How does everyone cope with being in a relationship?
Iv had boyfrineds in the past but it always seems to go horribley wrong; i just dont seem to be able to cope with it! Call it selfishness, but i dont like having to share my time with someone else, and always having to compromsie things to spend time with them. Having said that, maybe i just havnt found the right person. But from experience, i seem to cope much better on my own, and am happier that way. Some ppl hate being single, yet i love it!! How do everyone elses experiences tally?
Goodbye, and have a pleasant tommorrow!!
I swear to drunk im not God.....
The whole boyfriend thing was a real nightmare! Add to it my aversion to being touched it was all a bit tricky. I went out with some lovely boys but like you say something always went wrong - usually they stopped being able to cope with me. one nice lad accidently really scared me and I couldn't trust him after another asked me to marry him and that was REALLY scary ( I was only 20!!!)_
And then I found my lovely husband. My quuirks and weird bits have never been a problem to him, not ever! they just don't bug him. He's the best friend Ive ever had and he loves me! still can't believe my luck and we've been married for 10 years! aaaw
I don't have much experience with boyfriends- all three of them I got to know through the internet, in Star Trek forums or chatrooms! Johny, my fiance, I'm planning on marrying as soon as we can afford it- but he's got mild Cerebral Palsy and therefore understands my difficulties.
I think my (somewhat limited) experiences have been similar to that of Fuzzy's.
On paper having a girlfriend appeals, but in practice it just seems to be a hassle through being forced to endure terrible Hollywood chick-flicks for instance, and I suppose I'm too much of a solitary type to easily find someone who will fit into and around my peculiar routines. That said, I've not ruled out the idea, but neither am I actively looking.
Ruth - it's great that you've found that special someone though! 10 years and going strong, congrats!
i have a boy friend. and i am finding it hard. i dont understand him most of the time. hes alwasy asking questions then telling me he was hoping for antother answer that apears to be nohting to do with the question asked. ive desided if it doesnt work out with him then ill hapely continue on for the rest of my life with out ever having another boy friend. plus i hate the thought of marrying becase you have to shear a room with some one and i wouldnt want to do taht. i like my own space to much.
Oh yeah Candy; I forogt you had a boyfriend........ im sorry to hear that things still arnt working out well with him. Maybe if its really not working out, the two of you should split up? Mind you, im no expert on relationships so dont readiy take advice from me, lol.... its just that you only get one life- why be with someone if theyr making you feel awkard/ uncomfortable/ exapserated/ frustrated/ unhappy? (i didnt just go through a theasurus there lol)You should do whatever makes you happiest, Monkey- dont stay with someone out of habit, as its not worth it. Besides, the two of you could still be friends?
I hope this helps, though if you think im talking kak please tell me to zip it!
Goodbye, and have a pleasant tommorrow!!
I swear to drunk im not God.....
i,m amazed by how similiar everyones response has been. i to find relationships very difficult. i've allways felt like i should be into them but the realitiy is that i am to fond of my own space and to be honest i find girlfriends become too annoying when they encroach on me and have to many expectations. relationships have allways felt like it is something that others have and not me. however, now i have a better idea of what makes me tick and i now that i'm not this weirdo, i might just be able to let someone get closer to me. if i'm honest i've been pretty lonely most of my life with is kind of hard to admit.
Nick, to some extent it's a matter of understanding and being confident about yourself. It's taken me a while, but I'm now happy and relatively confident in doing what I'm doing and conversely what I'm not doing.
There can be pressure from those around you to be in a relationship, because that's what's seen as 'the norm' and it can seem that everyone else has got a partner, but there's a lot of coupling that goes on that isn't deep or meaningful and let's face it we're better being out of that. If you find that right person, great, but being single doesn't necessarily equate with being lonely. Sure there are times when it might be nice to have a girlfriend, but there are many other occasions when I can get on with whatever I want to do being doing. There's nowt wrong with being picky!
