Hi,
I'm dyslexic/spld and dyspraxic. I've never found it particularly hard to initially make friends but I feel that some of my dyspraxic tendencies are putting my 'friends' off from spending time with me.
I tend to interrupt people and speak very fast and change the pitch and volume of my voice a lot. I also struggle to express what I want to say and tend to trail off during conversations without realising and then continuing what I'm saying minutes later as if I haven't stopped.
I'm also quite emotionally up and down. I tend to go through phases of being very pessimistic then very optimistic/over-excitable
I understand this is confusing for other people and I don't mind them calling me up on it but it makes me feel like I can't be me.
The more physical problems don't tend to affect my friendships as most my friends find it endearing.
I see a support tutor weekly and she recommended I try to explain to them - but I feel like when I get muddled and say it's my dyspraxia again that they think I'm looking for an excuse/ reason to complain not to mention the 'what's that?' 'Do you mean dyslexia' 'That's not real' etc.
I'm 20, at uni and I want to be able to be me and have lots of friends but it's getting very hard and the more comfortable I get with friendships, the more relaxed I get, the less I try to filter it and the less they seem to like me.
What should I do? Has anyone been in a similar position? Does anyone have any advice?
Sorry for the length!
Thanks
My dyspraxic traits put people off...
Moderator: Moderator Team
Re: My dyspraxic traits put people off...
Hi and welcome to our community
in my own long quest to find some one who can appreciate me for who I am, I came across a quote on someones' POF profile that was attributed to Marilyn Monroe; . . .
"If you can't deal with me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
I'm not certain it's word for word but I think it gets the point across well enough.
Don't be afraid to ask/speak to your GP and/or your support tutor about these difficulties. Trying to explain is difficult as you have to do it when people are receptive and making the judgement on when that is is not easy and/or doesn't ever seem to fall in with when it's needed. Sometimes those who you fear, are the least likely to be understanding, can actually surprise you. If they are not willing to listen or try to understand, are they worth bothering with?
Hope this is of some help in your being able to think situations through and to find some strategies that work for you.
in my own long quest to find some one who can appreciate me for who I am, I came across a quote on someones' POF profile that was attributed to Marilyn Monroe; . . .
"If you can't deal with me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
I'm not certain it's word for word but I think it gets the point across well enough.
Don't be afraid to ask/speak to your GP and/or your support tutor about these difficulties. Trying to explain is difficult as you have to do it when people are receptive and making the judgement on when that is is not easy and/or doesn't ever seem to fall in with when it's needed. Sometimes those who you fear, are the least likely to be understanding, can actually surprise you. If they are not willing to listen or try to understand, are they worth bothering with?
Hope this is of some help in your being able to think situations through and to find some strategies that work for you.
Tom
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Moderator/Administrator
With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)
Re: My dyspraxic traits put people off...
halliec wrote:Hi,
I'm dyslexic/spld and dyspraxic. I've never found it particularly hard to initially make friends but I feel that some of my dyspraxic tendencies are putting my 'friends' off from spending time with me.
I tend to interrupt people and speak very fast and change the pitch and volume of my voice a lot. I also struggle to express what I want to say and tend to trail off during conversations without realising and then continuing what I'm saying minutes later as if I haven't stopped.
I'm also quite emotionally up and down. I tend to go through phases of being very pessimistic then very optimistic/over-excitable
I understand this is confusing for other people and I don't mind them calling me up on it but it makes me feel like I can't be me.
The more physical problems don't tend to affect my friendships as most my friends find it endearing.
I see a support tutor weekly and she recommended I try to explain to them - but I feel like when I get muddled and say it's my dyspraxia again that they think I'm looking for an excuse/ reason to complain not to mention the 'what's that?' 'Do you mean dyslexia' 'That's not real' etc.
I'm 20, at uni and I want to be able to be me and have lots of friends but it's getting very hard and the more comfortable I get with friendships, the more relaxed I get, the less I try to filter it and the less they seem to like me.
What should I do? Has anyone been in a similar position? Does anyone have any advice?
Sorry for the length!
Thanks
I feel the exact same way and I agree with Tom. Uni is very hard both socially and academically but I've realised that even though it feels really upsetting you should still keep trying because you will eventually find the right friends for you. You should try to see this as all the people that leave are the people that are not supposed to be in your life because the ones that are will stay.