How to drive better

Learning to drive, driving, and using public transport

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screengreen
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How to drive better

Post by screengreen » Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:34 pm

Feeling Fed up as I have just bumped my car for the second time this year, I have been tired and stressed but does anyone have any tips for improving my driving?

Tom fod
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Re: How to drive better

Post by Tom fod » Sun Nov 08, 2015 11:46 pm

Hi Screen

Not my area of expertise but sorry to hear of your mishap, I hope no one was harmed?
Without knowing more it would be wrong to apportion cause or blame to any one factor and I suspect there is no easy way to banish the cause of your tiredness and stress?
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

bely
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Re: How to drive better

Post by bely » Mon Nov 23, 2015 4:13 pm

hi,
writing here as i don't want to open a new thread with a very similar topic.
last week i caused an accident involving other 2 cars - no one harmed luckily - and since then my condition and the anxiety related to it, to driving and to anything practical i have to do is worsening every day:
- i have to drive because my husband and I work 90 (!) miles away and he doesn't drive due to another condition
- i'm not a UK native so got my EU licence driving on the right hand side and often have to switch (!!!)
- i'm already trying to put myself in the best possible conditions allowing plenty of time for each journey but the winter dark and rainy days aren't helping at all
- a few days before the accident my work contract was extended but since then i'm causing disasters due to anxiety and stress, and this happens also outside work and keep forgetting things, saying and doing inappropriate things and so on...my self-esteem is at record lows and don't know how to break out of this vicious circle ](*,)

Tom fod
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Re: How to drive better

Post by Tom fod » Wed Nov 25, 2015 12:33 am

Hi and welcome Bely

Apologies I can't really offer much on the driving front as I'm a non driver myself.

Is there anyone at work who you can speak to to explain that your having a difficult time personally and to hopefully give you some reassurance and look at lightening your workload (if you believe that's possible/appropriate). As an employer they have a duty of care.

Also Is there any scope for looking at relocation to be nearer where your jobs are to reduce the long commute each day?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

bely
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2015 4:35 am

Re: How to drive better

Post by bely » Wed Nov 25, 2015 10:44 am

Hi Tom
thanks for your kind reply. I'm not commuting every day, so far I have done it for a few days a week and starting from the next one I'll be renting a room & only seeing my husband in the weekend. I can't relocate, there is some chance for him in the future but not now. He is planning to ask for a shorter, more concentrated week so that in a few months we could keep my current location as our main place. As the room will be 3.5 miles from my workplace, I'm planning to run - it's the only sport my co-ordination issues allow me :rolleyes: and have been doing this for 2 years including a few half marathons - or bus+walk (no direct connection) when the weather will be extremely bad, I just want to reduce the amount of driving as much as I can.
I'm not officially diagnosed so my employer is not aware of that, but I show all the main symptoms in some way that - either because it's mild or because of the coping strategies developed over the years - I'm capable of doing anything if I take my time (driving on both sides I guess is pretty much of a challenge for everyone?) but this causes me an enormous amount of stress.
They know about the accident and so luckily not really pushing on me at the moment, I just feel so personally bad and am unable to talk about this feeling to anyone, let alone them - I don't want to give the impression they've taken on board a problematic person. What makes me anxious is also the feeling that I don't get back their real idea about me when I do small stupid things, this is a common English trait I have always had trouble to deal with since I have been here :whistle:
Don't know if getting a formal diagnosis would help me in any way, the only thing I know is that now -considering the car repairing, insurance, room deposit&first month rent and so on- I don't have money for that! (God knows why it's so expensive??) But if you or any reader think it would be of any help, I'll keep this option for the next future?

bely
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Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2015 4:35 am

Re: How to drive better

Post by bely » Thu Nov 26, 2015 12:31 pm

this one is from yesterday.
In the morning my satnav had a weird automatic reset "to load new maps". I didn't notice anything until yesterday evening before leaving for the usual 90 miles (I have a courtesy car this week) I have done sooooo many times. Then the device didn't show the usual route and didn't mention the motorway. I started anyway, thinking that it was just a matter of setup "fastest route" vs "less miles" and that it would have re-calculated the route. When I was about to leave the first motorway after 30 miles, it was still behaving crazy (not recognising the M6 at all!!!) so I decided to stop and try to fix it. Unfortunately the services were on the other side, so when I started again the satnav still didn't see the motorway and I was unable to get back in it and not even to reconnect me somehow with the route I SHOULD now know (but obviously I don't). Ended up in the countryside.
90 miles became 3 hours as I got out of Staffordshire only thanks to the last 10% battery of my mobile and google maps otherwise I would be still there today.
So tired of myself. ](*,)

Tom fod
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Re: How to drive better

Post by Tom fod » Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:37 am

Please don't beat yourself. You wouldn't be the first or last person to get lost because of technology (satnav) not working as it should. I think a lot of people would find themselves in the same position had the same happened to them. It being dark early only adds to the sense of panic. I think it is an idea to familiarise yourself with the route and keep a list of places/roads/junctions you need to pass through/along as backup if technology decides not to work.

Obtaining a formal diagnosis as an adult can be difficult or next to impossible. it can be useful in the sense that it might help you accept. Equally it could be used in your defence against discrimination but if you had an employer like that it may be better just to take your services elsewhere to an employer who values you for your strengths and is willing to be flexible and help you to do things differently as long as the desired end result is still attained. Some employers are good, some not so good and others well . .

Some employers will want to see evidence of formal diagnosis and to have a professional opinion on the level of help they should be offering. It is often difficult to ask for help and put into words what it is you need without incorrect assumptions being made about capability. Having an assessment if you can find/afford it or get it funded (you never know your employer may be willing to help), a formal assessment helps clarify to the employer what they should be doing to help get the best from you as an employee. They have a responsibility to do this. Sometimes all it needs is a few small changes to make things easier/better for all.

I think people in general focus on others mistakes as a way to distract attention away from their own. Please don't feel it is your 'being problematic' that is the only issue and sometimes asking directly where and how can I improve could elicit some useful answers from the right people if asked in the right way at the right time. Please don't allow yourself to suffer or blame yourself totally for all that goes wrong or is difficult.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

bely
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2015 4:35 am

Re: How to drive better

Post by bely » Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:33 pm

thanks Tom.
i think not blaming myself for every little thing is the hardest part. At the moment it's also quite hard for me to even think about asking for help. But I guess I'm going OT and having to open/reply to another thread in the work section. Getting back IT, just got my car back from repair & have to travel tomorrow. Friday traffic scares me the most as I have 3 motorways to enter and it's hard when you also have distance judging issues (esp. in the dark). :rolleyes:
When I came to the UK 3 years ago I had ~10 (!) "refresher" driving lessons - afraid of confusing left and right and needing to learn to use the gear with the left hand. Thinking about having some more.

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