I find myself lonely and wanting someone to talk to, nothing else. Work, sleep see a couple of mates now and again, but I just want someone to listen someone I can also listen to and talk to as well and form a bond with. Is that strange or wrong?
I've asked out girls in the past and they have even said yes to going out with me, but then they tell me they have boyfriends!
I guess there are advantages to being single, but sometimes it is no fun being on your own, although sometimes I like somewhere to myself.
The trouble is If haven't met anyone socially who I've clicked with. That worries me in a way, is it me that isn't a socialite (think that is right word) and so people aren't very interested or is it them looking for people who stand out in the crowd?
i am realy pleased that i found this website and thankyou for such a warm welcome. yeah Daniel i agree with you it is infinetly better to be able to be content with oneself rather than just pineing away for something that is not there. Even though i am a bit lonely at times, i'd much rather be on my own than in a relationship that i dont want to be in or is not making me happy. one of my pet hates is people trying to tell me that i should be involved with someone, or the very worst is when i'm out at a club and someone wants me to get involved in trying to pick up a girl. i'd much rather wait and meet someone that i'm comfortable with and their is some kind of chemistry.
I definitely agree with you Nick. Due to the sort of person I am, I've found the that sort of people I like to spend my time with aren't the type I'm likely to find in a pub or club (added to the fact that I find socialising in these noisy surrounds terribly difficult.) I've found friends in all manner of places, but I think never in the traditional socialising spots. I've even found friends off the net.
I do have some female friends with whom I have a platonic relationship, and I find they work fine. We enjoy each other's company, but there's no added complications of relationship.
David - I understand your points too. I think dyspraxic guys have it hardest, in that we're often not particularly adept at social skills, and it's something of a norm for guys to approach girls to get to know them, rather seldom the other way round.
I think what girls look for varies; there are some common perceptions on this, promoted by the media, but don't believe its all looks, flash cars and money that do it. There will be girls out there who will appreciate you for who you are, it's just that you mind need to find them in less that typical social surroundings. However I'm not the best to advise on the wheres and hows of this, as I've generally had girlfriends in unusual situations (eg. Uni or volunteering abroad).
The first girl I went out with I knew something was wrong but I did'nt know I had dyspraxia then, I kept being obsessive and having mood swings and all sorts for no reason, she then dumped me, lol. Then about several years later I find out I have dyspraxia and I am like dam thats a kick in the teeth, wonder how things would of been if I had have known I had dyspraxia at a earlier age?
There can be a lot of "what ifs" when looking back, especially if you were diagnosed late like so many here seem to have been. I can also think of instances where at least my behaviour in a relationship (and many other places besides) could have at least been explained and perhaps understood by others, rather than they think of me as strange, or whatever they did think at the time. An ex- of mine used to heckle me about my poor memory and my slowness on stairs amongst other things. At least I could have used a reasonably effective reprise had I known at the time I was dyspraxic. I don't have any regrets really on that score, but there are other parts of life where it would really have made a difference had I know. Ah well, no point pondering on what cannot be changed.
As much as I hate being single, I've really stopped trying. I'm not good at the social thing, and I've been single a long time now, and I can't see it changing.
There are other factors too. Aside from dyspraxia - I'm a short male. Really short. I've literally had people say "you're nice, but, you're too short". So, add to that my fumbling with words and general lack of social skill, I have it all against me.
I'm trying to stay busy though. I think thats the key to the situation - filling my life up until there's no time to worry about these things.
Congrats to those married/getting married/with people though
How do everyone elses experiences tally? 
aaaw
Maybe if its really not working out, the two of you should split up? Mind you, im no expert on relationships so dont readiy take advice from me, lol.... its just that you only get one life- why be with someone if theyr making you feel awkard/ uncomfortable/ exapserated/ frustrated/ unhappy? (i didnt just go through a theasurus there lol)You should do whatever makes you happiest, Monkey- dont stay with someone out of habit, as its not worth it. Besides, the two of you could still be friends?](./images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif "Brick wall"){kind=small}
someone I can also listen to and talk to as well and form a bond with. Is that strange or wrong?