So I was officially diagnosed on thursday, and since I was 5 have been told I have Dyscalcuia. But now I know otherwise.
14 years a bit late.
But anyway, so I started university late September. I was counting down the start date for months and was so excited, despite originally thinking "i was too stupid for uni" but now I am thinking that the course I was told about originally is completely mis-advertised. We barely have practical sessions and the lecturers are so unmotivated and dull around the topic area. There is virtually no support for disability that i'm aware of. I know there is a dyslexia centre but its strictly for that. There isn't much assignment support in general either and i've been avoiding my first assignment for 4 weeks and its due in on tue.
I haven't done it because i'm unsure if i want to even stay past christmas. I don't want to let people down but deep down i know it isnt for me. I get really depressed and lonely here and the weeks of being "socially pressured" into going out and meeting new people and drinking have if anything, made me retreat more into my shell. Don't get me wrong I've made so many friends here and some of the parties are really fun because I never used to be invited to anything at home. But now I am worrying what I will do at home as there aren't many jobs and I really want to save for an intern-ship.
Does anyone have any advice on university, and if they found it hard etc? Thanks
Should I stay at Uni or should I go?
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GenuineAndJosh
- Getting settled in
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 12:08 pm
- Location: Westbury, Wiltshire
Re: Should I stay at Uni or should I go?
Hi Germz
I'm sorry that you were given a wrong diagnosis’, at least on the positive side you have been accurately diagnosed recently, it's better than getting the accurate diagnoses’ much later on in life or never. Also I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling with uni and the situation it has put you in, I've been in a similar situation and wanted to give you my advice which I hope in some way it'll help you.
Since I left school, I went straight into college as my dream was to work with animals either in a very big zoo or a safari park where the animal's welfare and natural behaviours were taken into account and was always the number one priority so they are being well looked after and all their needs are well met. When I did my National Diploma (similar to a three A level course) in Animal Management course for a couple years, despite the harsh and hurtful bullying I got from both the students in my small group and a couple of tutors, I somehow managed to focus all my energy and thought on my work even if it was very hard (I seem to very good on the theory side of the course but not good on the practical side especially if not given so much practise) and left with a Triple Distinction which I was ever so proud off.
I was then hoping to study a degree at Newquay Uni as it was right next to Newquay Zoo and it ticked so many boxes into getting towards my dream. However at the very last minute I was declined because I didn't have the appropriate Maths grade (I was terrible Maths while at school and never understood it until recently) and I had everything all prepared for it including student finance and even my own accommodation, I didn’t give up without a fight but they still stuck by their decision and couldn't accept me unless I got at least a Level 2 Key Skills Functional Maths, of course at first I was so down about it but now I see it as a blessing in disguise. The reasons for this is because, it was after I finished my Animal Management course, someone mentioned the word Dyspraxia to me and after researching so much into it and showing it all to my parents, we all knew that's what I had as I never was diagnosed even though I showed a lot of the symptoms while growing up. At that point, I was all over the place as I finally got my answer after all this time of being confused and not knowing what was wrong with me and because of that being isolated from nearly everyone except my real parents; and I was trying to accept it and know how to live/cope with it so if I went down to uni while I was going through that stage in life, I wouldn’t have got through that uni degree and more than likely, would've made things much worse for me. Also I was still learning how to get used to live such as cooking, laundry and other household stuff you need to do while you're living your ow life away from your loved ones, also it gave me a chance to spend more time with my loved ones and be able to make very close friends for the first as I never had any friends while growing up and also spending time with my nephew who was born almost three years ago. Another couple of positive sides that came out of all of this is that I got a chance to give driving a go which I managed to pass first time back in August and I realised it was a big wide world out there and there are so many opportunities out there waiting to be discovered and you might come to realise you could have more than one dream and find something else you'll enjoy even more, which is what has just happened for me.
