Finding a new home

david456 · Post by **david456** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:25 pm

The moment that someone raises there hands to physically attackyou, tha is assault.
Your 20 years of age and a women and the moment a male raises his hands to a female, that is a moment that you can never go back from, you can't trust him ever again. If he's done it once, he could do it again and again and put the blame on to you, even though it's not your fault.

Let's be clear, you weren't hitting him, he was hitting you. he has an anger problem for which he needs to see someone. Make sure you are safe and away from him.

One question though, has he ever been violent in the past towards anyone?

Ruth · Post by **Ruth** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 1:48 pm

Oh fuzz I'm so sorry! that is really awful! Please please let us know how the accomodation search goes. I'm not much help in this I've only ever rented a flat through an agency. there are sometimes notices up at uni for an aditional person needed in a shared house - is there a notice board place where you are. I imagine the accomodations office will have some ideas, would a shared house be ok?

Your dad has really let you down, I wish I could help more. I'll be thinking of you.

mattie · Post by **mattie** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 2:33 pm

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. It certainly sounds as though he was really out of order. No one deserves to be physically attacked, least of all by one of their relatives. I guess the positive is that you won't have to feel afraid of him anymore.

Let us know how your search for accommodation goes - the best of luck

.

Mattie.

Post by **Daniel** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:02 pm

Yeah I think if it came to court I think they would certainly see things in your favour.

In any case you are where you are now and I know you're doing your damnest to make the best of the situation as it now stands. It'll make for some short-term headaches, but once those issues are resolved, things should work out better. Things at home have been impairing your studies to varying degrees over the months, and this at least you can put behind you and find something better for the future

As regards accommodation, I'd definitely approach your Uni's housing office, as many students come and go, and I'm sure they'd have some available rooms for the summer term. Then during the long Uni summer holidays you can work something out for next year.
There's various accommodation options available, it comes down to what you think will suit you and what's available from a financial point of view, but every Uni city is well equipped for students or all types whether they are wanting to share or have their own place.

Fear not, you will not be without a roof over your head, but do get started now to sort out the summer term (as I know you are) and worry about next year once your immediate demand for digs is sorted out.

Good luck and keep us posted with your progress.

arthmelow · Post by **arthmelow** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:17 pm

That's awful fuzz! Have you thought about going to the police? At least if you report it then you have done everything you can in your defense...

As regards the accomodation, I was kicked out after christmas last year and I managed to find accomodation for the easter hols and the gap between the end of term and when the contract for the shared house started. You'll probably be better off in a shared house or flat because you have to pay for 12 months rent there anyway. What town/city do you reside or study in? That makes a big difference (York has a shortage of shared accomodation, yet Reading has a surplus)... Plus, if you're in Higher Education you can apply to the student loan people to adjust your loan for the last term its not much but it might help!

fuzzy · Post by **fuzzy** » Wed Mar 29, 2006 11:32 am

Hey all,

Iv been onto accomodationforstudents.com and flatmateclick.co.uk and pisted notices, aswell as emialing ppl/ replying to those with spare rooms. Iv alsoi been in touch with the university Student Assosiation, asking them to help me find somewhere (they are yet to get back to me) and the Accomodation Office. My friends that are still in Aberdeen (which is where i study, artmallow) are looking out for posters on campus like someone I think it was Ruth mentioned and are going to keep me posted. So far I have one person with a room to let which im going to call in a moment and a girl with a spare room in a flat- only prob is, the contract is til August so im going to decline- having to get rid of it in June would be a terrible strain. Halls are also readily avaibale and reitivaley cheap, so I'll always have that option as a last resort- I wont go homeless, thats now for sure. Iv just got to wait and see how may emails I get over the next few days..... the waitings the worst! I dont want to jump into anything too fast, but if i dont i may miss my chance!! Iv also emailed me tutor abotu long extentions for my essays; we'll see what he says, but I dont see how they could turn me down...

David- yes, my mum used to say that he had been violent towards her once (like a one off incedent) and my sister, but i never wanted to believe it. Its such a dissapointment to know that hes the bastard that family have been tyring to convince me of for years.

I was thinkg that i could still go to the police and report it- but would i not loose credibilty as it was a few days ago? they may think that im making it up etc... also, im now in edinburgh and it happened in another area of Scotland, meaning that I'll be dealing with another section of the police. And what would it acheive? Im think of taking lkegal action against him for refusing to pay axccomodation for the next two years- if he keep[s his new job that he starts in May, he will certainly be able to afford it. HPMH!

