Why can't I just shut up

[Tim G]

Hi all

Does anyone else who is dyspraxic (or not) have this issue; basickly I dont think before I talk and this has caused major problems. When I talk I just mess things up and I just come across to others like a arogrent idiot - this is what I dont what and its somthing i am not, idiot yes (i agnolage that) but arogrent no.

It has caused a compleate loss of sel-esteem and has contrubeted to my depreshion and axianty and have even considerd taking things into my own hands and thought (nerarly attempted) at self-mulatation to permentaly make myself mute.

I dont know if anyone else feels like this or if its only me - any thoughts and suggestions appreacated.

[Captain_Ludd]

Wow, dude self mutilation is really NOT an option if it really has got to the point where you've seriously considered that you need to look at getting yourself some councling mate.
I've read a number of threads about in appropreate use of language it seems to be very common amoung us dypraxics, I often mean to say one thing and it comes out as something totally diffrent (embarrisngly blunt) and have been told I mumble to myself.
Besides which I've known a number of people w/out dyspraxia that have verbal diorrea that come across as complete numties but it does'nt get them down.
(Note: i'm no head shrink so dont take this as gospal, could be totaly wrong just MHO) sounds like your anxity has something to do with this.
Your in a social situation and/or FEEL under pressure to talk, this makes you anxious so you just blert out the first thing that comes into your head (I often do this so your not on your own ) you make it overlly forcefull and opinionated to try and overcompensate and cover up nerves.
When you percive that people have reacted badly your anxity and low self esteem focus on, overthink the negative and blow things completly out of all proprtion. (I know i do )
You dont come across in writing as anything other than a decent sort of person, Im guessing this is because you've had time to articulate your thoughts and dont feel under pressure to just say something.
BTW your no idiot thats just the low self esteem and depression talking, you found this place did'nt you? and thats a stroke of genius to start with .

[arsenal_lee4]

Mate,
This use to happen to me all the time. I still don't have full control of the situation but i am more reserved around new people than my family because they know that i have little control over what i say.

[Tim G]

Besides which I've known a number of people w/out dyspraxia that have verbal diorrea that come across as complete numties but it does'nt get them down.

Well it depeends on the person - what somone dosent care about much for others it realy will bother them - I have learn a number of examples of that but i am not trying to say that this issues shoud bother everyone.

At the end of the day the main issues of my dyspraxia which realy affect me is genralie talking (i have that i talk) and being awaere of myself - thats what i am hopeing to get help with.

I can see why i come across ok on hear as i can edet infomation before it is seen - I am ok comuacting over text as it can be edeted more easley.

[Captain_Ludd]

Well it depeends on the person - what somone dosent care about much for others it realy will bother them - I have learn a number of examples of that but i am not trying to say that this issues shoud bother everyone.

I agree mate, but the point i was trying to make is that its not just you even "normal" people do the same, at least you know its not cos your trying to be an arrogent !£$@*er but because you have nd issues and maybe that was a good reason to try and stress a little less about it.

[Catwoman42]

I agree with Captain Ludd; many people w/out dyspraxia also as my Mum puts it "just open their mouth and let their belly rumble" It is not just a dyspraxic problem. You need to work on your self esteem and slow down when talking. I used to hate myself if I tripped in public and embarrassed myself. But now I just accept it. easier said than done, but gets easier with practice.

[Tim G]

Thanks for the advice - getting help for dyspraxia issues is part of my plan - i will just have to see how things go and take what has been said on this topic into considration

[Jpowls]

I can definitely relate to this.

There are times I don't even know I'm speaking I just think out loud and have got myself into trouble on so many occasions.

It's like the part of my brain that stops me talking switches off.

This is not exclusive to dyspraxics but I think the condition exacerbates the situation.

[Tom fod]

Hi all

Does anyone else who is dyspraxic (or not) have this issue; basickly I dont think before I talk and this has caused major problems. When I talk I just mess things up and I just come across to others like a arogrent idiot - this is what I dont what and its somthing i am not, idiot yes (i agnolage that) but arogrent no.

It has caused a compleate loss of sel-esteem and has contrubeted to my depreshion and axianty and have even considerd taking things into my own hands and thought (nerarly attempted) at self-mulatation to permentaly make myself mute.

I dont know if anyone else feels like this or if its only me - any thoughts and suggestions appreacated.

Tim

I'm sure you're not arrogant much less an arrogant idiot or aven an idiot for that matter. This dyspraxia is pretty cruel at times and a real struggle to cope with. Please don't blame or harm yourself.

I find myself afraid to speak at times and I also worry unnecessarily about whether people will think I'm an idiot because of the way (I feel) i come across quite a lot too and at times hate myself for being like that. Hating yourself won't help. A lot of normal people worry about this sort of thing too and are usually far more concerned with themselves. They're often indifferent unless they think something is a directed against them. Some people are uncharitable and will lash out as a defence mechanism By all means try to understand them; Better still move on at least until they've calmed down. Hope you have a good weekend and feel happier soon.

Tom

[Tim G]

Thanks guys for the infomation and support on this subject.

I guess like most people with dyspraxia I feel like a idiot or stupid as I can't do basic things or things which others take compleatly for granted - i know this shouldent be the case but it can be hard to see / think anyother way.

I guess it varies on my mood and how deprest and / or anxious I am feeling which affects how much I can blame and hate myself and this is down to not having much awareness. - Hopefull with help / support for this I will feel better about myself.

In regards to harming myself, I havent thought about achulie doing anything stupid like mueting myself for a while now (so thats good) and i dont think it will ever come to close to achulie doing in.