Where I live, you'll be very lucky to find a job in the area, and I don't know how I've been so lucky to get a job. What I did after I was declined at uni, three years ago, I applied for a part time Maths course at a local college which took me a couple years to get that Level 2 grade (another proud achievement), a few months after I started that Maths course I got a part time job as a evening kitchen assistant which I did for a year and a half. The reason I left was because around the time I left, I spent all my savings on buying my first car and was going to be doing my test soon, and what I was earning wasn’t enough to both keep me going and save up again. I didn’t think I was going to handle a full time job because of having Dyspraxia but I knew I had to do in order to earn a lot more again so I applied for a full time kitchen assistant at a business just outside of the area I live in which includes a pub, a farm shop, a brewery and a b&b which I started a few months ago. I got into that full time job because of the experience I got from my previous job, and despite I have my share of moments, overall I do enjoy it. While doing those two jobs, I got an interest in cooking and was considering going along that career route instead, however I had a change of heart when I started my new job as working under the chefs and seeing how they do their job, I knew there was no way I could handle it because of being on a very tight schedule, my hand co-ordination making it difficult for me to do food prep and using a lot of your short term memory. Lately, after giving it so much thought and doing a lot of research, I decided to try out becoming a teaching assistant to pupils who also have learning difficulties, it certainty ticks a lot of boxes for me in general and to suit my learning condition, and I'm trying to get into the first step by volunteering.
So basically my point is, if you don’t feel like your heart and mind is into this uni degree you're doing and it's not making you happy then don't feel ashamed into getting off that uni degree as you don’t want to lead a life of regret and knowing you'll be in debt to that uni, despite they don’t take it out until you are in a job where you're earning a lot but knowing you are paying back for a degree you didn't enjoy. I know that there could be disadvantages if you got off that degree and what other people will think of you but in the end it's entirely your decision and in time I strongly believe more positive experiences will come along your way and you'll find something that will make you happy, exactly how it all happened with me.
Whatever you decide to do in the end, I would like to wish you the very best of luck and take care.
I'm sorry that you were given a wrong diagnosis’, at least on the positive side you have been accurately diagnosed recently, it's better than getting the accurate diagnoses’ much later on in life or never. Also I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling with uni and the situation it has put you in, I've been in a similar situation and wanted to give you my advice which I hope in some way it'll help you.
Since I left school, I went straight into college as my dream was to work with animals either in a very big zoo or a safari park where the animal's welfare and natural behaviours were taken into account and was always the number one priority so they are being well looked after and all their needs are well met. When I did my National Diploma (similar to a three A level course) in Animal Management course for a couple years, despite the harsh and hurtful bullying I got from both the students in my small group and a couple of tutors, I somehow managed to focus all my energy and thought on my work even if it was very hard (I seem to very good on the theory side of the course but not good on the practical side especially if not given so much practise) and left with a Triple Distinction which I was ever so proud off.
I was then hoping to study a degree at Newquay Uni as it was right next to Newquay Zoo and it ticked so many boxes into getting towards my dream. However at the very last minute I was declined because I didn't have the appropriate Maths grade (I was terrible Maths while at school and never understood it until recently) and I had everything all prepared for it including student finance and even my own accommodation, I didn’t give up without a fight but they still stuck by their decision and couldn't accept me unless I got at least a Level 2 Key Skills Functional Maths, of course at first I was so down about it but now I see it as a blessing in disguise. The reasons for this is because, it was after I finished my Animal Management course, someone mentioned the word Dyspraxia to me and after researching so much into it and showing it all to my parents, we all knew that's what I had as I never was diagnosed even though I showed a lot of the symptoms while growing up. At that point, I was all over the place as I finally got my answer after all this time of being confused and not knowing what was wrong with me and because of that being isolated from nearly everyone except my real parents; and I was trying to accept it and know how to live/cope with it so if I went down to uni while I was going through that stage in life, I wouldn’t have got through that uni degree and more than likely, would've made things much worse for me. Also I was still learning how to get used to live such as cooking, laundry and other household stuff you need to do while you're living your ow life away from your loved ones, also it gave me a chance to spend more time with my loved ones and be able to make very close friends for the first as I never had any friends while growing up and also spending time with my nephew who was born almost three years ago. Another couple of positive sides that came out of all of this is that I got a chance to give driving a go which I managed to pass first time back in August and I realised it was a big wide world out there and there are so many opportunities out there waiting to be discovered and you might come to realise you could have more than one dream and find something else you'll enjoy even more, which is what has just happened for me.
