Messy house

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Teamee
Getting settled in
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:46 pm

Messy house

Postby Teamee » Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:32 am

Hi, I live with my other half and our kids.
I'm extremely messy and have very short term memory so my messiness causes me a lot of stress as i am always losing things.
My other half is also messy but he isn't dyspraxic and does remember where he puts stuff, even if it's in the wrong place.
I try really hard to be tidy but I have post natal depression and work long hours so some of the tidying I can't do. And my other half won't tidy.
He says that i'm being hypocritical because I am untidy too. He says that a bit of mess is ok. But me and my daughter *need* it to be tidy(ish) to function and we both get really stressed if it's not (she also quite probably has high functioning ASD as well as dyspraxia)
We have just had a big argument about it and he got really funny saying how the car is a mess and that's my fault (I have a 2 hour commute to work so I use it more)
I would be really interested to know if anyone else is in a or has been in a similar situation and what you did/would do. I actually feel like I'm going mad, I am so upset.
Thanks

Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 1489
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Messy house

Postby Tom fod » Tue Apr 26, 2016 10:02 pm

Hi and welcome

This sort of thing seems to be difficult for many of and the demands of work and family can mean keeping a handle on it all can feel like a lost battle. Similarly when you're feeling tired exasperated and you ask your half for some help he may wrongly interpret that as you nagging.

Being dyspraxic means we have to work harder to make sense of things and we mich more prone to sensory overload which makes it hard to switch off and relax/destress.

I don't know your other half but I guess you need to find a way to appeal for more help with stuff around the house but ask in a way that does not put him on the defensive.

I hope this is in some way helpful
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

OneClumsyDragon
Getting settled in
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:36 pm

Re: Messy house

Postby OneClumsyDragon » Sat May 21, 2016 9:37 am

I can't keep one bookshelf tidy, nevermind cleaning a whole house!
All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.


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