upbringing to blame for way i am now?

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invisible2014
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upbringing to blame for way i am now?

Postby invisible2014 » Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:09 am

Ever since a young child I was mollycoddleed and over looked after.My parents would not let me out on my own untill I was 16 ,they would not let me go to another town on my own untill I was 17 like get on the train on my own.when everyone else was walking to school on there alone I was not allowed to and am wondering if tho is to blame for my low shy self esteem now?

Ram
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Re: upbringing to blame for way i am now?

Postby Ram » Wed Apr 26, 2017 6:54 pm

invisible2014 wrote:Ever since a young child I was mollycoddleed and over looked after.My parents would not let me out on my own untill I was 16 ,they would not let me go to another town on my own untill I was 17 like get on the train on my own.when everyone else was walking to school on there alone I was not allowed to and am wondering if tho is to blame for my low shy self esteem now?


It's difficult to know for sure, but I would say there is a high probability that it was a contributing factor. It's good that you're recognizing this problem. Once it has sunk in, there is the difficult next step for you to try to overcome some of these problems. This will be a slow process, so don't expect to build Rome in day. Also remember that evolution generally brings about more solid and genuine change than revolution.

Tom fod
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Re: upbringing to blame for way i am now?

Postby Tom fod » Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:54 pm

We can't help or change how we were brought up and not being in your parents shoes we can't see from their perspective why they made the choices they did. While you can argue this could be a contributing factor you can't hit rewind and change everything. Try to avoid comparing yourself with otthers and think about what you can do to improve your confidence towards achieving a greater level of indepenxnce.
Tom
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Dan
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Re: upbringing to blame for way i am now?

Postby Dan » Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:27 am

It is said 40% of who we are is caused by environmental factors, with another 40% for genetics and 20% for so-called random chance coin flip-esque decisions.

I was treated similarly as a kid and know it is part of the reason I am so unassertive and anxious, but I don't blame my Mum. I used to, but realised that was wrong and that she was only doing the best she could as a single parent.

YellowSunshine
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Re: upbringing to blame for way i am now?

Postby YellowSunshine » Tue Aug 22, 2017 4:08 pm

I definetly think the reason i am like i am is because mum and dad were so protective over me. I wasnt allowed to do certain things and my parents made sure i was safe at all times. I feel like they had a tight grip of me and still do even though im an adult living away from home. My dad put me in a bubble, wouldn't allow me to climb trees, cross the road, play far away from home.
I feel a fear of most things and im nervous and quiet and a social wreck and yes I blame mostly my dad.
My dad taught me to be overly cautious about everything
My parents are great loving parents and in some aspects they excelled. Like my mum helping me manage my dsypraxia.
My parents did what they thought was right and im not saying they were bad parents because they werent. They were over caring parents which isnt a bad thing but i feel it was pretty damaging.
We still have a great relationship.
As ive grown older they have relaxed a bit but i still think they worry about me.
They parented my older sister different and she is a social butterfly, excels in her job, has a good house and does pretty well for herself.


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