Where I live, you'll be very lucky to find a job in the area, and I don't know how I've been so lucky to get a job. What I did after I was declined at uni, three years ago, I applied for a part time Maths course at a local college which took me a couple years to get that Level 2 grade (another proud achievement), a few months after I started that Maths course I got a part time job as a evening kitchen assistant which I did for a year and a half. The reason I left was because around the time I left, I spent all my savings on buying my first car and was going to be doing my test soon, and what I was earning wasn’t enough to both keep me going and save up again. I didn’t think I was going to handle a full time job because of having Dyspraxia but I knew I had to do in order to earn a lot more again so I applied for a full time kitchen assistant at a business just outside of the area I live in which includes a pub, a farm shop, a brewery and a b&b which I started a few months ago. I got into that full time job because of the experience I got from my previous job, and despite I have my share of moments, overall I do enjoy it. While doing those two jobs, I got an interest in cooking and was considering going along that career route instead, however I had a change of heart when I started my new job as working under the chefs and seeing how they do their job, I knew there was no way I could handle it because of being on a very tight schedule, my hand co-ordination making it difficult for me to do food prep and using a lot of your short term memory. Lately, after giving it so much thought and doing a lot of research, I decided to try out becoming a teaching assistant to pupils who also have learning difficulties, it certainty ticks a lot of boxes for me in general and to suit my learning condition, and I'm trying to get into the first step by volunteering.
So basically my point is, if you don’t feel like your heart and mind is into this uni degree you're doing and it's not making you happy then don't feel ashamed into getting off that uni degree as you don’t want to lead a life of regret and knowing you'll be in debt to that uni, despite they don’t take it out until you are in a job where you're earning a lot but knowing you are paying back for a degree you didn't enjoy. I know that there could be disadvantages if you got off that degree and what other people will think of you but in the end it's entirely your decision and in time I strongly believe more positive experiences will come along your way and you'll find something that will make you happy, exactly how it all happened with me.
Whatever you decide to do in the end, I would like to wish you the very best of luck and take care.
Re: Should I stay at Uni or should I go?
Thankyou ever so much for giving your experience with University, it was most helpful and eye-opening to read.
I also actually did a similar Animal Management course at college prior to beginning university and got the same grade, so thats pretty cool
Would you say you found it hard to make that final leaving decision? Everyone that i've spoken to from friends to my parents and lecturers are all persuading me to stay, but no-one is really acknowledging my reasons to leave. For example I told my mum a few weeks ago, and she's still not done anything about it i.e contacting university or finding out more information. It also feels like just when I make the decision to go something else convinces me otherwise and vice versa.
Its so confusingly hard. I don't want to jack it in and feel like i've wasted a life opportunity but then at the same time be forcing myself to continue with a course simply because I like the people and the area. Hmmm
I also actually did a similar Animal Management course at college prior to beginning university and got the same grade, so thats pretty cool
Would you say you found it hard to make that final leaving decision? Everyone that i've spoken to from friends to my parents and lecturers are all persuading me to stay, but no-one is really acknowledging my reasons to leave. For example I told my mum a few weeks ago, and she's still not done anything about it i.e contacting university or finding out more information. It also feels like just when I make the decision to go something else convinces me otherwise and vice versa.
Its so confusingly hard. I don't want to jack it in and feel like i've wasted a life opportunity but then at the same time be forcing myself to continue with a course simply because I like the people and the area. Hmmm
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screengreen
- Power poster
- Posts: 212
- Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 8:39 pm
Re: Should I stay at Uni or should I go?
