Been alone for quite long

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Xam
Getting settled in
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:15 pm

Been alone for quite long

Postby Xam » Thu May 10, 2018 9:24 pm

Hi. It's been almost 2 month since I did talked about myself, but considering my saying went unheard, I wasn't even sure if I could go on.
Well, I got 26 two weeks ago. Which basically means that I have been 6 years alone, if I consider the trash, unealthy and distant thing I had with a sick person whom didn't even love me a "relationship". If not, well... I have never been loved then. And that sucks.
I heard I was pretty cute, smart and stuff. Well I've always have a bit much of weight, but I don't think it is the only problem. Yes, I do believe that being a dyspraxic discordant to those sick and gross "seduction" games. Yes, I do believe that the social rules made by "abled" people have been established against us.

I really can't stand solitude anymore. Last year, when I was gonna be 25, there was one instance where I was in love with a weird person whom I ended running from, whatever. The important thing is that I was thinking that if nothing happened up til my bday and I'd get 5 years alone in a row, then nothing could happen. It might sound silly, but absolutely nothing proved me that I could be loved, while there are many examples of the opposite. And today then, it's not 5 but 6 years, so it is even worse.
I am lonely, sad, angry and scared. I feel cold. I don't know what to do. I can't go any further.

Ram
Power poster
Posts: 165
Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:30 am

Re: Been alone for quite long

Postby Ram » Sat May 12, 2018 11:28 am

Xam wrote:Hi. It's been almost 2 month since I did talked about myself, but considering my saying went unheard, I wasn't even sure if I could go on.
Well, I got 26 two weeks ago. Which basically means that I have been 6 years alone, if I consider the trash, unealthy and distant thing I had with a sick person whom didn't even love me a "relationship". If not, well... I have never been loved then. And that sucks.
I heard I was pretty cute, smart and stuff. Well I've always have a bit much of weight, but I don't think it is the only problem. Yes, I do believe that being a dyspraxic discordant to those sick and gross "seduction" games. Yes, I do believe that the social rules made by "abled" people have been established against us.

I really can't stand solitude anymore. Last year, when I was gonna be 25, there was one instance where I was in love with a weird person whom I ended running from, whatever. The important thing is that I was thinking that if nothing happened up til my bday and I'd get 5 years alone in a row, then nothing could happen. It might sound silly, but absolutely nothing proved me that I could be loved, while there are many examples of the opposite. And today then, it's not 5 but 6 years, so it is even worse.
I am lonely, sad, angry and scared. I feel cold. I don't know what to do. I can't go any further.


I am an old man (51) who actually feels rather cynical about romantic relationships. I think they are overrated by our societies. I wish that I had spent less time bothering about it when I was young.

One thing that took me years to learn was that it's far better to be single than in an unhappy relationship. The fact that the divorce rate is 50% is most western countries suggests that the number of unsatisfactory relationships is very high.

I am now following the ideas of the movent called MGTOW which is short for Men Going Their Own Way. I can personal message you some more stuff about MGTOW if it interests you.


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