Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

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Teejaye98
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Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Teejaye98 » Sat May 21, 2016 2:01 pm

I've gone through my whole life (almost 18 years), not knowing I have dyspraxia. This has caused anxiety and depression- although, a lot of other things have caused it as well. In a way though, I think I have had to learn how to do things my own way so for the most part it's harder for people to notice there is something different. I mostly struggle with emotional issues, directions, patterns, etc. :( I just recently got dumped and it's the worst pain I've ever felt. On top of finding out I have dyspraxia, I think it will be even harder to find a fulfilling relationship with a man who will want to deal with all that comes with me being dyspraxic. I thought I had found someone supportive because I know that having to help me find my way around places and do other simple things (I have taught myself how to do zips and buttons for the most part, as well as tie shoes, etc- I have had to learn no matter how frustrating it is, I am proud of myself but scared).

Since this breakup, I have been accepted to university - however I have had no help with any of my schooling and the doctors estimate it will be two years before I get "diagnosed" fully and they give me the proper paperwork. This is all so confusing and shameful, I know it shouldn't be but it is. I'm afraid I'll never find a fulfilling relationship because I am dyspraxic and nobody will understand and want to love me.

I have great friends, but I feel like my dream of one day having kids and being happily married is going up in dust as we speak. :'(

HELP. Give me some hope. Any success stories?

eYh
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby eYh » Sat May 21, 2016 5:09 pm

Check out my post Marriage and Employment. If you already do well enough in school without help to get into University then I certainly wouldn't stress about going.

Everyone is dumped sometimes, dyspraxic or not. It may feel like the worst pain ever, and that is the hardest part of all. Each ended relationship brings you closer to the one you are meant to be in. Unfortunately the process is excruciatingly painful, but the experience you gain helps you become the perfect lover for someone else in future.

Y

Tom fod
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Tom fod » Sat May 21, 2016 10:16 pm

Teejaye98 wrote:I've gone through my whole life (almost 18 years), not knowing I have dyspraxia. This has caused anxiety and depression- although, a lot of other things have caused it as well. In a way though, I think I have had to learn how to do things my own way so for the most part it's harder for people to notice there is something different. I mostly struggle with emotional issues, directions, patterns, etc. :( I just recently got dumped and it's the worst pain I've ever felt. On top of finding out I have dyspraxia, I think it will be even harder to find a fulfilling relationship with a man who will want to deal with all that comes with me being dyspraxic. I thought I had found someone supportive because I know that having to help me find my way around places and do other simple things (I have taught myself how to do zips and buttons for the most part, as well as tie shoes, etc- I have had to learn no matter how frustrating it is, I am proud of myself but scared).

Since this breakup, I have been accepted to university - however I have had no help with any of my schooling and the doctors estimate it will be two years before I get "diagnosed" fully and they give me the proper paperwork. This is all so confusing and shameful, I know it shouldn't be but it is. I'm afraid I'll never find a fulfilling relationship because I am dyspraxic and nobody will understand and want to love me.

I have great friends, but I feel like my dream of one day having kids and being happily married is going up in dust as we speak. :'(

HELP. Give me some hope. Any success stories?


Hi TeeJaye98


Welcome to our little corner of the web and sorry to hear things are really meh at the moment.

Since your dyspraxia has not previously been noted suggests you were coping pretty well but current stresses have caused it to announce itself more strongly. There's no reason that you will be condemned to a life of being single (like poor me posting.php?mode=quote&f=10&p=29467#) although I appreciate and understand your fears and guess you are quite likely blaming yourself/dyspraxia for your being dumped. So your ex has decided you're no longer the girl for him, maybe it's just as much as much down to the fact his judgement is not that great and/or his reasons for dumping you are somewhat selfish but that he cannot admit to these? Either way you can do better than him!

It's certainly true that some of us do struggle with relationships but it's certainly not a difficulty that is exclusive to dyspraxics, it's a human problem. You might 'have the label' but don't feel you have to be defined by other peoples' idea of what it means or even be obliged to disclose it to everyone.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Teejaye98
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Teejaye98 » Sun May 22, 2016 12:49 am

Thanks all.

However my biggest issue is the fear that I will not find a new relationship due to my dyspraxia. I understand everyone has issues with relationships - I am willing to work in my relationships because I feel I have a lot of love to give.

I just am looking for success stories where someone with dyspraxia was able to go through heartbreak and meet someone new that was supportive of them.

Thanks!

eYh
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby eYh » Sun May 22, 2016 1:47 am

My husband was able to do just that.

Yvonne

Tom fod
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Tom fod » Sun May 22, 2016 9:39 pm

Teejaye98 wrote:Thanks all.

However my biggest issue is the fear that I will not find a new relationship due to my dyspraxia. I understand everyone has issues with relationships - I am willing to work in my relationships because I feel I have a lot of love to give.

I just am looking for success stories where someone with dyspraxia was able to go through heartbreak and meet someone new that was supportive of them.

Thanks!


Can completely understand why you feel as you do so deliberately didn't trot out phrases such as someone for everyone and plenty of time. It's great you're prepared to work at any relationship but make sure you find a guy who's equally disposed to working hard at being the best partner they can be to you too.

There are success stories though I do feel a lot of us make most use of the forum during the tougher times and consequently once we're feeling better and find a partner we might have less need to visit. Also whilst we might all be dyspraxic we're all unique individuals.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

eYh
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby eYh » Tue May 24, 2016 3:18 am

You know, when my marriage ended (first one) I had the same fear for a couple of years after. I don't know if it's the comfort of the routine, but you start off feeling like no one will ever accept/care/love/understand you the way your ex did. Mine was a piece of crap, too, so I think it's a universal thing. But after a few more years to get to know myself and what I wanted better, my success story is this.

