Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

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Xistens
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Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by Xistens »

I have started a new training today, a one-year television journalism training that I looked forward to a long time. The school seems great, the teachers I've ever met are nice and we are a small class of six people and everyone seems nice. Yet it feels as if everyone can see that there is something "with me and it's very uncomfortable. My social phobia (which I am unaware of so often these days) is stronger than it usually is, and it inhibits me.

I'm so tired of it always like this, and I always feel different in any context because of my practical difficulties, and above all that I see that others are noticing my problem in principle as soon as I enter a room. I know they see it in how I put up my hair (I can not do it properly but it will be ugly and uneven although I just made an ordinary hairstyle with fringe), how I painted my nails, how I pull out the chair, how to pick up my stuff, how I move ... yes, everything. I am afraid that the teachers see it too, and if they do; how should I get a job in the future?

I'm looking forward to "my" piece of the education, the journalism piece, but I'm terrified about all the practical things around. Tomorrow we will begin to learn to handle cameras and I really want to learn, but what if I fail to understand how to do? What if I break a camera? They cost many thousands and the first impression you make is very important and probably decisive for the whole program because it is a gateway into the television industry. I really want to become a TV host, that's my dream, but now I've realized that my dyspraxia is likely to destroy that too. What should I do? Should I tell about my problem if something goes very wrong? I have no formal diagnosis yet but will do an investigation, starting on Friday.
Osymandus
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by Osymandus »

Your projecting possible worse case scenarios , which most likley will never happen . Its a training course , if something breaks they get an engineer to replace or repair (same as real life (i have been that IT enginner and AV guy fixing video conference for high level business meetings ))

Teachers are there to help and guide if not they fail . You are their student, no matter what issue yo think you have they must teach and help you .

Its easy to say but having Dyslexia , Dyspraxia and depression (im a wow at parties you know ) im aware of a few things . Try and get to see a councilor to get some advice for boosting your confidence .

first impressions are only lasting by the foolish teh wise know change occurs in everyone .
Captain_Ludd
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by Captain_Ludd »

Dont loose hart,

A surprisingly large number of celebs and TV personalities have dyslexia/dyspraxia and or some other Specific Learning Difficulties try looking here: http://www.xtraordinarypeople.com/celebrity/ if they made it SO CAN YOU.
It also sounds to me like there's a certain amount of "First day jitters" which is natural, dont expect to walk in and do everything perfectly first time and then stress because you cant(something I do myself), if you could do that there'd be no need for the course in the first place.

P.S Sponge Bob rules ;) .
Xistens
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by Xistens »

Thank you for your advices, both of you :)

I have to look at that xtraordniary people-site! Perhaps it can pep me during hard days.

I've got two weeks of training now and the first thing we had to do was to learn how the camera works and to bring light. It's really hard for me to understand the camera, not least to manage it and the light is also very difficult. The first week I cried almost every day when I got home, I felt completely hopeless. A guy in the class condemned me and asked why I did not focus on my acting instead and I was feeling really bad about what he said because one week is NOTHING!

Last week, I've felt much better because I started to think like this: I'm in this training because I want to become a TV-host, not because I want to be a photographer or reporter. I have a disability that makes me find it hard to learn practical things but it's actually not the whole world. I do my best and some things I can make if I train twice as hard. Other things I cannot make but these things are not the things I want to work with later in life. In fact, there is one thing that is great with having dyspraxia and it is that things only get easier and easier because the carreer ladder is upside down :)
agsiul
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by agsiul »

Don't worry too much. If it weren't for the fact that I'm so stuborn and get bored easily I wouldn't have fought to get the things done that I wanted to do. By rights with my problems I shouldn't have achieved what I did up till now. I had to do my degree without help, lived in Australia, Japan, New Zealand and Eastern Europe. I don't deny that every time I changed jobs, started doing something new, went looking for a new job, moved to a new place, etc. I didn't have a seizure but the sense of achievement is unreal when you succeed. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do what you want to do especially yourself & family members! You are entitled to have a dream and go for it. I tired to do all of it on my own initially but I found out later that there are a plenty of people who are willing to help when you ask.
lauraECFan
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by lauraECFan »

Don't let your dyspraxia get you down. I always say if you got a dream chase it, catch it and never let go of it.

Hope this helped :banana: :evilb: :banana:
Animal lover forever
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Live for today :)
if you have a dream chase it catch it and never let go of it
Tim G
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by Tim G »

Laura and the other coments people have said are right - you should chase it and aim for it, espshlie when you in education as this is the time to learn and do things. - Its a good oppertunitie so try and make the most of it and not let others put you down but i do understand - it is a lot harder said then done.

I think that a formal digignosis will help as this will enable you to prove that you do have a dysablitie and need extra help and support etc. Even if you dont have this go to your tutor, dysabltie officer / department of student services and talk to them about this and what they can do and there advice etc.

It could also be a opotion of seeing a councler regualrly to help you through things - the collage will probably have one or could be able to provide one.
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Catwoman42
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by Catwoman42 »

Please, please don't give up! I want to do a course and money is my big stumbling block, but please don't let anyone put you down, you have just as much right to be there as anyone else. And your dyspraxia gives you a different perspective. Get stuck in!
lauraECFan
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by lauraECFan »

Catwoman42 wrote:Please, please don't give up! I want to do a course and money is my big stumbling block, but please don't let anyone put you down, you have just as much right to be there as anyone else. And your dyspraxia gives you a different perspective. Get stuck in!
You are right in my veiw anybody who looks down on us because we are different are not worth knowing at all anyway just remember that our dyspraxia makes us unique in our own way :grin:

:banana: :evilb: :banana:
Animal lover forever
Bookworm forever
Live for today :)
if you have a dream chase it catch it and never let go of it
HidTooLong
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by HidTooLong »

One thing I've found about dyspraxia is that it gives you amazing analytical skills. That can be a good and bad thing. You can start analysing what everyone else is thinking but lets face it, others body language isn't our forte. Its common that you can think others are picking up on this, and you might be right, but it also might be that you're projecting your fear.
Think of how those analytical skills are going to help you in the future. I find I don't see the obvious but I do see the abstract. Imagine you're interviewing a high profile person on a difficult subject. Probability is that you'll have the obvious questions on a prompter or cards, anything obvious that comes up to add in will come in your earpiece. The abstract questions that no one else will come from you; from your thought process. Every journalist will cover the obvious, and they will be just part of the pack. The obscure angle, the difficult questions and the abstract is what will get you noticed. And lets face it, social graces isn't our strength either so if you embrace that too, you won't be worried about asking those questions your guest will find uncomfortable to answer.

I hope this helps. Never shy from a dream. Whatever your strengths and weaknesses, embrace them both and make them work for you.
jad101
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by jad101 »

my strength in dyspraxia is my vocabulary ( i was said to be at a univerisity standard vocabulary in year 11) but my physical and writing ability is terrible its hinders my skill. i wanted to work in marketing or in pr but my organisational skills due to dyspraxia have hindered that.i would love to be a motivational speaker or some sort of speaking role or job but i need to find the right path for me.
lauraECFan
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by lauraECFan »

jad101 wrote:my strength in dyspraxia is my vocabulary ( i was said to be at a univerisity standard vocabulary in year 11) but my physical and writing ability is terrible its hinders my skill. i wanted to work in marketing or in pr but my organisational skills due to dyspraxia have hindered that.i would love to be a motivational speaker or some sort of speaking role or job but i need to find the right path for me.
How about a tour guide or something? That seems an appropriate job if you are good at speaking.
Animal lover forever
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Live for today :)
if you have a dream chase it catch it and never let go of it
jad101
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by jad101 »

ive never thought about that lol, but dont you have to speak another language if i was to do it in england?
lauraECFan
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Re: Afraid that my dyspraxia will destroy my dream

Post by lauraECFan »

jad101 wrote:ive never thought about that lol, but dont you have to speak another language if i was to do it in england?
not necessarily I went on a tour in corfu in greece and the tour guide spoke in english and no other language (except maybe to the driver of the coach) so you should be able to get away with one language though it may be useful to maybe take classes in other languages if you feel that it is required. Otherwise you should be ok being a one language tour guide
Animal lover forever
Bookworm forever
Live for today :)
if you have a dream chase it catch it and never let go of it
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