Idolization?

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

Moderator: Moderator Team

poodlelover81
Getting settled in
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2016 9:36 pm

Idolization?

Postby poodlelover81 » Sun Nov 06, 2016 8:05 pm

Growing up, I admired my friends & other girls almost to the point of idolization. I felt awkward that I would spill or bump into something, and I have my share of the social difficulties that accompany dyspraxia. I would start to mimic them more and more to magnify the strengths they had- -for example, their habits, their graces at speaking, until everyone started to notice. It's only now at 24 that I'm comfortable dressing the way I want to & listening to the music I want to, talking the way I do . I still feel a lot of guilt about this because I know it pushes people away, and I've been told that it hurts their sense of self-esteem. I also feel guilty because I know it was immature. I feel so guilty & am having trouble moving on! Is anyone else like this?

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1556
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Idolization?

Postby Tom fod » Sun Nov 06, 2016 10:50 pm

poodlelover81 wrote:Growing up, I admired my friends & other girls almost to the point of idolization. I felt awkward that I would spill or bump into something, and I have my share of the social difficulties that accompany dyspraxia. I would start to mimic them more and more to magnify the strengths they had- -for example, their habits, their graces at speaking, until everyone started to notice.

It's only now at 24 that I'm comfortable dressing the way I want to & listening to the music I want to, talking the way I do . I still feel a lot of guilt about this because I know it pushes people away, and I've been told that it hurts their sense of self-esteem. I also feel guilty because I know it was immature. I feel so guilty & am having trouble moving on! Is anyone else like this?


A lot of people (and let's not limit to just those of us who are dyspraxic) struggle to feel accepted and will try to emulate others in this way. I can understand some might have found this a trifle annoying, though in some small way it could be seen as flattering. I can also sort of see that your mimicry might have been misunderstood as mockery, (though, it was never meant that way). Whilst you might have some cause for regret, you do seem to have learned that you don't have to copy others to be accepted, which is great.

Finding and accepting ourselves is often difficult and comparing ourselves with others is never objective. Lets not forget that others may not see themselves as that great either. I don't feel you should need to blame yourself for how you used to be and in many ways it feels like you're struggling with your own sense of self-worth and feel haunted by your past social mistakes?

Please don't be afraid to be kinder to yourself and forgive yourself past errors of judgement.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)


Return to “Relationships”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests