Boredom and anger
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 2:20 am
Hello there.
So, like many among us, I lived my dyspraxic life without anybody to relate to. As I told in my Introduction, I have friends, I even had one or two very close friends, even one withom we considered as brothers (even though we never said it that way).
Well, it's been a while since life and many people around sickens me, but it has worsened since one year, and even more these last monthes. I don't have many outlets considering it's hard for me to focus on some stuff (reading, watching a movie alone) or to do some other stuff (drawing, while I'd like to express myself through it sometimes), and even things I normally like (i.e. music, some videogames, watching speedruns, sociology) just don't passionate me most of the time and feels so dull.
And what about other people ? Don't get me started. I've been extremely disappointed in many people whom I valued in many different cases. Some positive stuff here and there, but nothing that compares to the negative. Let's say that in one year, I either got in very bad blood with people I liked a lot, or had to walk away, for a total of five "break ups" with friends. And yes, I know that makes me look like I am responsible for it - I always am partly, but never in any cases was I really the one at fault.
And that is about people I liked or I felt I could relate with. Cuz you know, then comes the rest, and it ain't any better : able/neurotypics people tend to be greatly uninteresting and dull to me, or even worse : amoral and stupid. I'm not targeting specifically "people" who don't have time or means to be to my social standards (lower classes), but people whom are born from the same social level (if not above sometimes) and with straight better aptitudes (like for exemple, who don't need to do as much effort to read or think) than me. Yet very often, if not almost always, I simply can see how shallow they are.
Last but not least : next week it's the Valentine days of doomn with so many couples made of random and commutable people I despise, and I will be on my own as always. This lame day isn't only hard for us ofc, but think well about it : all these charades, these "seduction games" are a weapon pointed against the abnormal, like us.
tl;dr : I hate my situation, """normal people""" tends to be boring, stupid and unworthy, I don't know what to to do, screw this world, screw this life.
I have no idea why I wrote this. I hope for you you don't feel the same, but I hope for myself I am not alone to feel this way.
So, like many among us, I lived my dyspraxic life without anybody to relate to. As I told in my Introduction, I have friends, I even had one or two very close friends, even one withom we considered as brothers (even though we never said it that way).
Well, it's been a while since life and many people around sickens me, but it has worsened since one year, and even more these last monthes. I don't have many outlets considering it's hard for me to focus on some stuff (reading, watching a movie alone) or to do some other stuff (drawing, while I'd like to express myself through it sometimes), and even things I normally like (i.e. music, some videogames, watching speedruns, sociology) just don't passionate me most of the time and feels so dull.
And what about other people ? Don't get me started. I've been extremely disappointed in many people whom I valued in many different cases. Some positive stuff here and there, but nothing that compares to the negative. Let's say that in one year, I either got in very bad blood with people I liked a lot, or had to walk away, for a total of five "break ups" with friends. And yes, I know that makes me look like I am responsible for it - I always am partly, but never in any cases was I really the one at fault.
And that is about people I liked or I felt I could relate with. Cuz you know, then comes the rest, and it ain't any better : able/neurotypics people tend to be greatly uninteresting and dull to me, or even worse : amoral and stupid. I'm not targeting specifically "people" who don't have time or means to be to my social standards (lower classes), but people whom are born from the same social level (if not above sometimes) and with straight better aptitudes (like for exemple, who don't need to do as much effort to read or think) than me. Yet very often, if not almost always, I simply can see how shallow they are.
Last but not least : next week it's the Valentine days of doomn with so many couples made of random and commutable people I despise, and I will be on my own as always. This lame day isn't only hard for us ofc, but think well about it : all these charades, these "seduction games" are a weapon pointed against the abnormal, like us.
tl;dr : I hate my situation, """normal people""" tends to be boring, stupid and unworthy, I don't know what to to do, screw this world, screw this life.
I have no idea why I wrote this. I hope for you you don't feel the same, but I hope for myself I am not alone to feel this way.