I'm not flirting, I'm just bubbly

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I'm not flirting, I'm just bubbly

Post by MissCaswell » Tue Jun 21, 2016 4:29 pm

Hi everyone,

I'm wondering if anyone else has the same pain in the arse dyspraxia personality I do and if so how do you tone it down?

So I'm a very bubbly person which is great for my work in hospitality but not so good in relationships. I'm told I flirt a lot, all the time in fact, but I don't see it. I talk and treat everyone one the same way from the guy across the road to the old lady down the street. When I interact with someone I smile a lot, I run my hands through my hair, I laugh I'm very exagerated when I speak, my tone goes up and down and I get very excitable. I'm often called a flirt and worse!! I'm sick of explaining to people I'm not 'flirting' it's just me personality. Well I'm in a new relationship with this guy I've been friends with for a while now, I initially said I didn't want a relationship, I know it's hard for guys to be with me because of my personality but he said this is one of the things he loves most about me. So over the weekend we had a massive fall out where he said he doesn't like the way I am and asked me to 'change' I obviously lost my temper and stormed off which didn't help the situation because then I was accused of over reacting. I'm getting mixed advise from our mutual friends, some saying he knew who I was before we were together and he is out of order, other friends say they see why he wouldn't like it and maybe I should try to change. I'm 26, I've always been very aware of myself and get the same social anxieties other dyspraxics live with. I've been bullied, I've been in social situation that I have though have gone well just to be told later that I did such &such or said this or that, my brain to mouth filter is very dodgey. I got my diagnosis 2 years ago. I've also been diagnosed with PTSD as a child after a difficult childhood. It took me a really long time to except myself and I suppose I feel I'm taking steps back.
Sorry for the big rant, is anyone else like me?

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Re: I'm not flirting, I'm just bubbly

Post by Jim » Tue Jun 21, 2016 10:18 pm

So he told you that he loved your personality and the next thing you know is that he's asking you to change it?

This guy is bad news.
Jim is back ... Jim is J i m and J i m is Jim.

Confused? I'd be.

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Re: I'm not flirting, I'm just bubbly

Post by Tom fod » Tue Jun 21, 2016 11:49 pm

MissCaswell wrote: . . I know it's hard for guys to be with me because of my personality
Hi and welcome,

Please consider this a safe place to have a rant. You are who you are and you sound like a thoroughly warm and friendly person. So not everyone is able to handle that, they could at least try to be a little more sensitive to your feelings and more accepting that you are who you are and they might not exactly like it if you told them they had to change. There's a fine line between constructive criticism and nit picking and the line isn't necessarily fixed.

Maybe your ex somehow felt increasingly jealous/insecure. He knew what you were like so yould could it is equally a reflection on himself that he couldn't handle that.

There's a quote which I believe is attributed to Marilyn Monroe. Loosely it is,
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

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Re: I'm not flirting, I'm just bubbly

Post by Saint » Fri Nov 11, 2016 12:00 pm

I once went on a couple of blind date things to do with some thing on my old mobile service provider, but neither went very well. #-o

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Re: I'm not flirting, I'm just bubbly

Post by allesandro » Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:35 pm

You don't see it because you don't intend the conversation in a sexually charged manner. Many people are only exuberant when they are flirting so they project that you are behaving as they do when they are attracted to someone.

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