Hi
Sounds like you need a sounding board and some head space. Does your Uni have a counselling service? if so it may be worth making use of them before you leave to explore your reasons for wanting to leave and to be sure that if/when you finally go that you have made the right decision, its a big decision and only you can make it, but a counsellor will be able to listen and challenge any inconsistencies in your thinking so that what ever you decide [ and the counsellor would not give advice] you know you've made the right decision.
Sounds like you need a sounding board and some head space. Does your Uni have a counselling service? if so it may be worth making use of them before you leave to explore your reasons for wanting to leave and to be sure that if/when you finally go that you have made the right decision, its a big decision and only you can make it, but a counsellor will be able to listen and challenge any inconsistencies in your thinking so that what ever you decide [ and the counsellor would not give advice] you know you've made the right decision.
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GenuineAndJosh
- Getting settled in
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 12:08 pm
- Location: Westbury, Wiltshire
Re: Should I stay at Uni or should I go?
Your very welcome and I'm glad my advice has been helpful and useful for you.
That's really cool you did a smilar course as me and even got the same grade, we sure do have something else in common May I ask you what uni degree you're doing and thinking about getting out off?
Well I didn't exactly leave, I had my interview with uni a month or so before I finished my Animal Management course and they said they can take me on because of my predicated overall course grade. It was only a couple weeks before I was due to start at uni, that I found out I didn't get the required Maths grade so I rang them up to give them a heads up, as I was told at my interview I could retake my Maths down at uni, however this person I spoke to on the phone told me they couldn't take me on due to me not getting the Maths grade I needed. Beacuse of what I was told at my interview, that's why I remained so positive about it all and when they told me before I was due to start, I found it so hard and was a real dissapointment as I was so convinced at that time I was heading off to uni and didn't have a back up plan. However as I mentioned earlier, I see it now as a blessing in disguise as I believe I wasn't ready for it and I managed to achieve so much by not going to uni and now having my mind and heart on a different career path I feel so positive about and really want to try.
That's good that you've spoken to a lot of people including your lectuerers as well as the people close to you about why you want to leave uni but I can't believe they're not really taking your choice and reasons why into account, it's just not right. I agree with what screengreen has mentioned, you need some head space as you're stuck in the middle with your two options and if your uni does have a counselling service, it could be worth having a chat with them before you make your final decison as they do listen to you and let you consider your options, of course not giving you advice, just to let you know what your options are and make sure you know what your choices are. I know it is very hard and confusing for you, but in the end its purely your choice and not anybody else's and you've got to do what's right for you and no one else.
That's really cool you did a smilar course as me and even got the same grade, we sure do have something else in common
May I ask you what uni degree you're doing and thinking about getting out off?Well I didn't exactly leave, I had my interview with uni a month or so before I finished my Animal Management course and they said they can take me on because of my predicated overall course grade. It was only a couple weeks before I was due to start at uni, that I found out I didn't get the required Maths grade so I rang them up to give them a heads up, as I was told at my interview I could retake my Maths down at uni, however this person I spoke to on the phone told me they couldn't take me on due to me not getting the Maths grade I needed. Beacuse of what I was told at my interview, that's why I remained so positive about it all and when they told me before I was due to start, I found it so hard and was a real dissapointment as I was so convinced at that time I was heading off to uni and didn't have a back up plan. However as I mentioned earlier, I see it now as a blessing in disguise as I believe I wasn't ready for it and I managed to achieve so much by not going to uni and now having my mind and heart on a different career path I feel so positive about and really want to try.
That's good that you've spoken to a lot of people including your lectuerers as well as the people close to you about why you want to leave uni but I can't believe they're not really taking your choice and reasons why into account, it's just not right. I agree with what screengreen has mentioned, you need some head space as you're stuck in the middle with your two options and if your uni does have a counselling service, it could be worth having a chat with them before you make your final decison as they do listen to you and let you consider your options, of course not giving you advice, just to let you know what your options are and make sure you know what your choices are. I know it is very hard and confusing for you, but in the end its purely your choice and not anybody else's and you've got to do what's right for you and no one else.