Struggle to maintain eye contact

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

Moderator: Moderator Team

Post Reply
manlytom1995
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 9:27 pm

Struggle to maintain eye contact

Post by manlytom1995 »

Hi I sometimes struggle to maintain eye contact with people this can be work colleagues, when I try to socialise with new people and especially when I try to talk to women in bars and clubs. Has anyone got any advice thanks.
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2936
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Post by Tom fod »

Hi Tom and welcome

This was something I struggled with (and to an extent still do). I think it's a confidence thing, at least it was in my case. The only advice I can suggest is to force yourself to do it until it becomes habit. Remember it's not a staring contest though.

Has anyone else found this an issue?
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Mr_Tom_one
Getting settled in
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 11:02 pm

Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Post by Mr_Tom_one »

I do! I thought I might have Aspergers Sydrome as I found this kind of interaction so difficult. I asked to be assessed for dyspraxia and possible Aspergers and they did the Aspergers test, which came out negative, but said they don't do dyspraxia testing in my area ](*,)

It's so hard to judge. I think I just force myself too. I just hold it for as long as feels comfortable and then a bit longer. Must be some advice online about this somewhere I'd have thought.
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2936
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Post by Tom fod »

Worth googling 'maintaining eye contact 'as there are cheats/stragegies like looking at the persons nose that give illusion of eye contact.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
pendragon
Getting settled in
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:19 pm

Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Post by pendragon »

I've always found maintaining eye contact deeply uncomfortable. It makes me feel so exposed - I don't like people knowing what I'm thinking, and it actually physically hurts. But since it strikes other people as rude or dismissive, I've had to teach myself to overcome these feelings. Good thing my other half is a natural extrovert and actor!
Tom fod
Administrator
Posts: 2936
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 9:05 pm
Location: SW UK

Re: Struggle to maintain eye contact

Post by Tom fod »

Sorry I think this is outside what we can advise on. I can only suggest you speak to your GP and/or a Counsellor or Therapist about it.

To what degree are you 'indirectly' looking at breasts/groin area? Has it got you into trouble?

You could try googling 'maintaining eye contact 'as perhaps there are cheats/strategies like looking at a persons nose or forehead that may at least the give illusion of eye contact.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Post Reply