dressing smart. aarrrrggghhh!

[Evasura]

OK, maybe American fellows can help here, as you have more tradition of these things:
So, I am a teacher and my friend has invited me to a graduate ball in his school. He's told me that I have to dress smart like for a ball. He's said that I have to dress very smart. Does that mean that I have to wear a long night dress? I cannot see myself in that outfit. Every time I think about it I imagine myself getting all messed up with the dressed, tripping over, spilling drinks on it, and any other messy stuff. Also, that would have to go with high heel shoes! I can't walk on high hills. Again, I'll trip over and my ankles tend to twist even with flat shoes, so imagine with high shoes... Also, my feet are awful, very wide and nearly flat, so sandals are a no-no. Just the idea makes myself of a man in a woman's costume. Fun for a Mr. bean sketch, but not for the plus 1 of a Head of Department. What do dyspraxic girls wear in those balls? I had thought about wearing smart skinny black trousers with a tail jacket and a silver top. Very extravagant, but at least I'll feel relatively comfortable. Is that allowed? My friend is not sure as he is aspergers, so not very good with social etiquette and also he's never been to a ball, so he's not sure either. Any advise appreciated. Thanx

[agsiul]

I went to a wedding in a long dress...wore a little heel under the dress but because of the dress you couldn't see them so I could have gotten away with flats....I have a terrible walk so it worked really well because you couldn't see me clunking around the place like a farmer! I picked up the edge of the dress so that I wouldn't trip over it made me look really elegant! I didn't dance at all because the dress was so long. and because the dress was black satin with lace so if I'd been unfortunate enough to spill anything on it you wouldn't have seen it.(just spilled it on the table instead....stuck to clear liquid and only drank while tucked in under the table). See if you can borrow a dress like this to try it out because looking at me you'd never have known....mind you I bent down the following day and stuck out my leg and tripped one of the other guests who went flying across the room....should have been looking where she was going!

[Ldyalb]

I find long dresses flattering, hold them up when necessary and no-one can see what weird things your legs/feet are doing.

I'm going to try and find some of the pics of me in my long ball gown, wore it to my 6th form leavers ball and two Uni Balls. Wore a long one to my year 11 Ball as well. I didn't trip up more than normal, if you're tripping on it it's too long...

When I've found some pics and removed my face I'll try and post them on here!

[Ldyalb]

http://s1177.photobucket.com/albums/x35 ... b/Dresses/

Description;

Pic 1 - Christmas Ball '06 - I'm in the Black and White dress

Pic 2 - Subject Ball, May '09 - Lots of people wore full length, lots more wore short dresses like this

Pic 3 - Subject Ball April '09 - This time with a shrug, makes it a bit more formal

Pic 4 and Pic 5 - not actually a ball but a very formal 21st birthday party, I would happily wear this dress to a ball, have worn it to wedding evening receptions etc.

When I was at Uni I did see the odd person wear flats, easily hidden with a long dress if you feel awkward to be seen in flats IYSWIM? If you do wear flats you can always buy a really pretty pair

What's your budget dress wise? We can help you find something?

[Ldyalb]

http://www.coast-stores.com/ALLURE-MAXI ... 2224721680

http://www.coast-stores.com/ALLURE-SHOR ... 2224665755

http://www.coast-stores.com/CALANDRA-ON ... 2224735720

I really like the last one but do not have the figure for it lol...

http://www.missselfridge.com/webapp/wcs ... ageSize=40

http://www.oasis-stores.com/Print-Contr ... 5550031067

http://www.oasis-stores.com/Matt-&-Shin ... 3470066901

http://www.oasis-stores.com/Oscar-Bande ... 5550030901

http://www.oasis-stores.com/Bead-Waist- ... 5550029001

http://www.monsoon.co.uk/all-dresses/ca ... /85331303/

http://www.monsoon.co.uk/maxi-dresses/n ... /85323075/

http://www.monsoon.co.uk/all-dresses/ba ... /85323805/

Hope that gives you some inspiration loads of different things you can wear with the right accessories

[agsiul]

I got my dress in Monsoon .Tey can have brilliant stuff but they're so dear and they really rip us off here because keep the conversion rate at the highest level no matter what is really happening with currency. I have to go to another wedding this year and havent even started to look....I wore thermals under the other dress too cause it was cold...will try to borrow a dress this time round because the other wedding cost a fortune.

