Often feel like I drive people away or I'm really annoying

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-will-
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Often feel like I drive people away or I'm really annoying

Postby -will- » Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:11 pm

Okay so all my live I feel like my personality can be grating and tends to wear people down. Not in a good way either you know? I work in a place where people come and go (often students) and I can't help but feel like that during there time I'm so in there face and on that I'm one reason that convinces them to move on. I don't want to feel narcissistic but it makes sense. Especially when after they've left and I try to reach out I get nothing back. This has happened a handful of times now.

Is it because Only some people get me and laugh, judge or even pity me behind my back? I mean these people have said keep in touch or whatever but clearly don't mean it. It's hard as I don't have a ton of close relationships. Like two, that's it.

Does anyone Else find it hard to build relationships outside of places where you have to interact with people, and often get nothing back or find it starts but the cycle repeats and I'm left wondering that it crumbled again because I perhaps drove them away. Btw this is my first post here, so hi everyone :D

Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: Often feel like I drive people away or I'm really annoying

Postby Tom fod » Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:51 pm

Hi and welcome

It's really not our place to judge and we've barely got to know you. It maybe that other people don't want to remain at where you work for many other reasons so be careful of thinking it's all you. I get on well with people from my office but we don't actually go out as a group or socialise together as much as some might expect. People have other responsibilities, family and friends, outside of work so in many cases working and relaxing together doesn't happen like on TV.

Can totally appreciate you feel lonely. We all do! Sometimes even in a room full of people!. Try to find people you have more in common with than just work and please don't take their lack of enthusiasm as a personal affront or damning indictment on your personality.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

-will-
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 10:51 pm

Re: Often feel like I drive people away or I'm really annoying

Postby -will- » Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:22 am

True true. Good points.
I've actually never gone out with my work colleagues in my entire three years of working there now you mention it. I guess I'm trying to say that don't feel like the problem only part of it, that's often the case of with my life.
Anyways thank you for the reply so quickly. I'll go and introduce my self I guess on that other page
:)

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1489
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Often feel like I drive people away or I'm really annoying

Postby Tom fod » Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:31 am

Will

You're welcome. Being dyspraxic seems to often come with low self esteem and I think many of us over analyse what we've said/done or are going to say/do, which makes interacting with others on different wavelengths tricky to say the least.

Wish I had all the answers or could at least put them into practice.for myself.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Desert Rose
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Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2017 1:10 pm

Re: Often feel like I drive people away or I'm really annoying

Postby Desert Rose » Wed Nov 15, 2017 6:31 pm

This is an experience I know all too well, and is something that has been on my mind alot lately. I feel like I'm being judged by people alot of the time, and this has caused me some anxiety. Whenever I attempt to interact with someone I'm not used to, I totally freak out and my heart starts racing as my mind starts rushing to find appropriate responses, then I spend alot of time analysing what I said and my body language. Whether it's paranoia or low self esteem a combination of the both, I get a strong sense that people are off put by my behaviour, and then avoid me or appear to just stare at me in judgement. Usually I get confused and don't understand what I've done wrong, I would definitely say some people are alienated by me, as I feel there's often no connection being made when I attempt to interact with some people or I just get what feels like quite a patronising or dismissive response. My response lately has just been to stop caring as I can't help but be myself, and I don't intend to cause myself anxiety in the attempt to "correct" myself in other peoples eyes. I'm happier being myself, and I'd rather spend time with the very few people who don't judge me than the rest who do. Thats my approach anyway.


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