Romantic relationships

[sarahlouise22]

I just dont know how to be when it comes to guys.....im afraid of ruining it before it begins... because of how i know i can be...then if i do get into a relationship... its the worry of ruining it then and pushing him away..... im just very insecure and always compare myself to other girls....Just would be nice to find someone who will accept me faults and all =)

[hummingbirdheartbeat]

hiya!:-)
hmmmm relationships...
mine seem to last a total of 8 weeks and then either i or them cannot cope
i seem to be made to feel to be quite difficult but on the other hand none of them (or those few i have told) understand dyspraxia
do u feel like that?
because its not a disease or something its hard to understand...
i understand my thoughts completely...its just getting them out of my head thats difficult

[luzalu]

I'm terrible when it comes to relationships! I've had far too many to count! I had one that lasted just over a year and another just over 6 months but other than that all of them have been under 3 weeks!! I'd love one and miss the company when i'm not in one, although i do often feel trapped quite quickly and leg it out there. Guys don't seem to get my little quirks that are down to my dyspraxia and try to change me and stop me from acting in certain ways (i'm sure most of them are only with me for the size of my chest anyway!). But things like when i space out or have a hyper moment they try to stop it.When i am in relationships though i freak out when it comes to talking about feelings, with one ex i tried to tell him i loved him for the first time (even though now i'm older and wise i know it wasn't love) and i almost broke up with him instead of saying because i got so freaked out. As soon as the subject of feelings come up, thats it i stick my running shoes on and head for the hills. It would be really nice to just meet a guy who i could relax and be myself with who would get frustrated with me when i forget words when i'm talking, get angry when i drop things or trip over and be patient when i go off in a trance, one of my 'i've had the most amazing idea and i must do it right now (even if its 2am) moods' or need calming down when something small has gone wrong and i've gone in a tizz about it (like packing for a night away - can turn into mass murder once i've got a panic on that i'll forget something!). But i'm still young, theres still time for me yet and hopefully one day i will find omeone who can cope with my funny little ways and if that only even lasts for a short time it would be nice to have been with someone who understands and accepts me.

[DeeCar]

This seems like a big problem amongst people with dyspraxia but it is something I haven't really seen being dealt with in any meaningful capacity.

Maybe someone should write a guide, dating tips for people with dyspraxia.

So many similar stories here. Myself, I feel I've learned how to overcome certain aspects of life affected by my dyspraxia. For example, if I know I have to give a presentation, I use practice and repetition in order to nail it. Public speaking would usually be a nightmare for someone with dyspraxia but the method of practicing a speech or presentation until it is practically burned into your memory can give you a lot of confidence in what you're talking about.

For Uni I'm required to do a creative journal but I've decided that instead of handing in a book filled with badly scribbled, near unintelligible notes, that I'll do it all on a blog. Much easier to organize and make presentable.

There are other examples, but no matter what aspects I feel I can improve, dating is not something I can seem to crack. I'm 26, nearly 27, my last girlfriend was over 5 years ago. And it isn't through lack of trying.

I feel like I approach women too logically instead of appealing to them emotionally, I try too hard, I'm too blunt and direct. But I'm only blunt and direct because like many here I just cannot read the emotions of the opposite sex well at all. Someone previously described exactly how I feel - I just cannot figure out at times if a woman is indifferent or interested. It just kinda seems like something so basic that a person really ought to be able to read from another person. I cannot flirt, I cannot be subtle, I cannot play the game of pretending to be disinterested or other things that actually do seem to work for men.

I can 'fake' confidence. I used to be horribly shy. I remember at 15 or 16 I was so shy I could barely talk to girls in order to enquire about the most basic things. Now, I've tried so hard, so many times, that I do feel I have the confidence to talk to many women, but I do not have a clue how to keep them interested. I know that women like to be challenged, and with this in mind I've had good "openers" with women. On St. Patrick's Day, I was in a club, and anytime I saw a pretty girl wearing green I'd basically accuse them of not being Irish. It leads to amusing conversations, but I just don't know where to go with it. I must have hit on, like, 8 girls that night. More women than I usually hit on, but it really makes no difference to the level of success. I inevitably go the blunt direction of asking if she lives in the area, if she'd like to see me again, and they just don't seem interested at this point. It's very frustrating. I know that clubs are probably terrible places to try to pick women up but I can't help myself, really. The sight of beautiful women makes me feel like I have to try. If you don't at least try then you'll never get anywhere.

I remember hitting on a girl in a library not too long ago and that didn't go much better. I told her I thought she was pretty, I asked what she studies, things like that, then I gave her my contact details. Never heard from her.