[Evasura]

wow! thanks so much for all these posts. So definetely I have to wear a long dress? I really liked the idea of the shiny trousers and tail jacket. Won't they let me in? Will I have to spend my whole evening sitting down?

[Ldyalb]

I think a cocktail dress would suffice, I've seen loads of people wear them at Uni balls.

If I were you I would ask the University hosting the ball... explain your situation, explain your friend has Aspergers and is unsure of the protocol and ask if it's ok. I've never seen a woman not wear a dress, or a top and skirt combo to a ball so it's hard to say. In theory a smart trouser combo should be fine but I would check if I were you.

Do the invitations say black tie? if so it would be full length ball gown type of thing.

Also re: ankles - are you hypermobile? if I sit on edge of bed and dangle feet over the edge my ankles flop inwards, they're very hypermobile and twist a lot...

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4099/490 ... 2f8844.jpg

[Evasura]

LOL! hypermobile no, super hyper mobile. When I do that, my toes get to the floor. WHen I lean on my arms, my elbows bend and I can twist my arms 180 degrees, so the elbows go inwards, if I sit down and straighten my legs, my feet get off the floor, because my knees bend so much, smae about my fingers, they bend outwards when I try to straighten them. So yes, very very flexible.
Thanks for advise. Actually, the dress code in the invitation is a good point. He never showed me the invitation. I'll ask

[Ldyalb]

Have you shown the Dr your joints? watch out for aches and pains, it's very common to get fibro with hypermobile joints, esp as they're easily injured.

I think it's a good idea to look at the invite, if there's no formal invites call up and ask the Uni - I would just explain that you're hypermobile and concerned you'll injure yourself in a long dress, and ask if it would be ok to go in a smart suit with a spangly top. I would imagine it would be ok, as long as you're smartly dressed and presentable you should be fine

when is the ball?

[Evasura]

LOL my gp is not interested in my joints at all. When I went for the referral for dyspraxia he just referred me to a neurologist without even listening to my symptoms. About pains in joints...well, I've sprained my ankles so many times and my feet are so awful that I have always had pain in them, since I was a kid, so I'm used to it and I don't think it has anything to do with fibro... don't think there's much that can be done (chop my feet off and implant a new pair? :-P) maybe the neurlogist? will see. apointment is in august.
thanks for advise anyway. I'll see what dress I can find. I have till the end of June, so that should give me time. I'll check posh areas charity shops. they tend to have nice stuff for not much money. i could always wear my Dr Martin Boots under the dress

[Evasura]

what about this one: http://www.monsoon.co.uk/new-dresses/le ... mmaxidress# is it too casual? It's much my style

[Ldyalb]

I think you could dress it up with accessories, hard to say without seeing it in the flesh. Better to wear something you're comfortable in else you'll feel more awkward and I think people pick up when people don''t feel comfy in what they're wearing. I think some nice earrings, sparkly necklace, some sort of black pashmina/throw and it'd be fine.

No harm in wearing the Doc Martens underneath.. no-one will know!! reminds me of this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baQQhoUHvas

where the bride has boots under her dress I get good stuff in local charity shops too, I live in quite a middle class area of London so I snap up bits from Oasis, Monsoon, Jane Norman. I almost bought an FCUK dress once for under a tenner!! I find quite a few long dresses in my local shops so you may find something there.

I know what you mean re: joints... my GP isn't really interested. I'm seeing my Rheumatologist in less than 2 weeks and I'll make sure he is interested though... or else!!!

[Evasura]

where in London? I live in London. Is it out of town? I was plannign to go to a charity in Sloan Sq and to Richmond. I went to Oxfam in Hampstead the other day, but the only dress I liked was a size 10. I'm 12-14, so the more options I have, the better. I'm rubbish for shopping.

[Ldyalb]

Balham. I'm a 10-12, have tried to squease in to a few of the size 10 dresses but it doesn't work. There's about 4-5 charity shops in Balham, the best one is called Fara it's by Sainsburys on a side road. By a very good chippie

Could you try ringing the shops in advance? ask them if they have ball type dresses in your size first? Only problem with charity shops is it can take a few searches, but you do have plenty of time