Online Dating Progress

Talk about socialising, making friends and relationships

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FAndrews
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by FAndrews » Sat Oct 17, 2015 9:28 pm

honestly after my recent dating failure, in almost a month i haven't bothered looking again online, as i dont see the point and honestly dont know where to turn or look to next. nobody wants to give me a chance it seems :( come on ladies! im a nice guy!

Jim
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by Jim » Sun Oct 18, 2015 4:16 pm

I'm looking, but with no real conviction.

I'm sometimes convinced that I must have this aura about me, one which says "ladies, under no circumstances date this man for he is hideously unattractive".

Maybe I'm just unlucky, but it does feel like I'm destined to be alone forever.
Jim is back ... Jim is J i m and J i m is Jim.

Confused? I'd be.

FAndrews
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by FAndrews » Sun Oct 18, 2015 9:50 pm

i feel the same to be honest, there must be something about me that just makes women uninterested in me :(

Tom fod
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by Tom fod » Sun Oct 18, 2015 10:58 pm

I try to think of it in terms of the right women have not yet had the good fortuneto meet us yet.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

FAndrews
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by FAndrews » Thu Oct 22, 2015 8:57 pm

yeah, there is a match for everyone out there, just a case of finding them.

Jim
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by Jim » Sat Oct 24, 2015 7:27 am

I had a message back from mine out of the blue, claiming to be "not in a good place" at the moment and being unsure if she wanted to talk to or meet people.

I think it's probably a lot of nonsense to be honest, there's still no reason why she couldn't have been more honest before and she did afterall effectively stand me up.

I ignored the message for a few days as I didn't know if I wanted to reply or not. Then basically told her that I might be open to talking to her again but first she needs to be honest and decides what she wants from it. I haven't heard back again though.
Jim is back ... Jim is J i m and J i m is Jim.

Confused? I'd be.

Tom fod
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by Tom fod » Sat Oct 24, 2015 3:16 pm

In some ways I`d like to think I might have responded, "Having been messed around by you I`m not in a good place either"
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Jim
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by Jim » Sat Oct 24, 2015 4:34 pm

Something like that did cross my mind.

I stopped short of it though. But I did tell her that I took her silence to be louder than words and that I'd concluded that she wasn't interested in me.

I enlightened her to that I know what it is like to have zero self esteem and feel unsociable but I am on dating sites because I desire to find a wonderful woman to share my life with, that I picked her because I saw something in her profile which made me smile and that I thought she seemed nice.

I told her that it's actually quite dispiriting being on a dating site for so long but to have very little interaction or progress.

So basically I tried to say without actually a cussing her of anything or outwardly critisicing her... that there are guys out there who behave with courtesy, honesty and respect. And it does actually hurt to be treated without that same level of consideration and respect.

I don't expect to hear from her again to be honest, as I doubt she has the courage.
Jim is back ... Jim is J i m and J i m is Jim.

Confused? I'd be.

FAndrews
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by FAndrews » Sun Oct 25, 2015 12:22 pm

nicely put :)

mattie
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by mattie » Sat Nov 07, 2015 6:24 pm

I have given up with women. I am 33 now and know that nothing will ever happen however much I want to get married/have a family etc. I don't want to get desperate and settle for someone who is not suitable, and relationships have never been a success of mine - far from it! I guess it's about time that I manned up and accepted things as they are and just moved on to other things.

Jim
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by Jim » Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:39 pm

Well, perhaps take a sabbatical from looking.

But never give up hope.
Jim is back ... Jim is J i m and J i m is Jim.

Confused? I'd be.

FAndrews
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by FAndrews » Sun Nov 08, 2015 7:07 pm

mattie wrote:I have given up with women. I am 33 now and know that nothing will ever happen however much I want to get married/have a family etc. I don't want to get desperate and settle for someone who is not suitable, and relationships have never been a success of mine - far from it! I guess it's about time that I manned up and accepted things as they are and just moved on to other things.
when it comes to love and relationships, never settle its better to wait.

Tom fod
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by Tom fod » Sun Nov 08, 2015 10:20 pm

I'd agree with Jim in that it is a good idea to take a break.

I find that I do put a lot of pressure on myself through my attempts at finding love and that this is sadly counterproductive. On one hand I feel I need to be doing something but on the other hand that something seems to make me miserable since the path to dating success has many pitfalls which can be very discouraging.

I'm not sure about 'manning up', there is nothing wrong with being sensitive and having empathy, it doesn't make you 'a girl' and there's no point punishing yourself because your efforts have proved unfruitful.

That's my 2ps worth, I'm hardly a dating guru myself.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

mattie
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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by mattie » Mon Nov 09, 2015 3:56 pm

Thanks. I think it's probably best not to go seeking anything and if anything happens, all well and good...if not, I will try to (slowly) convince myself that that is fine too. I find seeking women out is really pretty demoralising in so many different ways, especially for us guys with dyspraxia who typically have very low self-esteem and poor social skills anyway.

I think it is much more important that we learn to improve our self-esteem and be happy with who we are rather than focus our energies elsewhere, especially when it typically leads to further frustration and/or even lower self-esteem. I am going to focus on finding a sense of inner happiness and contentment instead.

I wish everyone luck whatever they choose. Remember, you don't need someone to love you or be able to get a girl/woman to be worthy of love or special. :)

Matt.

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Re: Online Dating Progress

Post by uniquecharlie » Thu Nov 12, 2015 7:04 pm

im 23 and never kissed a guy as embarressing as it is to admit, i have had one bf for 2 years but it was more of a friendship. sometimes i wish i had someone i could just talk to whenever and hug when i feel sad and just be there but im really not good with pyschical contact unless i really trust the person so ive accepted im properly gonna be alone with my xbox and my dog forever
no i may not be physically alone, but mentally there is noone in sight

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