TD First Date

[calumfsinclair]

Long time no post! But, I've just met this girl in red cross who is really nice, and I got a first date and now a second one! We've known each other for almost a month and she reallh likes me and I really like her too. I've explained about dyspraxia and tactile defensiveness and she's really supporting and wants to understand. She hugged me after our first date but I sort of pulled away. She understands why I did it, and she wants to help. My question is how can she help me and I help myself so that I don't pull away so much when hugged (and probably eventually kissed)? Any advice would be gratefully received and I would love to know what others have done to help themselves. Deep pressure helps, but i still get the initial shock of being touched.

[Jim]

No advice mate, you're a few steps ahead of me

[TCE]

I've never been in this kind of situation but maybe it's your confidence? I'm 25 and have had many girlfriends, on and off partners etc. even in my teenage years, I've never pulled away, I had so many girls in my teenage years. I'm not sure if I can help ya with this one, but my best advice is to take things slow, then eventually you'll end up opening up to her.

[calumfsinclair]

I think we agreed that, but it's just so annoying. I want to hug her but my body just doesnt like it!

[TCE]

Hopefully you can overcome it, all the best.

[FAndrews]

well first things first, well done you've found someone who understands and that is definitely a good start. only advice i can offer, is take it slow and steady there is no rush.

[Creative]

You sound just like me. I don't like being touched or hugged but I'd like a relationship. I feel the same in that I want to like hugging and kissing when I like someone but my body doesn't seem to like it.

I'd be interested in hearing how you get on.

[calumfsinclair]

I'll tell you after my second date on Tuesday! Then meet the parents on Saturday...

[Creative]

Good luck with the second date and meeting the parents. Hope it all goes ok.

[calumfsinclair]

I'm meeting the parents tomorrow, on my 18th! And I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend because she is so understanding and a genuinely lovely person! Just how...

[Jim]

Well I suppose if you're having "dates" with her and meeting her parents then you're pretty much boyfriend-girlfriend already

Although if you're looking for the actual clarification of it from her... in a quiet moment when you're alone tell her how you feel i.e. that you really like her and ask "Will you be my girlfriend?"

I mean if you're socializing on a one to one basis and she's introducing you to her parents it sounds to me that she already considers herself to be your girlfriend.

[FAndrews]

I agree with Jim, certainly sounds like it to me. when a girl wants to introduce their date to their friends and parents especially, i consider that as a very good sign. good luck, sounds like you are a lucky guy, I'm rather envious

[calumfsinclair]

It went really well!! Just the touching is coming on slowly...