How do I get my parents to trust me.

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Catskane85
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How do I get my parents to trust me.

Post by Catskane85 » Sun Jan 13, 2019 3:25 am

My name is Catrin and I'm 25 years old. I have had Dyspraxia my whole life and chonic pain for the last 7 years. I'm stuggling with depression because of bullying. I have no friends and my parents don't trust me especially my mum. I feel so trapped. I can only go to town without them constantly calling me. I have 1 brother and 1 sister. They are allowed to go to places on their own or with friends for a night or two without any problem but when I say I'm going somewhere for the day they say I can't go and they try to stop me and even when I go somewhere they always try to make me feel guilty for going. My sister is younger than me and she's going to Thailand in August. When she told my parents shes going they helped her woth paying for it and her passport ect but they won't wallow me go out of town without them calling me. When I just asked about me going to Java to do a wildlife course my mum just said theres no way I can go and she would't be happy with me going. How is that fair? I understand that they worry about me, anyone would be worried about their daughter but I feel like they are too much and too controlling over me. It makes them worse because I'm always on my own because I have no friends. I feel like a prisoner sometimes. If I want to go somewhere I get scared of telling them that I want to go out. They have even called the police on me last october, I only went for a walk to ccricieth which is only 9 miles away from my home on the coastal path and I had no signal on my phone when I got home around 6:30pm it was just starting to get dark and the first thing I saw when I came through the door is my mum screaming at me that she has called the police and that my dad is looking for me. I went from having a really good day walking and was really happy to feeling upset and guilt in a matter of seconds. I just feel so upset and trapped. I just wish they trusted me more. They won't even give me a chance to prove to them that I can look after myself. Can anyone please advice me about how I can make them trust me more?. I'm seeing a pschysiatrist on tuesday because of my depression and chronic pain and I'm thinking of telling him about it. I'm really scared about saying too much of how I feel because I keep a lot inside me. It gone to the point now where I have had suicidal thought and have tried to cut myself.

Tom fod
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Re: How do I get my parents to trust me.

Post by Tom fod » Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:19 am

Hi again Catrin

I can sort of see why the overprotectiveness is there (perhaps a reaction to your accodent with the horse and other situations where they have been worried about you?)

Your parents clearly have have unfounded concerns about your ability to look after yourself. Could you ask them to agree to a 'Please trust me I will call you if there is a problem, otherwise I will be back at x, but will let you know if that changes'r egime. After all you are 25.

Asserting yourself calmly when you feel put upon can be dfficult but getting into an argument with them can be v counterproductive. It's about proving to them you can make sensible decisions and find solutions while out alone or with friends.

Hope thalt helps you with ideas and strategies for how to proceed?

Please correct me If you feel I have made any wrong assumptions in my reading of your situation.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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