We met online in 2012, met in real time in 2012, have been together ever since, and married almost a year now.

If I hadn't been dumped, I never would have met the person that I really should have been with in the first place.

Yvonne

Primoris
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Primoris » Sat May 28, 2016 5:46 pm

I wasn't diagnosed until I started my Masters in Law, Uni was pretty stressful but alot of staff are usually willing to help you out.

It also helps to become friends with people who are pretty good academically, as they can often support you I had a few study groups that helped me get through my undergrad.

Congrats on getting into Uni anyway, which one are you off to and what are you going to be studying?

You'll definitely find someone at University, it's tough but you'll eventually find someone you click with!

Teejaye98
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Teejaye98 » Tue May 31, 2016 3:39 pm

Update: He has a new girlfriend after two months, guess I should have seen it coming as he was always a serial dater. But I trusted him to be single for a while this time around. He told me he wouldn't jump into a new relationship as I meant too much to him to do that to me. But he did just that. Sigh. ](*,)

I can't seem to get over him even after this. Heartbreak is the worst pain.

Teejaye98
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Teejaye98 » Tue May 31, 2016 3:40 pm

Primoris wrote:I wasn't diagnosed until I started my Masters in Law, Uni was pretty stressful but alot of staff are usually willing to help you out.

It also helps to become friends with people who are pretty good academically, as they can often support you I had a few study groups that helped me get through my undergrad.

Congrats on getting into Uni anyway, which one are you off to and what are you going to be studying?

You'll definitely find someone at University, it's tough but you'll eventually find someone you click with!


Also - I'm studying Child and Youth Studies in Ontario, Canada. Thanks for the congratulations.

eYh
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby eYh » Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:20 pm

We are in Alberta Canada. I know from my husbands move it is a lot to take in. If you want to know how anything works, feel free to PM me anytime. What I don't know I can ask my Ontario relatives.

One thing I know for sure is how friendly everyone who comes to Canada finds it here. If you can get through to September there's a whole new world waiting for you. You may feel you've outgrown him after your next adventure. There are thousands you can meet in University who will be glad to be your friend.

Yvonne

Teejaye98
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Teejaye98 » Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:24 pm

Yvonne,
Don't worry, I am from Canada and living in Ontario for the past 6 years. Haha- I have dyspraxia with no paperwork to get me into a disability residence, and no license or car --- of course I am living at home with my parents!

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ichiban-no-hime
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby ichiban-no-hime » Tue Jun 14, 2016 8:43 am

I feel like I'm a little late replying but...
I was in the same position as you last summer- I broke up with a guy I had been mad about for years, and I went into a slump for months on end and I was convinced I wouldn't find anyone else.
It takes a while to recover, it took me about six months, but you get over it sooner or later- I've even met someone new now who's going to the same uni as me in September!

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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Jellydude » Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:10 am

Teejaye98 wrote:
Since this breakup, I have been accepted to university - however I have had no help with any of my schooling and the doctors estimate it will be two years before I get "diagnosed" fully and they give me the proper paperwork. This is all so confusing and shameful, I know it shouldn't be but it is. I'm afraid I'll never find a fulfilling relationship because I am dyspraxic and nobody will understand and want to love me.



Hi, I'm new to the forum and wasn't sure what to write but, I saw your post and felt some kinship in regards to your worries so, I wanted to explain a few things from my perspective of having gone through a similar situation as a guy.

Im 21 and am graduating from university in July, I started uni having had access arrangements that had expired at the start of my course. As a result I did not get the support I needed in my exams for my first year. However, when I got round to have an onsite assessment, I was statemented within the day and my arrangements were organised for the following exam period (I did it too late for my first year deadline). If doctors are saying 2 years, they are exaggerating at least a bit, the first day you have at uni go onto student support and arrange a meeting to be assessed for dyspraxia, it's not big deal, it's really helpful and will answer questions.

I have been with my Fiancée for three and a bit years, having got engaged recently. I used to (and still do sometimes) feel that I was unloveable or unattractive physically & personally because I'd only been in one real relationship which was ended by the person saying they slowly stopped liking me after a period of 6+ months (that messed with my mind quite a lot as I didn't feel I got a concrete reason that I could gain any insight from). However, I didn't have the knowledge about my dyspraxia to blame it on that if it makes sense but, if I had known about the personality part of dyspraxia then I definitely would have, which would've been damaging.

So I can understand the way you feel.

However, your diagnosis (right word?) does not change who you are, it does not make you any less in any sense of the word, you are you and you will find someone, I can promise you that. The world is so connected now, it's so much more likely that you will find someone to love than its ever been, you having dyspraxia is not going to discount you from love, it's not going to come into someone's mind when they're thinking about dating you.

I'd also say that if someone can't deal with supporting your specific needs in a romantic relationship, then that's a result of them not being good enough/suited to you, not a problem with you. That works a general aspect of relationships anyway, anyone not willing or able to support you doesn't deserve you (though it does work both ways).

If you fancy it, or if the forum allows it, you can send me a pm about life a uni as a dyspraxic, I know that I would've liked to have someone to talk who had been through what I was going through (or possibly might go through).

If not, it's cool, doors always open.

Saintest
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Re: Just got dumped by first love and found out I have dyspraxia. Will I ever find love again?

Postby Saintest » Tue Jun 21, 2016 9:05 am

You need to hold on, you`ll meet someone better then him necessarily
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