No compassion

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Robert Scotland
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No compassion

Postby Robert Scotland » Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:34 pm

This sounds bad but I do not have much compassion for other people that have some sort of mental or physical disability that was there own fault for example like them calming to have anxiety or other stuff when it's there fault for abusing drugs or people that have had car crashes when it was there fault for tdriving to fast . It annoys because I feel like I have had it hard for having dyspraxia and it wasn't my fault I was born like that does anyone else feel bitter in this way

welshwizard
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Re: No compassion

Postby welshwizard » Thu Mar 09, 2017 1:22 am

Robert Scotland wrote:This sounds bad but I do not have much compassion for other people that have some sort of mental or physical disability that was there own fault for example like them calming to have anxiety or other stuff when it's there fault for abusing drugs or people that have had car crashes when it was there fault for tdriving to fast . It annoys because I feel like I have had it hard for having dyspraxia and it wasn't my fault I was born like that does anyone else feel bitter in this way


While I respect your opinion, and your right to hold it, I completely and fundamentally disagree.

Firstly, I think the idea that any given disease process is completely someone's "own fault" is an oversimplification. A person's health is affected by a huge range of social, economic, environmental, and inherent biological factors, as well as individual choice. Furthermore, the choices an individual does make are themselves profoundly influenced by factors outside of their control. For example, a person is more likely to take up smoking if they live in an environment and culture which views smoking as acceptable, if their peer group or family smoke, and if they have an existing mental health problem. These factors become more common the further down the social/economic 'ladder' a person is, and where you are on this 'ladder' is largely down to accident of birth. Someone born in a deprived area to parents who smoke, is more likely to smoke, and so is more likely to suffer from the range of problems associated with smoking. There's an element of personal choice in this of course, but that's far from the whole picture.

This general principle holds true, and is reflected in the statistics, for most acquired diseases. The worse the situation you're born into/living in, the worse your health is likely to be. Genetics, access to quality education and healthcare, the physical environment, access to social/economic capital, life stressors, housing quality, culture, diet, community, all play a part. It's far, far easier to be healthy if you were born into a lucky situation.

Here's a graphic that summarises this idea:

Image

Secondly, I think that it's important to have empathy and compassion for people no matter what life choices they might have made. None of us are perfect, and we all make bad choices and mistakes. We all have ways that we try to cope with the stuff life throws at us, and some of these aren't healthy. Some of us exercise intensely, some of us smoke, some of us drink, some use drugs, some have a lot of sex, whatever. A lot of these things carry high risks, and a lot might seem from an outside perspective to be foolish choices, but humans are rational actors - whatever someone has done made sense to them at the time, even if it was just to numb the pain. I'm not saying that people should be free to do whatever they want - we live in a collective society, and for that society to function and for people to mutually enjoy freedom and rights, people need to be held accountable if they infringe on the freedom and rights of others. However, I would never seek to trivialise or ignore someone's illness based on their lifestyle or past choices.

A final note, on people with anxiety or other mental illnesses who use drugs - drug use is often an attempt at self-medication - often, the drug use starts after the illness, and as a result of it. When I think of some of the things people I've worked with in the mental health system have been through in their lives, if I was put through the same I can't honestly say whether I wouldn't try to numb myself from those memories any way that I could.

Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: No compassion

Postby Tom fod » Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:58 am

Thanks Welshwizard

Rob
I think we're all guilty at some time or another of forgetting to appreciate that other people may have a vastly different perspective and cause and effect may not always be simple to explain. I'm not one who accepts fools gladly and I guess I too forget that you often need to look at bit deeper than merely scratching the surface before deciding someone only has themselves to blame for what has befallen them.

The fact you start "this sounds bad . . " suggests you dp have some level of sensitivity to what others might think too.We all form opinions influenced by a variety of factors and maybe we do sometimes forget there's an alternate perspective we might have conveniently chosen to overlook.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Robert Scotland
Getting settled in
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Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2015 3:20 pm

Re: No compassion

Postby Robert Scotland » Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:52 am

Just sometimes find it hard to understand other feelings and it's like no one cares about our condition

Tom fod
Administrator
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Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: No compassion

Postby Tom fod » Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:04 pm

We do understand that as we've all felt misunderstood and/or been/felt treated less favourably because of our difference. People make some stupid assumptions of people with visible disabilities too, It's intensely &%$&ing annoying but we have to try to maintain our patience and be civil/professional or somehow charm them into taking the time to try to understand that we sometimes need to approach do things differently but we want to and are just as capable of making a worthwhile contribution if they'd take the time to listen to us.
Last edited by Tom fod on Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Ram
Power poster
Posts: 130
Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:30 am

Re: No compassion

Postby Ram » Mon Mar 27, 2017 7:46 pm

This is a great topic. There are some very different views that have been posted, but I strangely find myself in agreement with all these opposing views. Perhaps that's a sign that it's a deep and complex subject. :)


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