Studying Architecture
Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 10:54 am
Hello all,
I'm currently studying Architecture (and Planning, it's a dual course).
I have ADHD and Dyspraxia. My ADHD has always bothered me, I didn't really know I had dyspraxia. I knew there was something, but I didn't have it diagnosed and in the US, there was something called Non Verbal Learning Disorder (I studied in the US for a bit, I'm not American) which was suggested and I kind of picked up. I thought it might be dyscalculia but I'm not bad with numbers, I just flip them around sometimes (kind of dyslexia) and I'm not bad at reading maps. My dyspraxia is not that bad but I think the ADHD and dyspraxia are forming some kind of unholy alliance. My ADHD seems severe and I'm taking medication which keeps getting changed as it doesn't seem to work. I managed to get put on dexedrine after many years on ritalin. And on medication, I've graduated to ADHD mild and certainly not like those I hear who get super focus.
I'm not too bad with gross motor movements. I have done karate since I was 12, and I think that's really helped me. I bump into things, spill things from time to time, but I can handle that. The fine motor skills are more my problem. I'm not bad with writing though it hurts if I have to write for a long time and am able to use computers in exams. I'm a touch typist. I've worked as a receptionist and a PA(!!!!!) and used to work in call centres so computers I'm fine with. I'm very disorganised and find it difficult to structure essays and I'm always struggling with deadlines. It takes me longer to start everything. And we used to have more flexible deadlines but they've stopped that.
I started this course 2 years ago and I've been having great difficulty passing my design studios ie I haven't. I'm now going into my 3rd year of my 4th year course and I've failed Design studio twice but I get a third try for my 3rd year. But I'll have to take 2 years out part time to do design studio 2 and 3 and then the 3rd year do design studio 4. So adding 2 extra years.
I know many of the tutors and advisors would suggest that I stop the Architecture bit and just do the planning. I like planning and enjoy it but I came onto the course because of both the Architecture and Planning. I'm now 30 years old. If I was 19 or 20, I would do the recommended course of action and go back into Architecture later. But like I said I'm 30, and this is my second attempt at university. I failed last time studying Computer Information Systems and Tourism mostly because my ADHD was dragging me down and being assaulted was the final straw and I couldn't take it.
I felt relief that I didn't have to finish Computers and was bored of it. I was having difficulties with making programs, I couldn't do it, I occassionally managed to dream up the code and do it. Seriously. I would stare and stare and couldn't figure what to do, try and plug at it for days but nothing. The night before, due to panic and increased levels of dopamine and adrenaline, I would see the entire program, write it down. I would look at it in the morning, have no clue what it all meant, but since I had no other option, I would have to present it in class and it will work but I don't know how or why. If that sort of thing happened more often, it would be fine. But I would fully understand for a few hours and back into the cloud again.
But I do want to do this course but I'm having such difficulties. It's so frustrating, I'm not stupid and though I was secretly wondering about that over the past 2 years, I finally got my dyspraxia assessment and that was not the problem at all and I was even surprised.
My dyspraxia is really flaring up. We have to do lots of models in the class, and drawing and cutting and gluing and drawing straight lines. And my other issue is time management, being able to do things on time, knowing what to do, not feeling overwhelmed, knowing where to start, I can sit down for 2 hours, stare, and stare and do absolutely nothing. They say just start, but lots of times, I'm not starting well, I'm wasting my time on things that later I look back and think why did I do that for 2 hours, it's now obvious I shouldn't be doing that. Starting something is good but when you consistently waste time doing wrong things, it's inefficient and it's also making me more anxious.
I don't know what to do. I've wondered whether I should just quit because try as I have, I can't seem to find anyone who is an architect and dyspraxic though I think there are some who are ADHD but can't find them either. Maybe architecture is for smug, rich neurotypicals and I should just go away leaving them to smirk at me. Yea, I also work part time but I'm reducing some hours for next hour and yes, yes to the 20th power of yes, if I weren't working, it would help a lot, I know that but I have to work.
