have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

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have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by whittle87 » Mon May 13, 2013 11:41 pm

hi everyone, I'm new to this.

I'm nearly 26 years old and I'm living with Dyspraxia which is currently not 'officially on paper' diagnosed but my doctor thinks I've had it all my life but back then it wasn't well known about enough so wasn't picked up when I was a child. My mum had a completely natural normal birth with me (I was my mum and dads 1st baby) apart from when i came out i didn't want to wake up and breathe so had to be whisked off to be given oxygen. I always knew I was somewhat different to others around me as i got older and I think I could have actually inherited it from my dad as he does very similar things to me and also my half brother, who is now 17, struggled at school and was tested for everything like ADHD, autism etc but they could never diagnose him. and the only thing they didn't test for was Dyspraxia. He is also similar to me and I understand him in a way no one else, not even my dad or his mum, can so I think there is a connection with our dad as to why we may have it. but my dad will not accept this and wont accept that I have Dyspraxia. But my youngest cousin on my mums side is also being assessed for Dyspraxia on a more severe scale and she is nearly 7 which is interesting.

Anyway, my youngest son (i have two boys) is 3 and a half and is VERY similar to me. He has been referred to the child development team now by his consultant (my son also has Epilepsy) as his behaviour and how he deals with the world hasn't been normal for a while now. hes at pre school and they have been very good at letting me know how he is when hes there as he is the same when hes at pre school as he is at home. as a baby he did some things a lot later than my 1st son like walking. his spacial awareness like me is very bad and hes really clumsy. he excells at some things but is very behind in others. i could go on.

Although he is very hard work every day, and he is constant - doesn't stop from the minute he wakes up in the morning till he goes to bed at night, I seem to be one of the only people who 'gets' him and understands him because we are very similar. But i do feel a sense of guilt that i may have passed Dyspraxia onto him. Maybe because I'm worried about the future. I know it is much more common in males and if he does have it, it would explain why he struggles so much, even at 3 and a half.

Thanks so much for reading and it's great to have a forum where I know I can talk to people who also have Dyspraxia.

Sophie x

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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by Jim » Tue May 14, 2013 8:24 am

I have no idea if neurological disorder such as dyspraxia is genetic or not but there does seem to be a link which suggests it could be. There isn't a single thing you can do to prevent passing it on short from not having children so although guilt is an understandable emotion it's as about as useful as flogging a dead donkey.

Since the conventional wisdom has dyspraxia being a developmental immaturity of the brain it's reasonably fair to assume that it's something each sufferer has from birth, it's really no masterstroke by a Doctor or Assesor to say "I think you've probably had it all your life" since it's very much stating the obvious and trying to cover up their own lack of knowledge about Dyspraxia.

Comparing your behaviours against parents may well suggest that one of them is probably Dyspraxic or "neurotic" in some way. But if they don't want to confront that then there really isn't anything you can do to force them, especially if they're comfortable within theirselves, cope well and that going through a traumatic assessment wouldn't be beneficial.
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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by joy » Thu May 30, 2013 5:37 pm

Dyspraxia does have a genetic component and chances increase that you may have a child that inherits similar traits. I have Dyspraxia and so does my son,although some people who have had more than one child,may have one of them that is dyspraxic and the other might not ,when my son was being diagnosed I was asked by several people in the medical profession is there any body else in the family who have Dyspraxia as it does run in families. I think years ago there was know such thing as Dyspraxia and familys just got on with life and just put up with awkwardness so I think many were not aware that they had Dyspraxia and there is a lot more people out there who struggle because they are unaware that they have this .So it would be quite easy to say no one in are family has this, I was one of these people until I found out that I had dyspraxia I said exactly the same thing.

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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by nickye » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:56 am

Hi, I feel sad when I see people feel guilty about possibly passing on dyspraxia and other difficulties to their children. It's easy to say don't feel guilty, but as parents we often do don't we? However, it's also very good for the child, I think, when the parent can understand them so well, and I think that people who don't have these conditions don't understand us so well. I hope people dont' feel guilty because these things have only been known about fairly recently (and still there's nowhere near enough information) so we musn't blame ourselves. I'm 44 and it's taken me ages to get a diagnosis (sent privately in the end). My Dad, although very practical (the complete opposite of me!) has dyslexia, and we struggle with a lot of similar things like losing things, lack of organisation, etc, although I don't struggle with the reading like he does, and he doesn't struggle with the practical skills like I do. But we always seem to "get" each other really well, we have a great relationship, and that is the main thing.

