Struggle to maintain eye contact

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manlytom1995
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Struggle to maintain eye contact

Postby manlytom1995 » Wed Feb 03, 2016 6:06 pm

Hi I sometimes struggle to maintain eye contact with people this can be work colleagues, when I try to socialise with new people and especially when I try to talk to women in bars and clubs. Has anyone got any advice thanks.

Tom fod
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Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Postby Tom fod » Sat Feb 06, 2016 8:32 am

Hi Tom and welcome

This was something I struggled with (and to an extent still do). I think it's a confidence thing, at least it was in my case. The only advice I can suggest is to force yourself to do it until it becomes habit. Remember it's not a staring contest though.

Has anyone else found this an issue?
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Mr_Tom_one
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Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Postby Mr_Tom_one » Fri May 06, 2016 3:18 pm

I do! I thought I might have Aspergers Sydrome as I found this kind of interaction so difficult. I asked to be assessed for dyspraxia and possible Aspergers and they did the Aspergers test, which came out negative, but said they don't do dyspraxia testing in my area ](*,)

It's so hard to judge. I think I just force myself too. I just hold it for as long as feels comfortable and then a bit longer. Must be some advice online about this somewhere I'd have thought.

Tom fod
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Location: SW UK

Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Postby Tom fod » Fri May 06, 2016 5:52 pm

Worth googling 'maintaining eye contact 'as there are cheats/stragegies like looking at the persons nose that give illusion of eye contact.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

pendragon
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Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Postby pendragon » Fri May 05, 2017 11:29 pm

I've always found maintaining eye contact deeply uncomfortable. It makes me feel so exposed - I don't like people knowing what I'm thinking, and it actually physically hurts. But since it strikes other people as rude or dismissive, I've had to teach myself to overcome these feelings. Good thing my other half is a natural extrovert and actor!

john21wall
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Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Postby john21wall » Thu May 11, 2017 11:07 am

My problem is that I am unable to directly look into people’s eyes when I am trying to converse with them. Embarrassingly, I find my eyes tend to indirectly look at people’s sexual parts, for example, breasts, thighs, penis and so on. This condition occurs with whoever I am having a conversation with, i.e., men, women, young, old, work colleagues friends and relatives. I have no real control over this and I have suffered from this condition for the past 8-9 years. It has generally got worse over time. I am 41 and in a stable and happy marriage and I do not believe that I have a sexual problem. I have, however, suffered from anxiety/stress/worry since I was about 28 or so. I am gradually bringing my anxiety under control but I would very much like to treat this problem as it would help treat my anxiety and enable me to socialize with people without fear. I would like to know what the problem is and how it can be treated. Thank you.

Tom fod
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Posts: 1489
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 10:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Postby Tom fod » Fri May 12, 2017 11:02 pm

Sorry I think this is outside what we can advise on. I can only suggest you speak to your GP and/or a Counsellor or Therapist about it.

To what degree are you 'indirectly' looking at breasts/groin area? Has it got you into trouble?

You could try googling 'maintaining eye contact 'as perhaps there are cheats/strategies like looking at a persons nose or forehead that may at least the give illusion of eye contact.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)


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