through a cognitive behavioral therapy and take deep cleansing breaths. Consult your doctor and use targeted mental exercises to refocus your fears. Engage in regular physical activities and watch what you eat.
Doctors Studio
Lisbeth Roy, D.O.
6400 N Andrews Avenue Suite 120
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309
561 - 444 - 7751

Gina Trent
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Gina Trent » Sat Dec 21, 2013 12:03 am

I have always not been able to socialise very well. I've had 2 main friends through school, and I talk to a couple of people besids them in lessons and thats about it. I was never liked that much, both in primary and secondary. I've always been bullied, and they were mainly boys...anyway, since school I havent had all that much interaction with people. I find it hard to just talk to people at first and am shy..(sorry this is a long reply) I have worked in a care home for nearly 3 years and before that, I was unemployed for 3 years, and I didn't have any social interactions with anyone. I live in a different place to what I did at school. It took me 6 months to settle into my job, and tbh, I didn't feel welcome when I first started. I was very shy, and anxious. I couldn't wait to get home. I dreaded break time because I couldn't strike a conversation, and I felt so awkward. I had nothing in common with anybody. I didn't know where to look either, so I just looked at the walls and ceiling. Plus, at the time, some of the staff were the types of people I would avoid at school, and I felt I would be a target for being bullied. They have left now, so its ok. I have had problems with one person, but that's ok now too...but yeah 6 months it took till I felt settled, and I think its because when a new person came, that person made an effort to talk to me and got to know me, so the others saw that too and they talk to me now. I now feel like I fit in, and I've got a lot more confidence and am able to joke with them (although I sometimes cant tell if people are joking or not, or if people are taking the **** as a joke or being serious, but still..)...thanks for listning. I could go on all day, but that would just bore people.

Tom fod
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Tom fod » Sat Dec 21, 2013 12:20 am

Hi Gina

Welcome to the forums or fora and I'm glad to hear you're finding your feet at work.

Your experiences are just as valid as anyone elses here and may well help other people by giving them hope.

If anyone takes the mickey, they will have a moderator on their case. Fortunately I do think its very unlikely. but do please say if you see or experience this happening.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Gina Trent
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Gina Trent » Wed Jan 08, 2014 9:21 pm

Thank you Tom :)

moleyface1991
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby moleyface1991 » Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:47 pm

Hi,

I do suffer with social anxiety, I find it really hard to talk to be people, whether it be family members or my peers. I only have a small amount of friends but it can be hard when I go out with them, not because I dont like them but because I dont want to look like an idiot infront of them.
I know in my family we are all quite shy, my dad is introvert and we all think it comes from that, my brothers and I often get embarassed talking to relatives, but that is pretty normal, except whenever they come over I try and stay out of thier way because they ask questions and I feel they are all judging me, the only family member where I feel comfortable to talk to is actually my dads sister, she is just relaxable when I speak to her, which makes it less heavy unless other family members
With strangers it can go two ways, in shops I am polite but I find it akward talking random facts and about the weather, whilst in other places it is just a quick nod or morning, I never know what to say.
It can be scary talking to people just because you dont wanna look like an odd ball, I mean when I was at college I really wanted to get know people and talk but Oh MY God I was a mess, I was nervous, I had views and ideas etc but it was never coming out, I found it really embarassingly bad. People seemed just cooler and better than me. I was bullied at school and that did knock my confidence, it is just a question of keeping my head down and moving on but maybe it knocked me too sideways to realise that I should of stood up for myself a bit more and had my views heard I should shout them out.

Chris

Moot
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Moot » Tue Jan 14, 2014 4:00 pm

^ I also even lack confidence in front of my family and especially relatives at times. So large groups of people can certainly be uncomfortable. Mostly I get paranoid, like if I'm in a restaurant and need to go to the toilet but have to pass other tables I'm thinking about the way I'm going to walk by them, not wanting them to look at me and such. There are few moments in my life there isn't some part of anxieties going on!
Hopefully not making too many moot points... heh... *ahem* :D

moleyface1991
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby moleyface1991 » Wed Jan 15, 2014 12:54 pm

Moot

Oh my god, resturaunts are the worst places ever. Especially when I need a toilet. I think also when we go into resturaunts when it is so busy i get more nervous when i need to go to toilet, especially when we are farther away from the toilets then anyone else. I also prefer to face looking at the othe people rather than looking at a wall. I like to have a clear view so I try and get to a table first, but my parents are pretty irritating they will choose one table and then change thier mind so all of a sudden, drives me mad. I also find it hard ordering meals/drinks. If i go down to the chippy, i swear to god i have to right it all down, there are 6 adults in my house so we all want different things but im so scared of saying the wrong thing, so writing it down makes it sometimes easier, and oh yeah visiting somewhere i prefer to watch someone else do it first and see what the receptionist or someone is like before speaking, i have to make sure i practice before hand, ill repeat it in my head then say it out loud a couple of times, it seems to be when it is an official business or somewhere in important that i flutter and feel stupid. But its like taking off a plaster, better to do it fast and get it over with.

Chris

Moot
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Re: Social Anxiety

Postby Moot » Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:05 pm

Oh yeah, writing things down is certainly useful for orders and things!

You're right that it's best to get on with saying things, otherwise it just gets worse. Wait or say straight away, I'll still falter loads, though! XD See if I rush into it before I have any preparation to mind then I will totally blank out and there will be pauses before I can bring to mind what I was intending to say. I keep thinking back to phone calls. I tend to write out a mini script to follow which kind of works, unless I can't work out what I've written, then I'll stall, being over reliant on my written words. XD Oh dear! At work, unfortunately, I have to answer the phone quite a bit and I have to mentally prepare myself to speak before grabbing the phone.

Far too much over-thinking going on!!!
Hopefully not making too many moot points... heh... *ahem* :D


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