I think for a child to be understood is one of the best things you can do for them. The worst thing for me about having dyspraxia is that people have always said "you need to try a bit harder", "you're being careless", etc, when I was trying really hard to ride a bike, or tie my shoelaces or whatever! However this has given me a lot of understanding in helping other people and children.

My daughter doesn't seem to have got any of these difficulties luckily, although I'm grateful for this, I often feel a bit stupid because she can do things far better than I can! Must have my husband's genes! But I do have a lof of patience for showing her things. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, which I know is easy to say, but I do think you child will have a great advantage by knowing you accept them as they are.

Good luck with everything, Nicky

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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by paulo » Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:00 pm

lets try not to see dyspraxia, dylexia as a problem, and more of a gift.
We have to learn to see things differently to keep up with others in school and work, struggle with sports and condidence, but when we manage to overcome these hardships we are more open minded, capable of extrodonary thinking and move against the crowd. instead of learning difficulties we are creative.

"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed."
Vincent Van Gogh

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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by Boo! » Wed Oct 09, 2013 10:38 am

I feel my best advice to you is to never feel guilty because you have given your child life which is the greatest gift of all. People from all walks of life can have difficulties but they are still here to work through them.

My sister and her daughter both have epilepsy. When my sister was diagnosed as a child my mum went through a period of self-loathing as there are a few epileptics on her side of the family whereas there are none on my dad's side. She thought it was her fault and she got depressed because my sister was having multiple fits. This meant she was suffering over something she had no control over and was not her fault.

I think any parent who passes something on will always feel a sense of guilt but I say look on the bright side and embrace it x :ghug:

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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by Seeker » Tue Jan 14, 2014 11:30 pm

I have a 6 year old son who has been identified as having Dyspraxia on his assessment by an Occupational Therapist. He is also very very similar to me. I am sure I have Dyspraxia although I have never been diagnosed. I also feel guilty. He is lonely at school because he can't keep up with the other kids on the playground. He walks around alone while the other children play. He also does not behave like the other kids. He does not seem to understand social behavior. He is only slightly different but the other kids are so intolerant that even a slight difference is enough for them to to tell them they cannot play with him. He often tells me he is lonely. I worry about his future as all the efforts I have made to fix this situation have failed to improve things.

I think there is a strong genetic component to Dyspraxia as other members of my family display signs of Dyspraxia.

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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by Tom fod » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:03 pm

Hi Seeker/I?

Welcome to the forums (or fora).

As people have said above genetics are beyond our control so please don't feel bad.

My preconceptions about life in Australia believe me to think if you are dyspraxic and aren't very good or interested in sport you can be considered a nobody?

In England being rubbish at sports doesn't seem to matter as much, or at least it doesn't/didn't to me. Has he any interests you can nurture/support. What is the attitude of his school towards his difficulties fitting in and how long have you been in the area?

I was moved to a rural part of Western England. (Forest of Dean Gloucestershire) when I was about 10. It was a struggle at first as things and people were completely alien to what I had known in Coventry. What helped me was that another boy who was also an 'outsider' moved to the area so I was able to form a friendship with him.

I hope things improve.

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.
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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to miy son?

Post by Seeker » Sat Jan 18, 2014 1:26 am

Hi Tom,

Thanks again for replying to my posts! I find your replies very helpful and encouraging.

My son has difficulty doing sports because of his dyspraxia. At school he walks around alone during recess because he can't keep up with the other kids. They are too fast and he can't run fast enough to catch up. He is receiving O.T. and this helps some. He has made enormous improvements in every area. However, as he puts it, "as I get faster, the other kids get faster." He also does not understand the social behavior and behaves differently to the other kids. The difference is very slight but even the smallest difference is enough to isolate.

His school is very supportive and are aware of the diagnosis. His O.T. even comes to the school, watches the child and makes recommendations on how to adjust the teaching to help the child. The teachers do it and are grateful for the advice as it helps them. But they do not see the subtle interactions on the playground. I will discuss this with the O.T.

I behaved very similarly at his age and the effects nearly destroyed me. I was bullied very severely completely isolated. However,I had a very unstable family and no therapy or diagnosis when I was growing up whereas my son has a very stable family and he is loved. I am hoping this will pull him through these difficulties.

neil f
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Re: have i passed dyspraxia to my son?

Post by neil f » Tue Feb 18, 2014 7:08 am

I totally understand as i only recently got diagnosed myself (i'm 43) due to my son being diagnosed 1st and me recognizing the symptoms in myself from the information given to me and my wife about dyspraxia in relation to him. Also looks that my daughter may have it also|!. So in my opinion it looks like it is hereditary.

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