I don't get on with people my own age

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Desert Rose
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I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Desert Rose » Wed Nov 15, 2017 5:37 pm

This is something I've always known about, but I really don't seem to get on with people in my own age group, bar one person who I've known for 18 years, one of 3 of my close friends is 32 years old, that's 10 years older than me. In the past I've found people my own age to be very judgemental and that they don't want to include me, whenever I've attempted to interact with them I've never understood what to say and usually I just get blanked or stared at as if they are thinking "why the **** are you talking to us you weirdo?" or something like that. In my experience as well I have very different interests and I really have no interest in most of the things they want to talk about. I very very rarely connect with another person my age. I find older people to be more understanding generally. Does anyone else know of any experience like this?

Dan
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Dan » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:49 pm

I am exactly the same. One of my best mates is over 60, in fact. I have always felt myself more mature than my age group in some ways and less mature in others, exacerbating the problem.

Desert Rose
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Desert Rose » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:59 pm

Dan wrote:I am exactly the same. One of my best mates is over 60, in fact. I have always felt myself more mature than my age group in some ways and less mature in others, exacerbating the problem.
The thing you say about maturity certainly seems to be the case, it's bizzare, I seem to be very mature in some ways but not at all in others, sometimes I fluctuate. One person once told me I was psychologically ahead of my age group in terms of the way I think and understand things and to what depth. It's all truly bizzare.

Dan
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Dan » Sat Nov 25, 2017 12:06 am

Desert Rose wrote:
Dan wrote:I am exactly the same. One of my best mates is over 60, in fact. I have always felt myself more mature than my age group in some ways and less mature in others, exacerbating the problem.
The thing you say about maturity certainly seems to be the case, it's bizzare, I seem to be very mature in some ways but not at all in others, sometimes I fluctuate. One person once told me I was psychologically ahead of my age group in terms of the way I think and understand things and to what depth. It's all truly bizzare.
The way in which you're more mature, as you mention, is the same for me. My understanding of logical things such as science, history and other subjects is generally ahead of my peers, but I am extremely disorganised and my bad memory doesn't help things. :)

What you say about not being interested in a lot of the same things as others also applies to me. I find things like football "did you see that ludicrous display last night?" and frivolous stuff dull. I would much rather read about chemical iridescence, 3-MeO-PCP, the life of Chopin or torpor ( the equivalent to sleep in insects) than what my friends like. One of my conventional interests is playing piano and writing music, but most people couldn't care less. :p

Desert Rose
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Desert Rose » Sat Nov 25, 2017 12:26 am

Dan wrote:
Desert Rose wrote:
Dan wrote:I am exactly the same. One of my best mates is over 60, in fact. I have always felt myself more mature than my age group in some ways and less mature in others, exacerbating the problem.
The thing you say about maturity certainly seems to be the case, it's bizzare, I seem to be very mature in some ways but not at all in others, sometimes I fluctuate. One person once told me I was psychologically ahead of my age group in terms of the way I think and understand things and to what depth. It's all truly bizzare.
The way in which you're more mature, as you mention, is the same for me. My understanding of logical things such as science, history and other subjects is generally ahead of my peers, but I am extremely disorganised and my bad memory doesn't help things. :)

What you say about not being interested in a lot of the same things as others also applies to me. I find things like football "did you see that ludicrous display last night?" and frivolous stuff dull. I would much rather read about chemical iridescence, 3-MeO-PCP, the life of Chopin or torpor ( the equivalent to sleep in insects) than what my friends like. One of my conventional interests is playing piano and writing music, but most people couldn't care less. :p
Some of my latest conversations have been about Quantum physics, consciousness, Buddhism, Freuds theretical model/psychic structure of the ego and morality. I'd much rather spend time with someone on that wavelength who wants to talk about similar things in depth. I can't stand talking about TV, the news, celebrities etc, I just seem to zone out.

Dan
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Dan » Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:17 am

Desert Rose wrote:
Dan wrote:
Desert Rose wrote:
The thing you say about maturity certainly seems to be the case, it's bizzare, I seem to be very mature in some ways but not at all in others, sometimes I fluctuate. One person once told me I was psychologically ahead of my age group in terms of the way I think and understand things and to what depth. It's all truly bizzare.
The way in which you're more mature, as you mention, is the same for me. My understanding of logical things such as science, history and other subjects is generally ahead of my peers, but I am extremely disorganised and my bad memory doesn't help things. :)

What you say about not being interested in a lot of the same things as others also applies to me. I find things like football "did you see that ludicrous display last night?" and frivolous stuff dull. I would much rather read about chemical iridescence, 3-MeO-PCP, the life of Chopin or torpor ( the equivalent to sleep in insects) than what my friends like. One of my conventional interests is playing piano and writing music, but most people couldn't care less. :p
Some of my latest conversations have been about Quantum physics, consciousness, Buddhism, Freuds theretical model/psychic structure of the ego and morality. I'd much rather spend time with someone on that wavelength who wants to talk about similar things in depth. I can't stand talking about TV, the news, celebrities etc, I just seem to zone out.
Quantum mechanics is crazy. Electrons being able to pass through a material if it is thin enough is really odd to me.

If you ever fancy a chat on that wavelength, feel free to add your Skype or something to the thread I posted in Dyspraxic Chat.

I love watching religious debates with Hitchens and Dawkins on YouTube. I am not very well-versed in Buddhism though, I must say, although it is technically a non-theistic religion, so it works for me.

PS: Freud thought that cocaine was a good antidepressant, FYI. I once saw the Oedipus exhibit at the science museum and my friend and I giggled like little children even though I was 24 and she was 26, lol.

rmel82
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by rmel82 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 5:55 pm

I used to feel more comfortable around older people, however having mixed with people I realised it was because I have interests that people who were older than me had and that older people were more tolerant of my social quirks. While growing up I encountered people who didn't fit the conventional mode and made friends nearer my own age. You might find people who are more your type by going to meetups that cover your interests.

Desert Rose
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Desert Rose » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:05 pm

rmel82 wrote:I used to feel more comfortable around older people, however having mixed with people I realised it was because I have interests that people who were older than me had and that older people were more tolerant of my social quirks. While growing up I encountered people who didn't fit the conventional mode and made friends nearer my own age. You might find people who are more your type by going to meetups that cover your interests.
I would certainly agree that people older than me tend to have similar interests much more so than my own age, and generally seem to be more tolerant. However, asides from one of my closest friends who I've known for 18 years, I've never really found I've been able to connect with the vast majority of people in my age group, I've attempted to communicate with them but just seem to get stared of, I've never really sensed any kind of empathy, more avoidance. I don't want to generalise but I tend to find that people my age have a tendency to be quite hedonistic and satisfy desires for short term pleasure and alleviate boredom than put the time into investigating anything to a deeper level. I suppose the key thing though for me is the sense of empathy. I can definitely appreciate what you're saying though.

Dan
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Re: I don't get on with people my own age

Post by Dan » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:28 am

rmel82 wrote:I used to feel more comfortable around older people, however having mixed with people I realised it was because I have interests that people who were older than me had and that older people were more tolerant of my social quirks. While growing up I encountered people who didn't fit the conventional mode and made friends nearer my own age. You might find people who are more your type by going to meetups that cover your interests.
I think this is part of the reason it works out this way for me as well.

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