Ruth · Post by **Ruth** » Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:24 pm

Blimey

You really have worked hard to find a place, no stone left unturned. Well done! As you are currently safe where you are it probably is wise to just wait until all the available places have contacted you until you make a decision. Where are you staying at the moment?

Keep us posted , Ive been thinking of you!

monkey · Post by **monkey** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:49 am

what he did was very wrong. he shold not have done that to you. that is not nice. i hope tath you find a safe place soon.

fuzzy · Post by **fuzzy** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 2:01 pm

Ruth- Staying at home (as in my mum's at Edinburgh- thats where I was brought up, but go to uni in Aberdeen) for the holidays. I have only had one positive email back so far; its living with a 16 year old boy tho which I am not overly comfortable with. I have the number to call so im going to call tonight. The thing is- I dont want to arrnage to have to go up to Aberdeen to see the one place just to come back down again. I was hoping that id have more replies today but i havent got any!!!

What IM going to do is make a veiwing appointment (if it sounds suitabekl over the phone) for next week some time so that I have tiome to arrange other vewings etc if anything else comes up. I have also had an offer from a friend from photo soc at uni to stay with him- they could make a temp room out of the dining room- but its far out, so although the rent is cheap, you still have bills and travelling expenses (which wil cost a fortiune- he has a car but wont always be around the same time as me- and the bus stop is a mile and a half from the house on a muddy track!!) So will just have to ull it all over......

Monkey- yeah I know its pretty awful, some holiday, eh?!

Fuzz

Ruth · Post by **Ruth** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:00 pm

sounds like an excellent plan to view next week hope some more replies come through soon. When do you go back?

Glad you're at your mums what's her take on this? did lou hear about extensions yet? do you have much work to do over the break? (I've got a hard essay which I'm avoiding which is probably why I'm spending so much time here.)

thinking of you. keep us posted

Tortoise · Post by **Tortoise** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:04 am

Hey Fuzzy,

I'm really sorry to read about what an extremely challenging time you're having at the moment. I hope that once you get through/over/around this major hurdle things will start getting better for you.

Good luck.

nick · Post by **nick** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 3:08 pm

hi fuzzy realy sorry to hear about your troubles. when a man hits a woman it is unforgivable but when a father hits his daughter it is heartbreaking. i have no advise to offer about accomodation but problems around accomodation have a habit of getting sorted so i am sure that you will find somewhere good.

as far as reporting your father to the police- i have no doubt that they would take your complaint seriouselly but its difficult to say if it would be the best thing to do, in the longterm. that is something that only you would be able to answer.

my accomodation is **** because i'm in halls of residents and i hate it. but come the end of the academic year i'll be out hunting for a place. so you are not alone in being unsettled in accomodation front.

towildhoney · Post by **towildhoney** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 8:19 pm

Poor you

Its awful to have such serious problems with your family. Why are you so reluctant to go into halls? I would have thought its the best wasy to get around paying Summer rent.

fuzzy · Post by **fuzzy** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 3:21 pm

Hey all

Im relucantant to go into halls coz iv been there before- halls is the sort of experience where you do it once and dont want to do it again. In a year or so's time youll think, 'god, how did i tlerate such bad conditions/ so much noise etc'? But yeah, your right, it is a good way of avioding summer rent and is reitavely cheap too, as well as central. Iv got a couplke of leads in the pipeline, though. Im following up two seperate ppl with accomodation that thier willing to lease short term to me. Theyr central and about the same as halls- actually thier more expensive, but you get what you pay for, and i think that right now its important thqat i dont go somewhere where i think ill be unhappy; iv had enough of **** living arrangements to last me a lifetime!! So im gonna call these two girls and see aboiut arrangeing a veiwing, which'll mean having to go up maybe on friday/ thrusday. So we'r getting there!!! I texted my dad yesterday with a date and time when i will pick my things up. However, he has yet to get back to me and i have every confidence that he will make things as awkard for me as possoible; thats the sort of person he is. He wont get back to me for ages and when he does, it may be too late to change plans/ unsuitable for my family who are helpoing me to move out. GGGGRRRRRRRR

NEhoo, thats me news; hope you are all well, dearly beloved!!!

fuzzy · Post by **fuzzy** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:12 pm

Ok everythings sorted- Im going up to Aberdeen on Friday with two friends to veiw two seperate places, so if everything ggoes to plan, I'll have a place sorted for going back to for the new term on the 17th of April by this Saturday. Phew!