Moved in with partner
Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:41 pm
I was not diagnosed until 30. I am now 34. We were together 3 months and decided I would move down to live with my partner from another part of the UK, so she could be nearer her 17 and 18 year old (who don't live with her.) I was always up for being with someone with children, but I went into the relationship knowing they were a bit older and moved in at a time when it was just to be us. I may have not done it so quick had I knew the dynamic was different. Her son has Aspergers and rarely goes out, now there is a chance he may move in permanently. Some points with her children I agree with, others I don't but who am I to interfere? Am there to support. Her daughter has caused a lot of problems recently. I met all her family between October when I moved in and chistmas. I just feel like so overwhelmed and like I am yet to even start settling in. She says she doesn't really understand, because I had always wanted a relationship, now am with someone instead of alone and "am sorry but, none of anything that has happened is anything I can help. It is my family, it is ME that is DEALING with it. I f YOU are stressed how do you think I feel?" On a day to day basis, living alone with dyspraxia and hypermobility was very lonely, far from easy and I barely saw anyone- never finding the right support for employment.
I had broghut up renting somewhere just near, but she thought was a terrible idea, what was point in me moving down all my stuff, then later doing another move to to move in . why not just move in now? It meant I lost benefits and not yet had time to find a job, as she has also just been diagnosed with a stomach condition and waiting for treatment. So I have been there for her through all of that, trying to be strong as she has had to go on and off work, come home early..then finally be signed off. I have held back on making in roads so far to my life, because there has been SO MUCH going on whether arrnagements to meet family, talking to her about the illness, the kids, amongst other things and, let's face it...she helps me with all those practical things I have always struggled with, so they take less time are much easier BUT my head feels melted instead. And I feel awful in saying that!
Nobody has ever understood me or loved me like she does. And I am 34! I do not want to waste any more time. She is very passionate and I love that, very loving, very patient with me but she talks so much when she gets passionate, gets infuriated with things, talks to the cat every 5 minutes asking me to look at him, fuss him, reminding me if I love him or not he loves me and there is nothing I can do about it. It is sweet obviously but sometimes I wanna scream "HE IS A CAT! SHUT UP! This programme is only on for 30 minutes!" But that is NOT me. She talks through programmes I struggle to follow making judgments. going "Am right though aren't I?" **** sake. Then if I bring it up she seems hurt and says am sorry for being so passionate, but you knew it is how I am. It maybe better I just say nothing. It's ok to be sensitive, but you seem intimidated." I don't know whhether to argue back because I don't know if all this is normal for me to react to, if it is my dyspraxia or not. I don't want to seem like am using it, if really this is just me , has nothing to do with it or is actually a natural feeling I am having. I have finally found someone and now thinking oh my god, am I just not cut out to be with someone or is this natural as it has happened so fast, should I just take it all on the chin and grow up and push on as everyone has to? Or is it not just me that would be crumbling under pressure? Needless to say, awaiting new appilcation for another benefit I may or may not get, her take on if you do not get it, you don't your my partner and I do not see it as my money or your money we SHARE it. I don't care what you earn or don't because I love you and I think yes- but, I need to feel some pride. I just don't know anymore......then I seem so unappreciative of the most selfless, wonderful person one could find.
I had broghut up renting somewhere just near, but she thought was a terrible idea, what was point in me moving down all my stuff, then later doing another move to to move in . why not just move in now? It meant I lost benefits and not yet had time to find a job, as she has also just been diagnosed with a stomach condition and waiting for treatment. So I have been there for her through all of that, trying to be strong as she has had to go on and off work, come home early..then finally be signed off. I have held back on making in roads so far to my life, because there has been SO MUCH going on whether arrnagements to meet family, talking to her about the illness, the kids, amongst other things and, let's face it...she helps me with all those practical things I have always struggled with, so they take less time are much easier BUT my head feels melted instead. And I feel awful in saying that!
Nobody has ever understood me or loved me like she does. And I am 34! I do not want to waste any more time. She is very passionate and I love that, very loving, very patient with me but she talks so much when she gets passionate, gets infuriated with things, talks to the cat every 5 minutes asking me to look at him, fuss him, reminding me if I love him or not he loves me and there is nothing I can do about it. It is sweet obviously but sometimes I wanna scream "HE IS A CAT! SHUT UP! This programme is only on for 30 minutes!" But that is NOT me. She talks through programmes I struggle to follow making judgments. going "Am right though aren't I?" **** sake. Then if I bring it up she seems hurt and says am sorry for being so passionate, but you knew it is how I am. It maybe better I just say nothing. It's ok to be sensitive, but you seem intimidated." I don't know whhether to argue back because I don't know if all this is normal for me to react to, if it is my dyspraxia or not. I don't want to seem like am using it, if really this is just me , has nothing to do with it or is actually a natural feeling I am having. I have finally found someone and now thinking oh my god, am I just not cut out to be with someone or is this natural as it has happened so fast, should I just take it all on the chin and grow up and push on as everyone has to? Or is it not just me that would be crumbling under pressure? Needless to say, awaiting new appilcation for another benefit I may or may not get, her take on if you do not get it, you don't your my partner and I do not see it as my money or your money we SHARE it. I don't care what you earn or don't because I love you and I think yes- but, I need to feel some pride. I just don't know anymore......then I seem so unappreciative of the most selfless, wonderful person one could find.