Any advice, views, opinions would be welcome.
I'm currently studying Architecture (and Planning, it's a dual course).
I have ADHD and Dyspraxia. My ADHD has always bothered me, I didn't really know I had dyspraxia. I knew there was something, but I didn't have it diagnosed and in the US, there was something called Non Verbal Learning Disorder (I studied in the US for a bit, I'm not American) which was suggested and I kind of picked up. I thought it might be dyscalculia but I'm not bad with numbers, I just flip them around sometimes (kind of dyslexia) and I'm not bad at reading maps. My dyspraxia is not that bad but I think the ADHD and dyspraxia are forming some kind of unholy alliance. My ADHD seems severe and I'm taking medication which keeps getting changed as it doesn't seem to work. I managed to get put on dexedrine after many years on ritalin. And on medication, I've graduated to ADHD mild and certainly not like those I hear who get super focus.
I'm not too bad with gross motor movements. I have done karate since I was 12, and I think that's really helped me. I bump into things, spill things from time to time, but I can handle that. The fine motor skills are more my problem. I'm not bad with writing though it hurts if I have to write for a long time and am able to use computers in exams. I'm a touch typist. I've worked as a receptionist and a PA(!!!!!) and used to work in call centres so computers I'm fine with. I'm very disorganised and find it difficult to structure essays and I'm always struggling with deadlines. It takes me longer to start everything. And we used to have more flexible deadlines but they've stopped that.
I started this course 2 years ago and I've been having great difficulty passing my design studios ie I haven't. I'm now going into my 3rd year of my 4th year course and I've failed Design studio twice but I get a third try for my 3rd year. But I'll have to take 2 years out part time to do design studio 2 and 3 and then the 3rd year do design studio 4. So adding 2 extra years.
I know many of the tutors and advisors would suggest that I stop the Architecture bit and just do the planning. I like planning and enjoy it but I came onto the course because of both the Architecture and Planning. I'm now 30 years old. If I was 19 or 20, I would do the recommended course of action and go back into Architecture later. But like I said I'm 30, and this is my second attempt at university. I failed last time studying Computer Information Systems and Tourism mostly because my ADHD was dragging me down and being assaulted was the final straw and I couldn't take it.
I felt relief that I didn't have to finish Computers and was bored of it. I was having difficulties with making programs, I couldn't do it, I occassionally managed to dream up the code and do it. Seriously. I would stare and stare and couldn't figure what to do, try and plug at it for days but nothing. The night before, due to panic and increased levels of dopamine and adrenaline, I would see the entire program, write it down. I would look at it in the morning, have no clue what it all meant, but since I had no other option, I would have to present it in class and it will work but I don't know how or why. If that sort of thing happened more often, it would be fine. But I would fully understand for a few hours and back into the cloud again.
But I do want to do this course but I'm having such difficulties. It's so frustrating, I'm not stupid and though I was secretly wondering about that over the past 2 years, I finally got my dyspraxia assessment and that was not the problem at all and I was even surprised.
My dyspraxia is really flaring up. We have to do lots of models in the class, and drawing and cutting and gluing and drawing straight lines. And my other issue is time management, being able to do things on time, knowing what to do, not feeling overwhelmed, knowing where to start, I can sit down for 2 hours, stare, and stare and do absolutely nothing. They say just start, but lots of times, I'm not starting well, I'm wasting my time on things that later I look back and think why did I do that for 2 hours, it's now obvious I shouldn't be doing that. Starting something is good but when you consistently waste time doing wrong things, it's inefficient and it's also making me more anxious.
I don't know what to do. I've wondered whether I should just quit because try as I have, I can't seem to find anyone who is an architect and dyspraxic though I think there are some who are ADHD but can't find them either. Maybe architecture is for smug, rich neurotypicals and I should just go away leaving them to smirk at me. Yea, I also work part time but I'm reducing some hours for next hour and yes, yes to the 20th power of yes, if I weren't working, it would help a lot, I know that but I have to work.
Any advice, views, opinions would be welcome.