Need advice please

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It'ser
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Need advice please

Post by It'ser »

Hi I don't know if I'm posting in the right place, if not please redirect me.
I am asking for advice to help my nephew who is in his 30's and has a diagnosis of dyspraxia from school days. he is currently escaping a terrible relationship situation - he is literally doing a runner after being beaten up by his ex girlfriend and her new partner - he lived with her and then she brought another man in and they then attacked him and kept him in the house, bullying him. It's a very long and convoluted story

What I need help with is that he seems to have gone through his life getting into similar situations with friends and relationships - he doesn't seem to be able to read people and if they offer him any friendship he's like a puppy rolling on its back to have his belly rubbed. He thinks he's in love he wants to marry them then after a few months, it all goes badly wrong. He's very articulate, write beautiful poetry although his handwriting is terrible. Very kind and as soft as butter. His last girlfriend was a bit of a drug addict but he was in love with her and wanted to help her till she went off with someone else, the one before that dumped him, he has a child by a woman who again dumped him. He can't seem to settle to a steady job. He's useless with money and can't organise himself- fairly typically dyspraxic

As his auntie I've done a lot of bailing out and trying to organise him and help him whenever I can. Ive managed to persuade him to go back to stay with his mum and dad after this awful episode and he's on his way tomorrow after hiding out somewhere - I'm too frightened to give too many details here until he's safely with his parents.

What I'm asking people is is this behaviour attributable to the dyspraxia or is it something else and what if anything can we do as a family to help him not to keep repeating this pattern with his choice of women.
Thanks for reading this and thanks
Tom fod
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Re: Need advice please

Post by Tom fod »

Hi

I've moved this into relationships. I cannot say this situation is something exclusive to to or typical of people with dyspraxia. However, I can understand from your description that your nephew is really struggling with his sense of self worth and is a truly kind person who sees only the best in others (whilst forgeting himself).

I do feel that he should be making a complaint to the police as this very likely constitutes a hate crime but appreciate this would likely be very difficult for him to see through.
Tom
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With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
It'ser
New member - welcome them!
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2015 6:19 pm

Re: Need advice please

Post by It'ser »

Thanks Tom,
I asked him to write an account of exactly what happened during this assault and email it to me so I can lodge a complaint on his behalf - he said one of his teeth was loosened. I'm waiting for him to do this.
He seems to be a magnet for manipulative women - I think part of the problem is that he's good looking and comes across as articulate and interesting and he's very kind as I said.

I sometimes wonder if he's got a bit of autism to - does anyone have any experience of dyspraxia and autism together?
RGabb
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Re: Need advice please

Post by RGabb »

Hi

Yes when I got diagnosed with Dyspraxia I also got diagnosed with ASD (Autism spectrum disorder) and Aspbergers traits though they all link together, so its likely but not always that someone with Dyspraxia may have Asbergers or Autism. I know someone at college that has Dyspraxia, Autism and Aspbergers also most of the people I meet with Dypraxia which is not a great deal have another difficulty such as autism or Asbergers.
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