Do people with Dyspraxia need to be encouraged to travel?

[helpmybro]

Hi, My brother has aspergers and dyspraxia. I can’t help but feeling that my Dad is halting his independence. My brother has travelled to london with my dad on average evey month to spend the weekend with our mum since he was 6 my mum met them in london as the half way point and took him to her home on the Isle of Wight. Since my brother was fifteen he has travelled to the Isle of Wight from london alone (thanks to my mum encouraging his independence) this involves a coach and then getting onto a cat across to the island. He is now 20 and my dad still say's that he is not ready to travel to london alone (1 train, no changes, no underground) "london is a scary place" dad said. I think my brother is capable of doing this alone easily. I asked my dad when was the last time he asked my brother if he thought he could do it alone and he replied the last time they went my brother said he preferred to have dad with him. My dad said he doesn't want to push him to do something that he's not comfortable with. I replied that sometimes everyone needs to be pushed a little, he replied "EVERYONE DOESN'T HAVE ASPERGERS". My brother was pushed slightly to do the second part of the journey alone and is fine with it. Is it true that you shouldn't push someone how has asperges to be more independent?

[Shadwell]

in referance to the subject title, Do people with Dyspraxia need to be encouraged to travel? then for me personally then it is a 2 bladed sword, like I would travel, but also prefere the company. like done the Isle of Wight from South Wales 5 times camping, and 99 - 03 by myself, but I travel back ok. I do tend to pick my trains so that I am doing changes at train stations I know.

I do prefere driving it more though, and done the journey by myself. but at the same time would much rather have friends with me for the chat and stuff, otherwise there isn't much point in me going, so I tend to put it off.

as for aspergers doing it, then I am not sure, I think they would probably want people they know around them a lot more. and need that extra push to get them out of the door. I don't think your father needs to go quite as far as 1/2 way, but if it is what your brother is happy with, then I can't see that it should be any problem.

if your brother was protesting about your father joining him, as in a break for independance then I think it would be a problem.

[Steven]

The diagnosis of developmental dyspraxia has existed for over a century. However, there has often been disagreement among professionals as to exactly what signs constitute a definite diagnosis of this disorder.

[jainmarshall]

I think you probably want people who know much more about him. and need that extra push to get out the door. I do not think your father has to go as far as 1/2 way, but if that's what your brother is happy, then I can see that there should be no problem.

[Spinellie]

In regards to your titled question , I've never had an issue with traveling alone, in fact I actually prefer it. I'm quite 'the loner' type (hehe) , um even as a kid - my parents never had to push me into traveling on my own ,that may sound dodgy but a 2hr bus or train journey isn't much (at the age of 6 -15) knowing that there's someone on the other side. From the age of 15 on I traveled outside of Ireland on my own, and my parents were yes anxious as most parents would be (for 15 is quite young imo),but they knew I'm aware of my surroundings (one issue i dont seem to have a prob with having dyspraxia) and they knew I was quite the independent type in terms of traveling. In terms of independence and having a parent who is seemingly clingling on , i'm sure that is out of fear - we fear for those we love, and I guess as a parent it's magnetized - my mum is quite like your father ,in terms of going 'that extra mile to ensure the safety of their child' ,regardless that your brother is now adult.

I can see where your father is coming from and I can see where your coming from, both are concerned family members. I've previously worked with people with austism on all [the] spectrums , but it's all down to that person - it really is.

I remember working with two adults who had Asperges ,one female one male,both the same age (19) and one was more independent than the other. One actually had a pushy parent and family who wanted them to be MORE independent than what they were and the other persons parents and extended family were neither pushy nor not pushy.

I would advise that you speak to your brother as this IS about him,and I don't think it's fair you communicating about him behind his back to your father. I'm not being nasty but put yourself in your brothers position, see what your brother thinks/feels and go from that, but remember your father is just being protective you cannot fault him on that.

It may be a little bit strong/clingy for you personally ,but you never know your brother may find it comforting. Traveling alone regardless of your mental state can be nervous and cause panic attacks, it's nice to know someone is there with you on those 'bad days'. Best of luck with it all, I hope you get the answers you're looking for Ellie.

[JVJ24601]

I've known someone with aspergers since I was in sixth form some 12 years ago (we were kind of pushed together in learning support, despite the fact that we had very little in common except needing learning support). He is 30 and has never held down a job and has, as far as I know, never traveled independently or lived away from home. The trouble is, when their offspring have problems coping and especially if they are being bullied at school or work, they can go into overprotective mode and stop them from advancing in life.
I've been horrified to look upon this slow motion train-wreck of a life unfolding before my eyes, because this guy's parents aren't in the best of health, and what is going to happen when they are dead and he is an unemployable middle-aged man with no-one? Yes, I think your dad needs to push him outside of his comfort zone, for his own sake. This situation will only get worse as he gets older unless he is pushed to get out and become more independent.