I rarely ask girls for their number because I heard from one woman that she actually thinks it is creepy when men try to get her number. I'm not too sure why this is creepy, but then (no offense) there are many things in regards to how women act and react to being hit on that I don't understand. I keep viewing dating as a logical puzzle to be solved, but it isn't logical at all.

It's frustrating. I kind of get to a point where I feel I've tried everything. I feel lonely at times, and this can get to me. I feel like, there are women who I've met or known who would probably really enjoy dating me, I have a lot to offer, but because I'm not challenging, witty, or flirty enough in the initial and vital first impression, she's not interested.

[madyotto]

hi
Im matt i am 23 and was diagnosed with dyspraxia when i was very young though not exactly sure when

i am quite amazed how similar your story's are

i have had so many problems with relationships just out of curiosity

what is the most common or problem related to our dyspraxia have we heard as a reason for the ending of a relationship

so far i have heard :

off a few of my ex's i have heard they couldn't deal with it as i ended up more of a friend than a partner

i struggle knowing this

and i have been told that its too hard for them to handle as i would never argue with any of my partners (as i have a big thing about avoiding any kind of confrontation)

i have also been told that i am selfish as i get too close to other women (not so true but because of the dyspraxia i click with women being able to read them like a book)giving this impression)

i have also been told that they cant carry on as i have been too cuddly and possessive.

and then add that i have been to distant and withdrawn coupled with my seasonal temper so to speak (its like every 3 months or so i will snap at every one)


i feel that i need to have a partner and would go as far as saying that i cant function without one properly

i have spoken of sleep patterns with many other dyspraxics and found it truly amazing that 90% of the ones with sleeping problems like me have found that when they have been in a relationship (as in living and sleeping together) that they can fall straight into a sleeping pattern and get a better quality of sleep

as for what some of you say about not clicking with women i do get this yet i do say i really click with women i do not ever get any king of physical attraction to them until i know them quite well i can't take part in one night stands and never have wanted to except once

i also find i have a very lowed sex drive which on it's own is hard enough

i posted this extra story as i have a unique view on life and way of expressing it hope this helps and lets see how much i have forgot haha lol

[madyotto]

yes well pointed out i cant read anyone's emotions at all not even women and i have so many time been accused of coming onto other peoples women because of the instant connection i get with women


all i want is to not feel lonely all the time and have support and cuddles cuddles rule and make me feel safe not that i actually get a feeling of being unsafe i feel so much more at easy when having cuddles and find things less confusing

but the thing is if i am around more than a few people i feel more lonely than ever and withdrawn

oh and i can't make decisions for my self as a have mass lack of self-esteem and confidence this causes mass confusion

also when it come to the bedroom department i can't lead nor can i EVER start thing of and this must be so tiring for the other half

[DeeCar]

I'm the opposite in that I have a high sex drive.

It is difficult for me to get women to think of me as anything other than a friend.

[meow]

I experience the same things as nearly all of you.

I have been told I am very clingy. I like cwtching, a lot and I am quite dependent.

I have no idea if some one is flirting with me, chatting me up and I have no idea how to flirt.

Some one broke up with me because we had no conversation as I am a very quiet person.

Some one broke up with me because they fell out of love with me and saw me more of a friend/sister.

I've never had an argument in a relationship, although I am getting better at telling my boyfriend how I feel.

and I have trouble sleeping with out my boyfriend next too me.

[madyotto]

YES ME TOOO !!!!!!!!!

getting women to see me a a potential suitor and not a friend is very hard almost as hard as all of my ex's have said i get too close to other women and flirt with them this is not true i just click with women not men and i am very cuddly with some friends too (always female)

[SciFiBoy]

I reccently had my first ever girlfriend, which I guess is pretty pathetic as im 22, but still it was a huge thing for me, it ended really badly though, I dont think she ever really understood me and in the end she just went with someone else and let me find out via her facebook, its left me wondering if I will ever meet somoene who likes me for who I am

[DeeCar]

If she's letting you know on facebook rather than actually talking it over then she wasn't worth the trouble in the first place. You'll find someone better. Don't put pressure on yourself on account of age.

[meow]

I reccently had my first ever girlfriend, which I guess is pretty pathetic as im 22, but still it was a huge thing for me, it ended really badly though, I dont think she ever really understood me and in the end she just went with someone else and let me find out via her facebook, its left me wondering if I will ever meet somoene who likes me for who I am

That sounds mean.

[Meg]

I've been with my boyfriend for 26 months he asked me out on valentines day 2009, we were going out as friends before that, the week before we went for a walk in the snow, but he waited a whole week and asked me out on valentines day . I told him in the April I had Dyspraxia and he is very supportive and patient with me and he drives which is a bonus.

Luv Meg
Xxxx

[Creative]

That's really good Meg.

[Meg]

Thanks creative He is really sweet and very supportive