Experiencing frustration

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Desert Rose
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Experiencing frustration

Postby Desert Rose » Thu Nov 16, 2017 3:18 pm

I sometimes feel like when I mention my learning disability as a reason for doing certain things that people think I'm either making it up or trying to use it as a trump card. This is causing me frustration because all I'm asking is that people understand that I'm much more susceptible to make mistakes than most people. I don't want sympathy, just understanding I'm not trying to make anyone's life difficult, has anyone else known this?

Tom fod
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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby Tom fod » Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:21 am

Alister

I would bet that many if not all of us have felt this way at some point. Do you find that it is often you who is your harshest critic?
Tom
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Desert Rose
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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby Desert Rose » Fri Nov 17, 2017 2:16 am

Tom fod wrote:Alister

I would bet that many if not all of us have felt this way at som point. Do you find that it is often you who is your harshest critic?


I wouldn't be surprised, I've been told I can be very hard on myself, it does seem to be in my nature.

I still feel it'd help if people were more understanding that It's not as if I'm not trying to do my best.

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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby Tom fod » Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:42 am

It can really be annoying when we are asked to do something and we put a lot of effort into doing it and the person who we helped out, can only find things to moan and complain about. My strategy has pretty much always been to ensure I clearly understand what the desired end result is and to seek clarification if there is any ambiguity in the instructions received. I find that I'm not very good with uncertainty and this has a really detrimental effect on my confidence and approach to a task and getting it right.The more unclear I am, the more I will worry and dither.

I think that we have to be a bit careful as sometimes people have little or no tolerance for excuses that can't really comprehend (well thank you Dyspraxia for being like that!) While Dyspraxia is not something we can help, I consider there to be a joint responsibility: we have to make sure we know what is required and how this can/should be achieved and that this information has been communicated clearly in order that we have understood it correctly. I think we're often a bit too afraid to seek clarification because we fear an impatient response from the person(s) who asked us, especially since it is in their (and our) interests that we get it right. Knowing how to ask the right questions about a task in the right way is part of the challenge!

It'll all a bit chicken and egg but if I can see the big picture I'm happy to dig down into the weeds At times I need to take a step back to ensure I'm still focused.on the task in hand and haven't gone off on a tangent. Sometimes the difficulty can be that I want to take a longer time to do stuff perfectly whereas the person who asked just wants a good result in a certain time.

Hope this makes some sort of sense?
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Desert Rose
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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby Desert Rose » Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:07 am

Tom fod wrote:It can really be annoying when we are asked to do something and we put a lot of effort into doing it and the person who we helped out, can only find things to moan and complain about. My strategy has pretty much always been to ensure I clearly understand what the desired end result is and to seek clarification if there is any ambiguity in the instructions received. I find that I'm not very good with uncertainty and this has a really detrimental effect on my confidence and approach to a task and getting it right.The more unclear I am, the more I will worry and dither.

I think that we have to be a bit careful as sometimes people have little or no tolerance for excuses that can't really comprehend (well thank you Dyspraxia for being like that!) While Dyspraxia is not something we can help, I consider there to be a joint responsibility: we have to make sure we know what is required and how this can/should be achieved and that this information has been communicated clearly in order that we have understood it correctly. I think we're often a bit too afraid to seek clarification because we fear an impatient response from the person(s) who asked us, especially since it is in their (and our) interests that we get it right. Knowing how to ask the right questions about a task in the right way is part of the challenge!

It'll all a bit chicken and egg but if I can see the big picture I'm happy to dig down into the weeds At times I need to take a step back to ensure I'm still focused.on the task in hand and haven't gone off on a tangent. Sometimes the difficulty can be that I want to take a longer time to do stuff perfectly whereas the person who asked just wants a good result in a certain time.

Hope this makes some sort of sense?


Yeah that definitely makes sense, I certainly find that having clearly described instructions and not having too many of them being given to me at once makes it easier for me to understand what I'm supposed to be doing. When instructions aren't entirely clear to me, I forget them or get distracted that I tend to refrain from asking for them again, for fear of pushing peoples patience. This happens very frequently and I become conscious about potentially annoying people. I suppose that's largely to do with my lack of confidence. Then I end up trying to figure it out myself and end up making mistakes. I think some people have noticed that I tend to attempt to perfect a result when that's not exactly as they want but rather a good result for the time frame as you say.

I've been quite fortunate in the sense that most people I've mentioned about my dyspraxia to have been pretty understanding and accommodating of my difficulties, such as being able to tolerate forgetting instructions more and giving me clearer more systematic instructions. I think I would benefit greatly from writing down what I'm supposed to do but I seldom remember to pick up a notepad or write them down and be able to read them etc.

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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby Tom fod » Sun Nov 19, 2017 6:27 am

I often reason that there's an even chance I won't be able to find the bloomin pad again if I do write it down!
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
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Desert Rose
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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby Desert Rose » Sun Nov 19, 2017 9:56 am

Tom fod wrote:I often reason that there's an even chance I won't be able to find the bloomin pad again if I do write it down!


Indeed! And when I find it again it's usually on the floor somewhere or scrunched up in my bag.

Once at work my phone fell out of my pocket and it was pointed out to me by someone that it had gone in the compost heap! Had I not been told it'd have certainly been composted!

otis_b_flywheel
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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby otis_b_flywheel » Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:20 pm

I sometimes feel like when I mention my learning disability as a reason for doing certain things that people think I'm either making it up or trying to use it as a trump card. This is causing me frustration because all I'm asking is that people understand that I'm much more susceptible to make mistakes than most people. I don't want sympathy, just understanding I'm not trying to make anyone's life difficult, has anyone else known this?


A perfect summary I think Desert Rose of the way many of us feel. The other major difficulty is that dyspraxia is so hard to explain to people, who are often not prepared to listen to an explanation and certainly not to do any research on the subject even if they know you quite well!

As far as losing a notepad is concerned, my dyspraxia assessor suggested that I put up a big whiteboard on my wall, and this has certainly helped. I have dry markers in four different colours which means that I can draw up lists with different themes / timescales. I also use good old-fashioned hand-written lists and an app on my phone called Clear List (there may well be better apps than this). I wish I could say that each form of list contains the same things, but they don't :-(

Regards
Tim

"I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome."

Desert Rose
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Re: Experiencing frustration

Postby Desert Rose » Sun Nov 19, 2017 8:01 pm

otis_b_flywheel wrote:
I sometimes feel like when I mention my learning disability as a reason for doing certain things that people think I'm either making it up or trying to use it as a trump card. This is causing me frustration because all I'm asking is that people understand that I'm much more susceptible to make mistakes than most people. I don't want sympathy, just understanding I'm not trying to make anyone's life difficult, has anyone else known this?


A perfect summary I think Desert Rose of the way many of us feel. The other major difficulty is that dyspraxia is so hard to explain to people, who are often not prepared to listen to an explanation and certainly not to do any research on the subject even if they know you quite well!

As far as losing a notepad is concerned, my dyspraxia assessor suggested that I put up a big whiteboard on my wall, and this has certainly helped. I have dry markers in four different colours which means that I can draw up lists with different themes / timescales. I also use good old-fashioned hand-written lists and an app on my phone called Clear List (there may well be better apps than this). I wish I could say that each form of list contains the same things, but they don't :-(

Regards


I suppose dyspraxia is something barely anyone knows about really, the people whom I've mentioned about it to never heard of it before they met me!

I think a combination of those things your assessor suggested could definitely help me, I just need a way of making the tasks I struggle with a more systematic process.


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